This is the winner of Becky Thomson's "Insane" challenge.

Summary: Gary meets a young girl with Hodgkin's disease, [cancer.] He is immediately charmed by the young sick girl, who, despite her illness, is surprisingly optimistic. When Cameron [the girl] dies, Gary questions how much he really does with the paper.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Tiny ones, "Fate," and "Angels and Devils."

This is dedicated in loving memory of Michael Cuccione, of the TV show .k.a. boy band, 2Gether. Rest in peace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Keep Going
by Mary Hobson

Gary walked down the hall of the hospital. The nerve of some people. Try and stop a kid from chopping off a limb, and get no gratitude The kid's mother did not have to whack him over the head with her purse and call him a 'Looney Toon.'

"..Breaking up is hard enough, whoa, oh, oh, say you have nothing but I called your bluff. You've got my sweaters, my hat, I can't find my hat. The hardest part of breaking up..... is getting back your stuff."

Gary turned to the singing girl, and smiled despite his fowl mood. A young girl, around ten years old, sat in a wheelchair. She had a black Dr. Seuss hat, with yellow smiley faces all over it.

"You've got quite a singing voice there," Gary said, smiling at the girl.

"Thanks," she replied, looking up. She drew back. "Wow, you're hotter than Freddie Prinze Jr.!" She exclaimed.

Gary chuckled. "Is that so?" He asked. Any other day, a comment like that would cause him to blush, or frown, but he liked this girl.

"Oh, yeah. You're not married, are you? Freddie's not married, but he's dating Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who's real name is Sarah Michelle Geller," she stated.

"Buffy, huh? I like that name," Gary said, winking. "And, no, I'm not married."

"Well then I can still get a kiss from you, huh?" She asked. "By the way, I'm Cameron Ventura." She held out her hand.

Gary shook it. "Gary Hobson, and probably a little too old for you."

"I can work around age," Cameron said. "I'm here for chemotherapy. The doctor's have to take blood. I have Hodgkin's disease."

Gary looked at her for a moment, amazed. When he was her age, the most he ever worried about was if his mother found out about the extra cookie he had taken from the cookie jar. He was amazed at her bravery.

"You're a really brave girl," Gary said. "I hate needles, and doctors."

Cameron laughed. "It's not so bad. You just have to get used to the doctors, 'I'm-your-best-friend,' act. And after awhile you stop really feeling the needles. The hard part for me was losing my hair."

"Well, I like your hat," Gary said.

"I'm not much of a baseball hat person," Cameron explained. "Besides this place can give you the creeps, and the smiley faces help brighten people up."

"Well, I'm more of a baseball hat person. I doubt I'd look good in a hat like that," Gary said.

"Oh, trust me, it'd be perfect on you. It's just all about the attitude. Well, you'd look good in anything," Cameron replied. "Especially a cape. You ever worn one?"

"Not in awhile," Gary replied. He chuckled a little. There was something about Cameron that just made his bad spirits float away.

"Cameron!" A voice called. A tall man, with the same pale skin, and freckles as Cameron, came jogging up to them.

"Hey, Dad," Cameron said. "Dad, this is Gary Hobson. Gary, this is my dad. My mom died when I was little, and me and Dad live alone."

"Keith Ventura," Cameron's father said, holding out his hand, and shaking Gary's.

"Gary Hobson," Gary replied. "You're daughter's quite a gal. A real charmer."

"She has that effect on people," Keith said. "And she's a real nut too."

"I learn from the best," Cameron said, smiling at Keith. Gary noticed the warm smile that radiated between them. Gary smiled. He wished he had a daughter that he could smile at like that.

"Honey, we have to go take blood now," Keith said softly.

"Okay. Bye Gary. Can you come see me again sometime? I'm staying at room 101," Cameron said, eagerly.

"Sure, I'll come tomorrow," Gary replied. "Maybe I'll bring my friend Marissa. You'd like her. How about it?"

"Cool," Cameron said. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Cameron. I'll be here tomorrow." Gary waved at her, as Keith wheeled her down the hall.

Gary turned to leave. She was really sweet. Gary had always wanted kids, and Cameron was a perfect example of why.

Checking the paper, he realized he only had a little while before some lady fell down her stairs, and broke her hip. He ran out of the hospital, with places to go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning, Marissa," Gary said, brightly. He walked into McGinty's the next morning, freshly showered, and happy. Marissa took note of the unusual cheerfulness in his voice.

"So, what's her name?" She asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Who?" Gary asked. The cat hopped up onto a bar stool. Gary scooped him up, and began stroking his fur. "Hey little buddy." The cat purred in his arms.

"Whoever has got you in such a good mood," Marissa replied, smiling.

"Let me see. Her name is Cameron Ventura, she's ten years old, and wears Dr. Seuss hats," Gary said.

"Huh?" Marissa asked, confused.

Gary burst out laughing. "That look on your face," he choked out, slapping his knees.

Marissa smiled. She had never heard Gary laugh like that in a long time. Obviously, something in his life was, for once, going right.

"So, her name is Cameron, she's ten, and she wears Dr. Seuss hats?" She repeated slowly.

"Yep. She also has cancer. I met her at the hospital today. She just has this way of making me smile." Gary himself, smiled. "I'm going to visit her again today. Wanna come? You'll like her." Gary said.

Marissa's grin widened. "I'd like to meet anyone who can get a genuine laugh out of Mr. Gary Hobson. I guess I'll be there."

"How about we meet at St. John's at noon? I have to stop a car accident, and then I want to pick her up a gift, but then I'll head over."

"Okay, noon. I'll ask for Cameron Ventura. Good luck with the car accident." Marissa then pulled out her Braille reader. This girl had obviously stolen Gary's heart. She had to be there to congratulate her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Just watch your step next time, ma'am" Gary said, leading the elderly woman to the safety of the sidewalk.

"Thank you son," the woman replied. "It's always nice to meet another caring person in this world."

"No problem," Gary replied, as he walked off. He began whistling, and thinking of Cameron. He stopped at a toy store. He entered, wondering what Cameron might like.

He strolled down the aisles, thinking about what to buy her. None of the stuffed bears were right for Cameron, and the Barbies weren't that original. Then he saw it.

A stuffed tiger. It black and orange stripes running down it. For some reason, it made Gary think of Cameron. Something about the boldness of it, and the mischief it seemed to hold.

Gary remembered his first stuffed animal, a brown monkey named Vinny. His parents had given it to him when he was little. His mom had always said how perfect it was for him. The way it seemed curious, and adventurous yet at the same time, quiet, and shy. Vinny had suited him, and this tiger definetly suited Cameron.

He bought the tiger and a black gift bag with yellow smiley faces, remembering the hat she wore. He hoped she's like it.

He walked the four blocks to the hospital, a smile present on his face. He reached room 101, downright happy.Walking into Cameron's room, he saw Marissa was already there, with Keith and Cameron.

"Gary!" Cameron said. "It's good to see you. You're right, I do like Marissa. She's been telling me all about you."

"Nothing bad, I hope," Gary said. This girl had definetly taken a hold of his heart.

"Nothing bad. Then I told her all I knew about you," Cameron said, brightly.

"Yes, she told me how cute you are. Funny I hadn't noticed," Marissa said. Gary could tell by her smile that Cameron had won her over too.

"I got you something," Gary told Cameron.

"Really? Is it a pony?" She asked. She wore the same Dr. Seuss hat, and wide smile. Keith was smiling at her like she was the only person on earth.

Gary chuckled. "No, it's not a pony, but I think you'll like it," he said, handing her the bag.

"Okay, but you owe me a pony," Cameron said. "And if you don't get me one, I'll get my dad to come after you," she added, jokingly.

"Put it on my tab, and I promise you, I won't leave the country," Gary replied.

"Nice wrapping," Cameron commented. She pulled out the tiger, and her whole face lit up.

"You like it?" Gary asked, eagerly.

"I love it!" Cameron exclaimed. "He's so cute. I think this tiger's name will be... Hobbes. Like Calvin and Hobbes, and Gary Hobson. Thank you so much."

"I'm flattered you'd call him Hobbes," Gary said.

Cameron leaned back in bed. "Wanna play 'Battleship?" She asked.

Gary considered. He had three hours before his next task. "Sure, I'd be honored to. What about you Marissa?" He asked.

Marissa smiled. "I'd like tom but I can't. I'm meeting Emmit for lunch."

"Who's Emmit?" Cameron asked.

"She's Marissa's..... boyfriend," Gary said, in a teasing voice.

"Ohhhh, is he cute?" Cameron asked.

"He's just the cat's pajamas," Gary said, teasingly. He is a little short, hunched over, big, gigantic nose... could catch flies in that thing... but yeah, a nice looking guy."

"Oh, stop it," Marissa said. "He's very nice, and he sounds very cute."

"Things aren't always as they sound," Cameron said.

"Okay, let's stop teasing Marissa about her main man. We can do that later. Now... Battleship."

"Bye, Gary," Marissa said.

"Bye, Marissa. See you at the bar later. Need any help out of here?" He asked.

"No thanks," Marissa said. "I'll just have to find that nice man who helped me before."

"Ohhhhh, does Emmit have competition?" Gary asked.

"Bye Gary," Marissa replied. "Bye Cameron."

"Bye Marissa," Cameron said. Marissa left, and Keith went to the cafeteria to get lunch.

Gary took off his coat, and pulled up a plastic chair.

"I'll warn you though," Cameron said. "I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're adorable. I play to win," she added, her brown eye twinkling.

"I wouldn't dream of trying to flirt to win," Gary replied.

"Oh, you can flirt, that I'd never mind," Cameron said. "Just don't expect that to make me let you win."

Gary smiled. She really was something else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"you only one because of that blank look of yours," Cameron said. "Like the lights are on, but nobody's home."

"I've perfected that look," Gary replied. "And I only won because you fell for my charm."

"Hilarious. Me and Hobbes challenge you to a rematch," Cameron said.

Gary glanced at his watch, and frowned. It was later than he'd thought. "I wish I could, but I have an important errand to run," he said.

"Okay," Cameron said, downcast.

"Hey, don't fret about it. I'll come back tomorrow, and maybe I'll let you win."

"You wish," Cameron replied. "I saw you peeking at my board. You knew exactly where my ships were."

"Well, I'm a psychic" Gary replied.

"Uh-huh, sure. Cheater," Cameron teased. "But, I understand why you have to go. You have to go save someone else's life."

Gary stopped. She was amazingly perceptive. "Something like that. See ya, kid."

"Bye, kid," Cameron replied. Gary shook his head, and grinned. Then he left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next two weeks, Gary visited Cameron every day, and every day she got a little weaker. Gary would bring her little presents, and they'd play board games. Battleship, Scrabble, Monopoly, everything. Gary also developed a close friendship with Keith. They shared the same love of baseball.

Then, one day when Gary came to see Cameron, they wouldn't let him in. She was fighting pneumonia and not doing too good. Gary scanned the paper quickly. There was no mention of Cameron. He breathed a sigh of relief. She was okay, at least for another day.

Finally, after an hour and a half wait, Keith led him in. She didn't look very well. She was pale, and tired. All the chemotherapy and radiation that she had gone through had made her lungs weak. Gary felt his heart clench when he saw her. It was funny. He hadn't even known Cameron for that long, yet she still had had such an impact on his life.

Even as bad as she looked, Cameron had the same playful twinkle in her eyes.

"Hey Cameron," Gary said, softly, noticing how she clutched Hobbes.

"Gary," she said quietly. That was as loud as she could talk. "Wanna play Battleship?" She asked.

"Only if you let me win," Gary said, trying to keep his voice light.

"You can't get by..." Cameron took a deep breath, "on just the kindness of strangers," she managed to say.

"I guess not," Gary replied.

"Mr. Hobson?" A nurse leaned her head in the door. "I'm sorry but you'll have to go. We need to run a few tests on Cameron."

"One minute," Gary said. The nurse nodded, and left the two of them alone. He turned back to Cameron. "Looks like I'd better leave," he said.

"Don't I get... a goodbye kiss?" Cameron asked.

Gary bent down, and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"It's not goodbye, not yet," he said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, after preventing a mugging, Gary ran to the hospital. The first thing he saw was Keith, crying his eyes out.

"Keith, what's wrong?" Gary asked, rushing up to him.

"She died, Gary," Keith choked out. "Her, l-l-lungs collapsed. Last night. Too late to even make the papers." He burst out crying again.

"Oh, God," Gary whispered. "No." His knees went weak, and he started to cry. "No."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary attended the funeral, with Marissa. He stood towards the back, tears running freely down his cheeks. It wasn't a large ceremony, but there was a good number of people there.

He saw Keith get up to speak a few words, honoring his only daughter. He cleared his throat. His eyes were red-rimmed, and he had obviously been crying for a long time.

"I don't have much to say, well I do, but I probably can't say it all. Not like Cameron could. She always had a way with words, a way with people. She could charm a complete stranger, and sometimes that'd be what she'd do. When I found out she had cancer, my world came crashing down. Cameron was my whole life. Through all of it, Cameron was the brave one, and I
was the worrywart.

That's how she was. Optimistic through everything. She loved life, and always had a smile on his face. Like I said, I don't have much to say, well I do, I just wish I could say it better. I keep hearing this song in my head that Cameron would listen to so much it would drive me crazy.

   'Cause everybody wants to be a winner,
    Nobody wants to lose their game.
    It's the same for me,
    It's the same for you,
    It's insane....'

"Cam, honey, that's all I have to say. And you never lost your game, you've only just begun to play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary poured two cups of coffee, one for him, and one for Marissa. He set them down on the table in his loft. The funeral had been two hours before.

Marissa knew Gary was in pain. She took a sip of coffee. "Is there anything in the paper?" She asked slowly.

"I can't bring myself to even look at it." Gary replied "It's now that I realize how very little I actually do with the paper." He scratched the back of his neck.

"You do a lot with the paper, and you know it," Marissa said.

"No... no.... I don't. People die every day of cancer, and other disease...." Gary trailed off.

"Those are things you don't have control over. You can't play God," Marissa said, calmly.

"I cared so much for her. She could always make me smile. She told me a joke once. Wannna hear it?" Gary asked.

"Okay," Marissa replied.

"What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?" He asked.

Marissa remained silent. She didn't know how to reply.

"Give up? Kids don't eat broccoli." Gary shook his head. "For some reason it made me laugh, no matter how gross it sounds."

Marissa still had no idea what to say. How could she respond to that?

"Do you realize it, Marissa? That I don't do squat with this rag? What about all those kids in the hospital? Why can't I save them? What about all my failures? JoJo? Jeremiah?" Gary just got angry. Not at Marissa, not at the cat, not even at the paper. Just angry in general.

"Things happen for a reason," Marissa said softly. It was all she could say.

"Reason? What reason could there be for this girl to die? She was nice, she was pure. She always said her prayers, she always ate her vegetables. She always said please and thank-you. She did everything right, but now she's gone," Gary ranted. "And I couldn't do one damn thing about it."

There was a knock at the door. It was Keith. He handed Gary an envelope.

"Cameron wanted me to give this to you. You meant a lot to her. Thank you for spending time with her. You don't know how much it meant to us," Keith said. With that, he turned to leave.

"I'm sorry," Gary said, after him.

Keith turned around. "Don't be."

When he left, Gary tore open the envelope.

Dear Gary,
  Keep going. Don't give up when I'm gone. You're
doing all you can and that's good enough for me, and
good enough for Chicago. I love you, Gary Hobson,
whether you know this or not. You are a wonderful
person. Don't ever forget that. Never, ever forget
that.
  Luv,
   Cameron

P.S. Hobbes thinks you're nice too.

P.S.S. I let you win at Battleship.

Gary put down the letter, and looked up at Marissa.

"Gary, what is it?" Marissa asked.

"A letter," Gary replied. He picked up the paper. "I better get going."

"Why?" Marissa asked.

"There's a car accident in a half an hour. I have to stop it. I have to keep going."

Marissa smiled. "Good luck."
--------------------------
 

Email the author: coventrys@yahoo.com
 

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