Another song fic. Another song from Patrick's tape, except Gary doesn't listen to it until after the lyrics are put down, but oh, well. Kinda angsty.

Gary compares his life to those of the families on TV, namely the Cleavers.

The song is "Be Like That," by 3 Doors Down. It's a great song, and you should listen to it sometime. Some of the lyrics are changed around though, to make more sense in the story. The second verse says "she," the whole time, so I'm putting he so it makes more sense.

Okay, enough rambling. On with the story. And, no, I don't own anything. Did you really think I did?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Be Like That
by Ally McKnight

Gary rubbed his eyes, sleepily and glanced at the clock. 1 AM, and he sensed no sleep in the near future. He groaned, and rolled out of bed. Not like he'd be using it anytime soon. Gary shuffled to thecouch, and flicked on the TV.
 
Gary was so sick of his stupid life, with the stupid paper, and the stupid people, who didn't even care one STUPID bit if he stuck his neck out for them. He heaved a sigh, and settled back on the couch.

"Ward, I think you're being a little hard on the Beaver."

Gary smirked at the TV screen. How he wished he could be like that. Yeah, why not have the Beaver's life? There was always somebody following right behind him, ready and willing to clean up any mess he made. Why couldn't Ward Cleaver take care of all the articles in the paper when he didn't feel like going out? Where was June Cleaver making sure life was never hard on him, and waiting for him to get home with a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies? Why couldn't he just hop right in the screen, and instantly become Gary Cleaver, regular guy? No problems, no worries, at least none that couldn't be solved in thirty minutes time, minus the commercials.

"Yeah, why not?" Gary asked out loud. "Why can't I be like that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He spends his nights in Chicago
Watching all the stars on the big screen
Then he lays awake and wonders
Why can't that be me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

It wasn't that he didn't like helping people. He loved the grateful people who thanked him dozens of times, and the old woman who pinched his cheek and called him "a fine young man." Well, he could do without the pinching, but oh, well. But then there were the other people. He'd gotten smacked with more purses, canes, and fists, in a week then a real mugger would've gotten in a life time.

Gary's heart was filled with only the best intentions. Go out, and save the world. Help the little guy reach the top. But things happened. Life happened him. Somebody opened up a can of reality and punched him right in the face with it. *Nobody* cared about him. Sure, his folks did, and maybe Chuck and Marissa, but other than that, really no one. Because nobody else ever asked him if he was okay, if he needed some time to himself. Nobody.

In his eyes, you could start to see him wearing down. You could see him growing weary, could almost see that he'd lost all faith in human nature. His eyes were too old for him. They had seen things that no man would ever want to see. They were tainted, with all the things he saw and experienced. And his ears, with all the things he'd heard. All the prejudice, and the hate. He'd seen it, heard it, put up with it, and it was all he could do for the rest of his life. Listen to the people accusing him of being crazy, or having a hero complex, and quietly walking away, pretending he never felt the stab of pain that went through his heart every time he heard the word, 'crazy,' or 'lunatic.' Pretending was his way out. The only way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cause in his life he's filled
With all these good intentions.
He's left a lot of things
He'd rather not mention
Right now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, to live the life of a TV character. Your biggest problems solved in a half an hour, or at most with a to be continued, where it was put on hold for a week. Why couldn't his days always end like that? With a hug, a kiss, and an ending joke? Why couldn't he shift the weight of the world onto someone else's shoulders? Sleep in and blame the other guy for once when something went wrong?

"It'd be too easy, Hobson," Gary mumbled. "Your life is just so much more interesting than that." He turned off the TV set, and just like that, the Cleavers' problems vanished.

Gary threw on a pair of jeans, and grabbed the keys to the McGinty's van. He didn't bother to grab his wallet or jacket or anything. He needed to get out as quickly as possible. He ran down the steps in a hurry. He had to get away from the perfect, plastic world known as TV Land.

A drive, he figured might help clear his head. Chicago wasn't so busy at 1 AM, when most of the sane people were sleeping soundly in their bed, dreaming of the future. Gary couldn't dream of the future any more. Because he knew how his life would end. Once a paper boy, always a paper boy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But just before he says good night
He looks up with a little smile
And says
If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
What would I do?
Now and in dreams we run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary stopped at a park he had often come to, to go running, and sometimes, just to look around at all the people. When he first came to Chicago, everything was so magical and exciting. Things were going on. People were going places and doing things, a step above Hickory. Time seemed to stand still in Hickory, but in Chicago, everything moved by in one big blur. Now, it was just another city to Gary, once he found out all it's secrets.

He sat down on a bench, over looking the lake. Sometimes he sat around to read the paper on that bench. A lot of kids went skateboarding in the area. But at night time, it was unusually peaceful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He spends his days up at the the north park
Watching the people as they pass
And all he wants is just
A little piece of this dream
Is that too much to ask?
With a big family, and warm bed,
On a quiet little street
All he wants is just something to hold onto
That's all he needs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary needed something in his life. Something to keep him happy. A family, a wife, kids, the American dream. That was all he ever desired for. He'd give up all the money in the world to have true, pure, happiness. Plain and simple, even old-fashoined. He foolishly thought that he could live out that dream with Marcia. And again with Emma. He had to face it. He'd never find someone to love. Never find his soul mate. Never ever find the woman who'd spend the rest of her life with him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. He's never have that life.

Gary Hobson would never have the perfect, model family, like you see on TV. A hard-working father. You never knew quite what he did, just that he did it well, and he supported the family. A house wife, who cleaned the house wearing pearls, and changed her dress every ten minutes. A wife who saw  her children as her little boys, even as they grew older. A son, athletic and handsome, and never did anything wrong. A guy who could set a good example for every little boy in the world. And another kid, just an average joe. Loveable and sweet, just got into a little trouble every now and then.

Not that Gary wanted it like that. No, he wanted to just have a normal family. He didn't need a house with a white picket fence, and a big back yard. He didn't really want a dog named Sparky, and 2.5 kids. He just wanted to be happy. To be able to live his life every day and not worry about anything besides what to feed his kids for dinner that night, or what to get little Gary Jr. for his 5th birthday.

But there would be no little Gary Jr. There would be no house with the white picket fence either. It'd be a few simple things: McGinty's, tomorrow's Sun-Times, and the lingering hope for a better life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
What would I do
What would I do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary stretched his arms, and thought about it for a second. If maybe, for just one day, he could live the life he wanted since forever, what would he do?

Of course, he didn't have to think about it. He'd already had the whole thing planned out since he'd first got married. He'd take his two boys and one girl, (Zeke, Gary Jr., and Rachel) to a baseball game, along with his beautiful wife. They'd order a couple of hot dogs, and the children would be enchanted by their father's tales of his childhood, and when his dad took him to his first game. Gary would buy them all Cubs caps, or White Sox caps, depending on which team they were watching.

After the game, they'd get some ice cream at a nearby Dairy Queen. The kids would start to get sleepy, they were staying up well past their bed time. By the time they'd get home, it'd be almost midnight, and the kids would be asleep in the back seat. Gary would gently take Gary Jr. and Zeke up to their bed room, while his wife would take Rachel.

And just as he'd tucked in each of the boys, and kissed their little foreheads, their eyes would flutter open and they'd say in barely above a whisper, 'I love you, Daddy.' And his heart would melt, and he's whisper back, 'I love you both.' And the same thing would happen when he went to go tuck in Rachel.

Gary stopped the fantasy abruptly, when he realized he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't let himself cry, because if he did, he'd abandon all his hope of ever having the life he wanted. And as he feared, that shread of hope was the only thing keeping him alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm falling into this
In dreams we run away
If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do
What would I do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary climbed back into the van. He had to go home, and forget all his previous thoughts. Just go back to the daily grind, and forget every wish he ever wished for a nicer life. Then he wouldn't hurt so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that,
What would I do
What would I do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forget the perfect life....forget happiness....and family.....and all the things Gary Hobson ever strived for....leave them in the past.

"Face it," Gry told himself. "You'll never be like that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do
What would I do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The silence in the car was too much for Gary. He rifled through the glove compartment until he came up with what he was looking for. The tape Patrick had given him for his birthday. Maybe he could just take himself away in the music and forget. Maybe.

He popped it into the tape player and hit, 'play.' He continued driving.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Falling in
I feel I am falling in
To this again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe he'd never be like that.

But he'd never give up hope.
 

Email the author: coventrys@yahoo.com
 

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