Very EE Birthday

Madlib: A Very EE Birthday
by The Early Edition Fanfic List

Many of you may remember madlibs as a childhood game, especially if your family took long car trips. On an email list, it works like this: the author of the original story (peregrin anna, in this case) leaves certain words out of the story, then asks lists members to contribute a list of words to be inserted in the blanks ("the first word should be a noun, the second a verb, then another noun," etc.). Participants do not see the story ahead of time, so the results are often hilarious. Below you will see the same story repeated 29 times, but with different words inserted each time. Sounds kooky, but it's a lot of fun.

Disclaimer: Not responsible for damage to computer caused by eating or drinking while reading.

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A Very EE Birthday
by The Early Edition Fanfic List

A Very EE Birthday

#1
by earlydues:

His <purple> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <42> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <army men> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <fuzzy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <indignantly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <splat>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <lumbered> under Gary.

"Holy <squirrels>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Banana Man>," Crumb groused <harshly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <spat> the paper against his thigh. "<Rassafratch>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <big toe on the right foot>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <mangy> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <yella> <clipboard>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <misguided> package wrapped in <palms>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <braided> <horses> from <San Antonio>?"

"You could always <plant> them for <Brigatti>," Gary suggested <suddenly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <slimy>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <stinkin'> <earwig>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <feathered> <Mallow Cups>, and they both enjoyed the <leaning> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <734> <crotchety> children from a runaway <hag>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

#2
by Becky:

His <grotesque> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <seventy-two> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <rocking horses> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <stringy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <loudly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <crack>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <danced> under Gary.

"Holy <cages>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Hamster Boy>," Crumb groused <quietly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <made> the paper against his thigh. "<Eureka>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <arm>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <skinny> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <pale> <mirror>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <patterned> package wrapped in <clocks>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <metallic> <dinosaurs> from <Poynton>?"

"You could always <swim> them to <Patrick>," Gary suggested <grudgingly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <small>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <bloated> <fish>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <yellow> <tacos>, and they both enjoyed the <spicy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <nineteen> <muscular> children from a runaway <rabbit>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

#3
by Steph

His <dark> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <100> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Furbies> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <grumpy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <quickly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <honk>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <jumped> under Gary.

"Holy <books>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Spiderman>," Crumb groused <wordlessly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <ran> the paper against his thigh. "<Holy Moly>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <nose>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <green> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <slimy> <dog>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <silly> package wrapped in <peanuts>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <runny> <computers> from <Williamsburg>?"

"You could always <hop> them to <Lois>," Gary suggested <slowly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <crazy>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <purple> <cat>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <stupid> <Matza>, and they both enjoyed the <outrageous> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <4000> <shiny> children from a runaway <fan>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

#4
by Eve-L (Lady Jayne)

His <purple> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <56> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Easy Bake Ovens> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <spicy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <inadvertenly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <sproing>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <jiggled> under Gary.

"Holy <chariots>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Bungee Boy>," Crumb groused <desperately>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <staggered> the paper against his thigh. "<Wowee>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <tiny> <goat>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with an <itcy> package wrapped in <pie>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <mysterious> <haystacks> from <Shawinigan>?"

"You could always <dance> them to <Patrick>," Gary suggested <oddly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <plasticky>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <stiff > <disk>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <wet> <pickles>, and they both enjoyed the <square> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <79> <downy> children from a runaway <smile>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#5
by Allison

His <long-haired> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <4> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <stuffed apes> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <short> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <lightly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <thwack>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd <sang> under Gary.

"Holy <Drums>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Superman>," Crumb groused <menancingly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <strolled> the paper against his thigh. "<Yikes>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <hand>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <red> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has an <opaque> <television>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <square> package wrapped in <bottles>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <high> <stars> from <California>?"

"You could always <drive> them to <Det. Armstrong>," Gary suggested <piecemeal>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <thin>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <long> <1966 Pontiac GTO>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <imposing> <lasange>, and they both enjoyed the <stringy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <1> <stellar> child from a runaway <wire>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#6
by Elizabeth

His <happy> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <42> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <bubbles> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <periwinkle> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <quickly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <beep>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <walked> under Gary.

"Holy <turtles>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Spiderman>," Crumb groused <sadly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <sung> the paper against his thigh. "<Wow>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <leg>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <humungous> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <transparent> <woman>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <shivering> package wrapped in <clocks>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <funny> <dogs> from <Kansas>?"

"You could always <shout> them to <Crumb>," Gary suggested <languidly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <white>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <bright> <whale>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <neon> <cheesburgers>, and they both enjoyed the <pretty> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <8> <quiet> children from a runaway <children>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#7
by Paper Caper

His <disgruntled> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <17> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <stuffed Care Bears> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <funky> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <absent-mindedly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <moo!!>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <sung> under Gary.

"Holy <cows>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Pink Power Ranger>," Crumb groused <groovily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <break-danced> the paper against his thigh. "<Fiddlesticks>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <gall bladder>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <cheesy> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has an <unconscious> <Backstreet Boys CD>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <fuzzy> package wrapped in <unicycles>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <giggling> <pajamas> from <Brisbane, Australia>?"

"You could always <trace> them to <Erica>," Gary suggested <uncontrollably>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <crying>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <saucy> <buddy list>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <giddy> <pizza>, and they both enjoyed the <slimy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <12> <irritating> children from runaway <shampoo>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 8
by Darby Ross

His <disappointed> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <11> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <stuffed bunnies> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <pink> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <immediately> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <clunk>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <showered> under Gary.

"Holy <peanuts>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Aquaman>," Crumb groused <hurriedly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <slept> the paper against his thigh. "<Yowza>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <calf>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <huge> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <bulging> <clown>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <drunk> package wrapped in <tables>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <red> <tapes> from <Hoboken>?"

"You could always <run> them to <Crumb>," Gary suggested <sleepily>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <calm>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted an <angry> <barstool>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <short> <ice cream>, and they both enjoyed the <purple> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <19> <sad> children from a runaway <candle>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

# 9
by inkling

His <fuzzy> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <42> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Mr. Potato Heads> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <spotty> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <wildly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <slurp>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <run> under Gary.

"Holy <giraffes>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Johnny Quest>," Crumb groused <bitingly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <sucked> the paper against his thigh. "<Hells bells and buckets of blood>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <pituitary gland>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <furry> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has <purple> <rain>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <smeary> package wrapped in <globs>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <absurd> <labyrinths> from <Earth, Texas>?"

"You could always <bite> them with <the Cat>," Gary suggested <lightly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <amaranthine>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted <cerulean> <rocks>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <odiferous> <cheese>, and they both enjoyed the <Jungian> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <53> <Daliesque> children from a runaway <Chiclet>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

#10
by Kathleen

His <crusty> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <14> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <cap guns> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <svelte> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <wearily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <spoink!>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <evacuated> under Gary.

"Holy <pigeons>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Spiderman>," Crumb groused <casually>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <challenged> the paper against his thigh. "<Ouch>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <spleen>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <splendid> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <hollow> <book>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <wized> package wrapped in <elevators>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <mushy> <brackets> from <Providence, Rhode Island>?"

"You could always <illustrate> them for <Crumb>," Gary suggested <orderly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <husky>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <slimy> <lamp>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <tainted> <chicken>, and they both enjoyed the <pitted> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <7> <strident> children from a runaway <library>.

But that's a story for another day!

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A Very EE Birthday

#11
by Elaine

His <bright> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <14> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <stuffed aliens> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <hard> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <lightly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <ka-thud>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <run> under Gary.

"Holy <lillies>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Mighty Mouse>," Crumb groused <gaily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <held> the paper against his thigh. "<Gosh>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <hip>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <large> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <hollow> <plant>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <small> package wrapped in <bells>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <funny> <geese> from <San Francisco>?"

"You could always <point> them to <Henry>," Gary suggested <carefull>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <gorgeous>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted an <untroubled> <certificate>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <warm> <sunflower seeds>, and they both enjoyed the <quiet> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <10> <confident> children from a runaway <stapler>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#12
by Measer

His <cranky> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <266> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Easy Bake Ovens> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <fuzzy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <loudly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <TWUNK!>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <licked> under Gary.

"Holy <biscuits>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Gambet>," Crumb groused <swiftly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <slept> the paper against his thigh. "<Uh oh>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <big toe>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <neon pink> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <hairy> <beer>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <lovely> package wrapped in <taxis>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <shiny> <hockey sticks> from <New York City>?"

"You could always <smack> them to <Boswell>," Gary suggested <quickly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <gray>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <dirty> <comic book>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <orange> <Mu Shu Pork>, and they both enjoyed the <orange> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <54> <fizzy> children from runaway <kitty litter>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#13
by Irene

His <silly> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <25> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Barbie Dolls> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <crazy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <suddenly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <boon>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <stopped> under Gary.

"Holy <horses>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Spider Man>," Crumb groused <nicely>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <fell> the paper against his thigh. "<Oh>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <ear>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <terrible> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <sweet> <book>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <small> package wrapped in <clocks>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <big> <mops> from <Duluth, Minnesota>?"

"You could always <walk> them to <Patrick>," Gary suggested <costly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <beautiful>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted an <ugly> <ball>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <spunky> <Mash Potatoes>, and they both enjoyed the <pink> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <14> <warm> children from a runaway <computer>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#14
by Pammie

His <sneaky> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <16> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <tops> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <addictive> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <stealthily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <Brrr>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <jumped> under Gary.

"Holy <dogs>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Spiderman>," Crumb groused <cheerily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <sped> the paper against his thigh. "<Yeehaw>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <pinky nail>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <slippery> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <gentle> <fan>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <soft> package wrapped in <cotton>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <swift> <cows> from <Pittsburgh>?"

"You could always <speed> them to <Marcia>," Gary suggested <dangerously>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <pitted>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <pruny> <peach>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <sweet> <pizza>, and they both enjoyed the <vindictive> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <32> <superfluous> children from a runaway <taco>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#15
by Fox aka Volzy

His <dark> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <477> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <light sabers> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <black> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <sleepily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <crash>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <stumbled> under Gary.

"Holy <kids>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Super Dude>," Crumb groused <quickly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <fell> the paper against his thigh. "<Cool>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <head>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <silver> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <calm> <bike>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <green> package wrapped in <shorts>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <loud> <cameras> from <Whitesboro, NY>?"

"You could always <drive> them to <Patrick>," Gary suggested <comically>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <quirky>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <strange> <CD>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <slow> <pizza>, and they both enjoyed the <tired> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <106> <short> children from a runaway <bed>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 16
by Bill

His <sweetest> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <one> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <swords> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <lurking> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <merrily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <trill>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <tittle-tattled> under Gary.

"Holy <varlets>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Achilles>," Crumb groused <plainly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <swore> the paper against his thigh. "<Tut>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <brain>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <weak> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <dear> <fool>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <treacherous> package wrapped in <charity>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <rotten> <arrows> from <Wales>?"

"You could always <follow> them to <Cat>," Gary suggested <bounteously>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <old>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <humble> <deed>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <goodly> <butter>, and they both enjoyed the <mutual> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <two> <fairy> children from a runaway <glove>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

#17
by GaryHobsonEE

His <sexy> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <7> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Hot Wheels> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <funny> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <suddenly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <thump>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <was-ed> under Gary.

"Holy <computers>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Superman>," Crumb groused <grouchily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <saved> the paper against his thigh. "<Whoa>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <eyebrow>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <husky> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <stinky> <paper>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <grumpy> package wrapped in <men>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <lonely> <cats> from <Bartlesville, Oklahoma>?"

"You could always <wish> them to <Cat>," Gary suggested <sheepishly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <blue>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <yellow> <horse>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <wet> <chicken, broccoli, cheese w/rice>, and they both enjoyed the <yummy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <2> <dreamy> children from a runaway <Gary Hobson>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 18
by Cindy

His <scary> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <4> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Furbies> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <plump> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <happily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <splat>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <run> under Gary.

"Holy <yaks>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Superman>," Crumb groused <timidly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <caught> the paper against his thigh. "<Oh>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <eyeball>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <seething> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <perky> <toe>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <fake> package wrapped in <pot-bellied pigs>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <skipping> <windows> from <the Baltic Sea>?"

"You could always <eat> them with <Molly Green>," Gary suggested <cautiously>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <tiny>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <beautiful> <shoehorn>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <smelly> <Twinkies>, and they both enjoyed the <slimy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <87,560.341592> <fluffy> children from runaway <pickle juice>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 19
by Ann

His <puckish> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <five> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Stuffed bunnies that dance to "Splish, Splash"> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <irritating> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <maddeningly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <screech>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <destroyed> under Gary.

"Holy <eggs>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Wonder Woman>," Crumb groused <lovely>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <smashed> the paper against his thigh. "<Yee-ouch>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <heroic> <teddy bear>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <cuddly> package wrapped in <strawberries>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <red> <papers> from <Peking>?"

"You could always <peel> them for <Brigatti>," Gary suggested <jauntily>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <sleek>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted an <attractive> <feline>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <Chuck-like> <sushi>, and they both enjoyed the <raw> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <666> <early> children from a runaway <edition>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 20
by Shana

His <diplomatic> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <42> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Slinkies> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <chunky> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <clumsily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <whomp>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <coughed> under Gary.

"Holy <feedbags>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Green Hornet>," Crumb groused <poutingly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <dived> the paper against his thigh. "<OUCH>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <earlobe>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <fuzzy> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <demented> <watermelon>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <devious> package wrapped in <candleholders>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <lengthy> <toenails> from <Bizmark>?"

"You could always <slide> them to <Brigatti>," Gary suggested <carelessly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <scaly>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <clammy> <toadstool>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <miniscule> <gnocci>, and they both enjoyed the <brisk> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <348> <goofy> children from a runaway <dutch oven>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 21
by Juanita

His <strange> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <14> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <teddy bears> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <purple> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <quickly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <boom>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <drunk> under Gary.

"Holy <horses>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Batman>," Crumb groused <suddenly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <fell> the paper against his thigh. "<Great>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <knee>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <grouchy> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <simple> <cockroach>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <green> package wrapped in <sunflowers>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <dangerous> <cars> from <Antarctica>?"

"You could always <freeze> them for <Detective Armstrong>," Gary suggested <barely>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <long>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <polka-dotted> <dog>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <funny> <crabcakes>, and they both enjoyed the <cute> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <76> <intelligent> children from a runaway <garbage can>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 22
by Abby

His <green> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <4> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <bears> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <sunny> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <mischieviously> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <ping>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <helped> under Gary.

"Holy <cars>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Superman>," Crumb groused <happily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <stopped> the paper against his thigh. "<WHOA>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <silly> <park>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <creative> package wrapped in <dogs>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <tall> <lights> from <Detroit>?"

"You could always <fast> them to <Crumb>," Gary suggested <foolishly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <collapsed>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <wide> <cat>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <quiet> <pizza>, and they both enjoyed the <nice> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <7> <fun> children from a runaway <bar>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 23
by Amy

His <cheerful> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <12> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <pin-ball machines> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <funny> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <sleepily> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <POP>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <dreamed> under Gary.

"Holy <birds>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Harry Potter>," Crumb groused <wishfully>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <hoped> the paper against his thigh. "<Wow>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <happy> <girl>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <red> package wrapped in <wheelbarrows>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <rumpled> <birds> from <Hickory>?"

"You could always <run> them to <Meredith>," Gary suggested <quickly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <cheerful>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <grumpy> <paper>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <crooked> <bananas>, and they both enjoyed the <doubtful> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <8> <faithful> children from a runaway <tavern>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 24
by Maryilee

His <gorgeous> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <324> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <sit and spins> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <hairy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <tremendously> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <burp>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <eaten> under Gary.

"Holy <cows>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Aquaman>," Crumb groused <crookedly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <slept> the paper against his thigh. "<D'oh>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <squishy> <Cheeto>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with an <orange> package wrapped in <bows>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <pink> <ants> from <the Amazon rainforest>?"

"You could always <fritter> them to <Molly Green>," Gary suggested <frivolously>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <sunny>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <yellow> <sun>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <hot> <chili>, and they both enjoyed the <spicy> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <22> <sick> children from runaway <vomit>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 25
by scifan

His <voluptuous> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <49> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Lincoln Logs> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <gnarled> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <resolutely> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <splat>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <severed> under Gary.

"Holy <penguins>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Wolverine>," Crumb groused <haphazardly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <intubated> the paper against his thigh. "<Frell>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <elbow>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <primordial> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <compulsory> <gimmick>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <magnanimous> package wrapped in <peanuts>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <quirky> <otters> from <Flatbush>?"

"You could always <shampoo> them for <Armstrong>," Gary suggested <minutely>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <double>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted <waterlogged> <incense>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <flippant> <blueberry muffins>, and they both enjoyed the <subliminal> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <43,322> <asymmetrical> children from a runaway <dipstick>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 26
by KuteKitty213

His <red> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <9> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <bikes> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <hot> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <quietly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <thump>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <jumped> under Gary.

"Holy <geese>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Batman>," Crumb groused <hastily>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <drove> the paper against his thigh. "<Yikes>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <bright> <seed>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with an <annoying> package wrapped in <teachers>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <sick> <carpets> from <Timbucktu>?"

"You could always <painful> them to <Brigatti>," Gary suggested <softly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <striped>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <blue> <cabinet>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <spicy> <chocolate>, and they both enjoyed the <milky> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <616> <cute> children from a runaway <boy>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 27
by Karen

His <messy> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <10> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Etch-A-Sketches> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <cold> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <hurriedly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <wham!>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <run> under Gary.

"Holy <kids>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <The Flash>," Crumb groused <carefully>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <talked> to the paper against his thigh. "<Oh boy>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Don't worry," Crumb told him. "I know exactly what she wants." Checking to make sure no one was watching he whispered his idea into Gary's <mouth>. "Oh, c'mon, *every* woman wants one!" he insisted when Gary flashed him a <hot> look.

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has an <unknown> <cop>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <large> package wrapped in <drinks>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <wet> <towels> from <San Diego>?"

"You could always <leap> them to <Brigatti>," Gary suggested <slowly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <clever>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <confused> <woman>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <impatient> <doughnuts>, and they both enjoyed the <early> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <13> <strange> children from a runaway <building>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 28
by Alyssa

His <clever> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <89.56> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <wheeny whistles> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <spiffy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <stupidly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <splat>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <knawed> under Gary.

"Holy <pigs>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Captain Underpants>," Crumb groused <annoyingly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <killed> the paper against his thigh. "<Dang Nabit>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <shiny> <ugly>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <dead> package wrapped in <computers>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <swift> <characters> from <Antarctica>?"

"You could always <Macgyver> them to <Henry>," Gary suggested <lazily>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <bored>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <cute> <hamster>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <squeaky> <gnocci>, and they both enjoyed the <fat> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <seven hundred million> <sexy> children from runaway <marshmallow peeps>.

But that's a story for another day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Very EE Birthday

# 29
by Melodey

His <grimy> newspaper clutched in his hand, Gary raced up the steps <1, 611> at a time. He had to make it to the third floor of FAO Schwartz before disaster struck!

Huffing and puffing, he dashed up to the tower of <Barbies> that was about to topple over. He didn't even look at the <hairy> man who stood before it, just grabbed him in a flying tackle and pushed him <sluggishly> out of the way. The stack of toys gave way and fell to the floor with a <BOOM!!>.

"HOBSON!" yelled the man who'd been <slid> under Gary.

"Holy <frogs>!" Gary jumped to his feet. "Crumb! What are you doing here?"

"I *was* buying a birthday present for my nephew, until you showed up, <Superman>," Crumb groused <briskly>.

Gary slapped his forehead and <wished> the paper against his thigh. "<What the...?!?>! I totally forgot! Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday and I don't have a gift!"

"Well, yeah, of course you're right," Gary said, not wanting to anger the ex-cop even more, "but I think Marissa already has a <thermonuclear> <fish>. Uh, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping." Gary hurried away.

The next day, he presented Marissa with a <mindboggling> package wrapped in <crabs>. "I hope you like it," he said.

"Thank you, Gary. It has to be better than what Chuck sent," she assured him. "I mean, what am I supposed to do with a box of <dashing> <dingos> from <Germany>?"

"You could always <command> them to <Miguel Diaz>," Gary suggested <gladly>.

"Oh, Gary, it's <ethnic>!" Marissa exclaimed as she opened the box and felt the contents. "How did you know I've always wanted a <classy> <prosecutor>?"

"A little Cat told me," Gary said. He took Marissa out for a birthday lunch of <chivalrous> <spaghetti>, and they both enjoyed the <vivacious> day--despite the interruption that occurred when Gary had to save <2> <belated> children from a runaway <boat>.

But that's a story for another day!

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