Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Early Edition characters, they all sadly belong to Sony/Tristar. I'm not making any money off this story, it's just for the purpose of general entertainment. It should be pretty obvious thought, which characters are of my own creation, and please can people leave them alone, as they have taken a lot of work to create. Thankyou.

Author's Notes: The idea for this story didn't really come from anywhere special. It came from a technique I often use for ideas. I take the character and put them in different situations. This story was a real labour of love though. I wrote this over five days. In honesty, I was up in the early hours writing this. My muse would not let me sleep until it was finished, as people who spoke to me whilst this was being written will tell you. Unless you were told this, you wouldn't know it, but much of this story was influenced by music that I played whilst writing it. Much of my writing is influenced by music, as I feel that music and writing come together nicely. I knew exactly what the ending of this story was going to be as soon as I started writing it, but well, it was difficult to write, being the fan that I am. You will understand why after reading it. This was my first Early Edition fan fiction, and I must say I am fairly pleased with it. But I will now let you judge for yourself. Any comments would be apprechiated. Thankyou!

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Shadows
by Diana McKenzie
 

The last thing he felt was a sense of falling, then the cold concrete. Hard and cold, but only for a moment. Then everything went black.

******************

It was strange, but he felt at peace. The sunlight was warm on his face, and he could hear, somewhere, water gushing gently. And beneath him, the grass was soft. Grass? Not concrete? Yes, it definitely was grass, gently swaying, caressing his skin. It was so restful, just lying there. He could have stayed there forever. Then he could feel someone standing above him. Whoever it was was gently calling his name. It had to be a she. A young she. Her voice..it was beautiful. Beautiful, but insistent.

"Gary..Gary. Come on now."

Gary slowly opened his eyes, and blinked, trying to focus on the face leaning over him. After a couple of blinks he was able to see her clearly. Her figure, bent over him, with her hands resting on her knees as she leant. She was smiling at him. What a lovely looking face she had. She was a youngish girl. Her skin was smooth like porcelain, and she had large swirling eyes, dusky blue in colour. Her hair was long and fine. It cascaded gently over her shoulders, down to her waist, like a pale brown waterfall. Her figure delicate, and her short stature made Gary think she couldn’t have been older than thirteen. She held out her hand to him, and he took it. She helped him sit up, and she sat down next to him, her legs tucked under her.  Gary looked at her bewildered. Who was this girl? And when he came to think about it, where exactly was he? Apparently the confusion showed on his face, as the girl laughed gently. She picked a daisy from the grass with her slender fingers, and ran the tip of her index finger through the petals. She looked up from the flower into his face. She smiled

"I expect you’re a little confused Gary?"

He nodded, feeling unable to speak yet.

"I’m not surprised really. I would be in your place. I was, actually. My name is Alana, Gary. I’m here for a reason. I’m here to look after you, at least for a while."

Gary felt then that he could use his voice again, and he spoke to her.

"Just where am I exactly? I-I don’t remember coming here, wherever, wherever here is."

"No, you won’t remember coming here. You don’t. They never do. Or so I’m told."

The young girl’s voice was so, so, what was the word? Not sincere. Trustworthy? Gary thought it was the best description he could come up with at that time. But he wished she would just tell him where he was. He saw she was still looking at him, her pale hair and the material of her pale dress shimmying slightly with the breeze.

"So,where you are. It’s hard to describe to you Gary. So let me ask you a question. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

He opened his mouth to respond, before realising that he didn’t know. He had to think about it. So he did. Ah yes. He remembered.

"Concrete. It was cold. And, and some sort of impact?"

"Mmmhmm. Now take a moment Gary and think alright?"

Gary was if anything, slightly more confused. But he thought anyway. Some sort of impact, then,then concrete. Oh my God. He-he couldn’t be...could he?

"Alana? I’m not, I’m I’m not dead, am I?"

She spoke back quickly. "Oh, dead? No. I thought you might think that. But, no, you’re not dead Gary Hobson. But, you are in trouble. And I’m here to help you alright? Will you let me help you?"

Gary looked at her. What did she mean?

"What kind of trouble? Why do I need your help?"

"Well, when you wake up, you’re probably going to want someone there who you recognise. That’s why you’re here. To meet me. So you’ll know me when you see me again."

"Alana?"

"Yes?"

"Are-are you dead?"

"Yes. In a sense. I’ve lived my life, on earth anyway. And I’ve been waiting for you."

"For me?"

"Yes, for you. For a very long time. I only get one person to look after you see? I was lucky.. I got you." There was a pause. "So will you let me help you Gary?"

"Well...yes. I suppose you know more about what’s going on than I do. But Alana, can’t I just stay here? It’s so peaceful here."

Alana looked at him slightly sternly. "No Gary. No you can’t stay here. You’re not allowed." Then her voice softened. "It’s time to go back Gary. Are you ready?"

"I-I suppose so."

"Alright then. Just remember, I’m going to be there for you." She smiled at him softly, then she placed a hand on his chest, forcing him back down, so he was lying on the grass once again. She bent over him, and gently kissed his forehead. His surroundings started to get blurred, and he closed his eyes; they were so heavy. So tired. He could just lie there, forever.

******************

It wasn’t grass. Or concrete. This was confusing. He was lying on something slightly soft, but more firm. It was noisy here. Not terribly, but there was the not-so distant sound of squeaky footsteps, and rolling wheels. Ringing phones. Bleeps. But close to him, the sound of voices. Murmuring. There was some sort of light nearby. It wasn’t that bright, but it made his eyelids twitch. He blinked, and then there were more shuffling footsteps, and that feeling, the sixth sense was it? Someone nearby. He blinked again, and then wherever he was started swimming into focus. A ceiling? Well that wasn’t very helpful. Gary realised that he was lying in a bed. And that there was still someone next to him. He turned gently to his right. His head hurt, he realised, and he wanted to keep as still as possible. There were two people there. A man and a woman. The woman was coloured, quite attractive to look at. But she didn’t really appear to be looking at him. Was she blind? Heck he didn’t know. The man was fairly short, brown hair, lighter than the woman’s by far. They smiled at him hopefully. The man moved a little closer.

"Hey buddy. How’re you feeling?"

"You had us so worried Gary.."

"Gary?"

Gary looked around. This wasn’t right somehow.

"Where-where am I?"

The man looked a little perplexed, but smiled gently.

"Hospital Gar. You fell remember?"

He shook his head softly. "Fell? What from? Where to?"

The man laughed kindly. "One level of the multi-storey parking lot to another." He shook his head. "Only you Gary."

Well, he thought, that took care of where he was and why he was there, but there was something else bugging him. He stared at the two of them. He was disconcerted. The man looked worried.

"Gary, what’s wrong buddy?"

Gary just kept on looking at the two of them. Then the woman took her turn to ask.

"Gary, what is it?"

He found his voice. "Who-who are you two?"

******************

The two of them went very quiet. She spoke first.

"That’s not funny Gary. That’s not funny at all."

The guy just looked at him. "No Marissa. No. I don’t think he’s kidding us."

Gary just looked on at the pair. Trying to remember if he knew them or not. He couldn’t remember them. Well he knew the woman’s name was Marissa, as the man had just called her that.

"Chuck, I’m going to go and find his doctor alright?"

Her voice was low, and had a sense of urgency to it. The woman turned around and headed out of the cubicle they were in. He could hear her talking to someone outside. The man slumped into a chair next to the bed. He sighed, and looked at Gary with concern in his eyes.

"Gary, what are you telling us buddy?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are telling us the truth right?"

Gary was slightly hurt. "Why, why would I lie?"

The man, Chuck was his name? sighed. "I don’t know."

The curtain around the cubicle moved, and a man walked in, accompanied by that woman. He walked over to the bed. He stepped over to the side opposite - Chuck? Gary felt he should really try to remember the names of these people. The woman sat down on the other chair next to him.

"Mr Hobson?" The man, presumably his doctor asked him.

"Erm, I think so."

"I’ve been told you’re having a few problems remembering things. Is that right?"

"You could say that."

"Alright. Well let’s just see what you *can* remember huh?"

******************
He was asked a *lot* of questions. What was his name? What was the date? What was his hometown? When was his birthday? Where did he work? Who was the president? What state were they in? Gary was pretty sure by the look on the faces of these people, that the only one he got right was his name, and that was no great feat, because it was a stupid question to ask. They’d already told him the answer. About half way through the interrogation, he realised his ankle was hurting like crazy. Apparently he had landed on it strangely, but there was nothing that badly wrong with it. It wasn’t something he should really worry about. They seemed more concerned about what he couldn’t remember. Then they sent him for a CAT scan, and lots of other stuff. They thought maybe it might have been a concussion or something like that. But by the look on their faces, they knew what it was. Gary felt awfully alone. These people, they seemed to know him, and he felt awful that he didn’t know them, because they seemed so worried, and he couldn’t reassure them. All Gary wanted right now was someone familiar. Someone he recognised.

    He was alone in his cubicle. Those two people..Marissa and Chuck? had gone to get some coffee, and the doctors were outside. Now he just didn’t *feel* alone, he actually was. Then he felt a strangely warm feeling around his neck, like someone had their arms around him. He was being pushed slightly forwards by the sensation. He looked, and someone did have their arms around his neck. It was someone he recognised. A girl? She was sitting with her arms there, at the back of his bed, with her legs around his waist, her feet nearly together, her toes meeting each other. Her long hair was flicked in front of her, and was brushing Gary’s back…..

"Alana?"

She smiled

"Hey Gary. Thought you could use someone with you. You don’t want to be alone right now."

"You’re not kidding. So this is what you meant I suppose?"

"Yeah. You already know what they’re going to say, don’t you?"

"You-you do as well I suppose?"

"Mmmhmmm. So I don’t need to tell you. You know this time’s going to be hard right?"

He nodded slowly

"Well I want to make it as painless as it has to be. I want you to listen to Marissa and Chuck OK? They’re your friends. Trust me, they’re not gonna hurt you. Alright?"

"Alright,and I do trust you Alana."

She smiled. "I’m glad of that." She looked straight at the curtain. "Eeek Gary, people coming. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later"

"Alright." he told her sadly. He wanted her to stay. But she was gone before he could say anything. the curtain drew back, and Marissa and Chuck came in. They sat down. It was obvious everyone was slightly uncomfortable. There was definite tension in the air. It was almost a relief when the curtain moved back, and Gary’s doctor came back in. But the look on his face made Gary’s heart jump, even though he was pretty sure they all knew what he was going to say.

"Well Mr Hobson, we’ve got the results in."

"Yeah?"

"What is it Doc?" Chuck inquired.

"Well, I’m afraid it’s what we were hoping it wasn’t"

"Amnesia. That’s what it is, isn’t it?" Marissa asked. The doctor nodded.

"I’m afraid so. Though we’re still not sure how severe. You may get some recall over the next few days Mr Hobson. Or, you may get none at all. I hope that’s not the case, but we just don’t know. We’re going to ask you to stay here at least overnight, alright?"

Gary nodded. His head was still sore. Not as sore as it had been when he came in, but still pretty bad. He winced slightly. The doctor looked at him with kind eyes.

"Yeah, I thought that might be the case. We’ll give you something for that in a minute, don’t worry." He looked pointedly at Chuck. It was clear he wanted to talk to him and Marissa outside for a minute. They got up to step outside.

"We’ll be back in a minute buddy." Chuck reassured him.

******************

The three of them went outside Gary’s cubicle, a little way down the corridor.

"Oh Chuck.." Marissa started. Chuck placed his arm around her shoulder comfortingly. She turned into him. The doctor looked at the both of them.

"I’m sure this must be very upsetting for the both of you, and I’m very sorry."

Chuck shook his head. "No, don’t apologise, it’s not your fault, and it’s not his either. It ..just happened."

Marissa was surprised to hear Chuck saying that. It didn’t sound like something he’d normally come out with. But she agreed with him if anything.

"Well I’m glad to hear you say that Mr Fishman. I get the feeling that you’re both very close to Mr Hobson?"

They both nodded. He continued. "Well then it’s probably going to be in your hands after he leaves."

"What will?"

"Helping him get his memory back."

******************
 

The curtain came open again, and Marissa and Chuck came back in again. Marissa could have sworn she had heard Gary talking to somebody before they had come in, but she hadn’t heard anyone come out, and Chuck hadn’t acknowledged anyone else’s presence. She must just have misheard. Or maybe Gary had been muttering to himself. It was possible. She turned in Gary’s direction.

"Look Gary, we’ve got to go now, they’re throwing us out for the night."

"We’ll come and see you tomorrow OK buddy?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Marissa came over, and gave him a quick hug. The two of them left. Once more he was alone. Then someone came and moved him from his current place into a room. He lay back on his pillow. He was so tired. But he felt so, so abandoned. Abandoned by himself, and he was very aware of being *by* himself.

"Hey, hey Gary, don’t feel bad."

It was Alana. She was lying there with him on his bed. She had nestled herself up against him. Her presence was comforting.
She came and stroked his face.

"We’ll get through this. Don’t worry."

Strangely, he couldn’t feel worried. Not when she was there. There like a mother when her child has just woken up from a nightmare and can’t go back to sleep. She settled back down against him, one arm draped over his chest, having positioned herself so one of Gary’s arms was around her. She snuggled near to him, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

******************

Marissa and Chuck sat at the bar in McGinty’s. They were both very aware of the huge responsibility they were going to have to undertake. If they didn’t, who else would? Gary’s parents were out of town, and Gary was the only one who where they currently were. So they weren’t going to be a lot of help. They would do it. He was their friend, and they knew they were going to. But at the back of both their minds was a small ginger tabby cat, and the burden that it brought Gary every day.
 
 

Shadows: Part Two

Gary’s eyes fluttered open. He looked down, and smiled briefly. Alana was still there. She hadn’t left him. She looked like she was still asleep, if she did sleep. She had her eyes closed anyway. She must have sensed he was awake, as her eyes opened, and they were as bright as always. She rolled over onto her stomach, and looked at him smiling.

"Good morning there. Finally decided to rejoin us all huh?"

He yawned. "What are you talking about?"

"Hey, you’re normally up a lot earlier than this."

"Huh? What time *is* it?"

"Oh a little after nine I think. You look surprised to see me Gary."

"Well, I-er I didn’t know whether you’d still be here or not."

She grinned sweetly. "Hey, I said I’d be here for you didn’t I Gary?" She shuffled a little on the bed. "Well  I had to leave a couple of times to be honest, night nurses ya know?"

Gary looked at her oddly. "You you mean, they can see you?"

She chuckled to herself. "See me? No way. The thing is, if you wake up, and I’m here, there’s a likelihood you’ll forget what’s going on, and talk to me. Then who’d end up looking silly?"

He smiled at the idea. "Me I suppose. But I’m glad you were here Alana."

She nodded. "I know."

"So, erm Alana? Wha-what happens next?"

"You mean with you and your memory, or with us?"

"Both." he said softly.

She sat up on his bed, and tucked her legs under her. "Well with your memory, I’ve been listening to the doctors. They’re going to have some person from another department come and talk to you. They’ll probably let you go tomorrow. There’s no *real* reason to keep you here. I expect they’ll get Chuck and Marissa to keep talking to you. You know, try and get you to remember something. They’re both really stubborn you know. They’ll be trying for ages yet."

She looked at his face. He was listening to her with great interest. She moved closer to him.

"As for us..well" She reached forward and gently stroked his face. He was coming to love that. It was very comforting. "I’ll be here for as long as you need me Gary. You don’t need to worry about me disappearing any time soon."

She laid her head on Gary’s shoulder. He was just about to wrap his arms around her when ironically, she vanished, and the door to his room was opened. A nurse came in with a breakfast tray.

"Morning Mr. Hobson. Breakfast?"

"Yeah, whatever." She placed the tray on his little table that drew over his bed, and stood there. Gary looked at her.

"I’m not leaving till you start eating, understand?"

Gary sighed, and picked up a piece of toast which looked like chipboard. It felt like it too, and yeah, it tasted like it. The corners the nurses mouth twitched into a smile.

"Someone will be coming up to see you sometime soon after breakfast Mr Hobson alright?"

Gary screwed up his nose at the toast, and he could almost hear Alana laughing. "Yeah, sure"

The nurse stifled a laugh. "Yeah I know it’s not exactly gourmet, but it’s food. We provide, you eat, get it?"

"Yeah."

"You know your friends’ll be here in a little while as well right? You remember them?"

Gary looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"I remember them from last night, if that’s what you mean. I’m not stupid remember."

"I know. I’m sorry if I sounded patronising Mr Hobson. Doctor’s orders you know."

"I beg your pardon?" Gary was puzzled. What was she on about?

"Oh, you know. We’ve all got to try and get you to remember something if possible." She shook her head. "But in all honesty Mr Hobson, I think you should just take your time."

Gary was just about to open his mouth and say that he wanted to get his memory back as quickly as possible so he could get out of here. But then he had the mental image of Alana’s dusky eyes, and he wondered if he would ever see her again if he got his memory back. Well, she had said that she’d be there for however long he needed her. Maybe he would need her afterwards. Maybe. But he did want his memory back. It felt strange, not remembering anything. His thoughts were interrupted by the nurse calling him.

"Hey, that toast’s not just for decorating your hand you know."

He sighed and took another bite of it. Man it was disgusting. He hoped his own cooking wasn’t this bad. The nurse nodded approvingly, then turned to leave. She left the room, and after taking one last bite of the thing they passed off as toast, then plonked it back down onto the tray. He lay back and looked around for Alana. But….she wasn’t there. He bent over the side of his bed and looked underneath, in case she was playing some strange game with him.

"Alana?..Alana where are you?"

He couldn’t see her anywhere, and he pulled his head up from under the bed. It was just as well really, as immediately afterwards the door opened, and Marissa and Chuck from yesterday walked in. He pushed his table aside, and their presence, he realised must explain Alana’s absence. Gary smiled briefly at the two of them. He couldn’t be rude to them, but they made him feel kind of uncomfortable. He knew they didn’t mean to make him feel that way, so he kept quiet.

"Hi Gary." Marissa said, almost cautiously.

"Hi Marissa,Chuck."

"Morning buddy. How’s it going?"

"Oh not too bad. They make you eat chipboard, but hey, that’s that’s just the way it goes huh?"

Chuck raised an eyebrow and gave a half-hearted laugh. At least he was making the effort to be sociable, Chuck thought. He knew if it was him, he’d be as scared as hell about what was going on. Then Chuck took a moment to really look at his friend. His face looked relatively calm, and he looked fairly collected, but, with Gary you could never really tell. Often he was very, very good at hiding what he was really feeling, and the thought that he could be doing it now worried Chuck. But he couldn’t continue that train of thought any longer. The door opened once again, and some other doctor came in, a woman this time, with curling auburn hair. Chuck’s eyes started bulging…Mama. Then he shook that off. Now was not the time for it. His friend needed him. He noticed that the doctor was carrying a pair of crutches. She smiled at the three of them, and set them down next to Gary’s bed.

"Hi. I’m Dr McAlaster. Those are for you later Mr Hobson." She turned to Marissa and Chuck. "Mr Fishman and Miss Clark? I believe we spoke on the phone last night?"

Marissa nodded. "We’re ready Doctor."

She smiled at Marissa. "Alright then. I’ll leave you to it for a while, but I’ll be back later."

Marissa sat down on one of the horrible moulded plastic chairs that this particular hospital provided. Chuck was still standing, leaning against the wall. Dr McAlaster walked past him on her way out.

"Good luck" she whispered to him. He nodded at her in acknowledgement. She left, and he sat down himself. Marissa took a deep breath, and then started to talk. Heck, they were both nervous. It felt so weird, trying to teach a person about themself, about what kind of person they were, and giving them a crash-course in their own history.

"OK, Gary, I know this is going to feel weird for you, but it feels weird for us too. We do want to help you you know?"

"Yeah, I I know."

"You just have to trust us. We’re your friends. We’re not going to tell you lies. Alright?"

"Yeah, that’s fine Marissa."

So over the next couple of hours, Chuck and Marissa took turns in telling him facts about himself. But it wasn’t like he was re-discovering himself. To Gary it was like an extended history lesson. Though he did manage to take in a few facts about himself. Apparently his name was Gary Hobson, he lived there in Chicago. His hometown was Hickory, Indiana. His parents were Lois and Bernie Hobson. He used to be a stockbroker, but now he owned a bar called McGinty’s, which the three of them ran together, and he lived in the loft conversion above the building.

    Though Gary tried to look interested, and tried to look like these facts meant something to him, they meant nothing really, and he just wasn’t interested. He felt like there was something missing from what they were telling him, something big. Was he married or something? Did he have kids? No, he doubted that. If he was a husband or a father, where were his wife and kids? So what were the two of them not telling him?

******************

"So, you can go home this afternoon then?"

The same nurse that had brought his breakfast this morning was back again. This time she came unarmed. No food/hardware. She carried on changing the bandage on his ankle. She’d brought him his clothes this time. He looked through them. Jeans, blue sweatshirt, black leather jacket. Nice enough clothes he supposed. Then he realised she was looking at him again.

"What? Oh oh yes, they’ve told me I can go then. As long as Chuck and Marissa keep on at me. Which, if the past few hours are any example, they they will be doing."

The nurse laughed, and smiled at him. "I have no doubt. OK, your ankle’s all set there. Here take these," with that she passed him his crutches, "and your clothes, and get changed. Believe me that hospital gown is *not* your colour"

He stared at her as she smirked at him. He took his crutches and headed towards the bathroom. Man it felt good to get out of people’s sight, and just be alone for a few moments. He looked in the mirror, at his face. It wasn’t a bad face, he told himself. But that nurse was right. The gown was *not* his colour. He let the gown slip to the floor, and then reached inside the bag for his trousers. He felt the texture of the denim, and pulled them out. He carefully slipped the trouser leg over his injured ankle, but was a bit more brisk when it came to putting the rest of his clothes on. Maybe, he thought, maybe putting some of my own clothes will help me remember? Probably not, but there was nothing lost by trying.
    Gary picked up his crutches again, and headed out of the bathroom. Chuck was standing there.

"Good news buddy. They’ve just told me you can go *now* if you want."

There was a long silence, as if Chuck expected him to say something.

"OK then. You ready to go?"

Gary sighed, and started heading towards the door. Chuck raised an eyebrow.

"Alright. I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then I  suppose

******************

The elevator doors opened, and Marissa was waiting for the both of them in the reception area. She heard the doors part, and walked towards them.

"Chuck?"

"Yeah it’s me Marissa."

"Are you two ready to go?"

"Yeah. Come on Gar, we’ve got the van outside." Gary looked blankly at him, but neither of them said anything. It wasn’t important.

It was fairly difficult getting into the van on crutches, but Gary managed it. He just sat there quietly as Chuck drove. He couldn’t think of anything to say to him or Marissa. Then he looked down and saw her. It was Alana, crouched down before him, her hands on his knees. He opened his mouth, but she gestured to Chuck and Marissa, and placed a finger to her lips. Though he couldn’t talk to her, Gary was glad Alana was there. He knew she hadn’t gone then. And he was thankful.

The van pulled into an alley next to a fairly large red-bricked building. Gary had managed to catch the name as they had started parking. "McGinty’s" The bar the three of them apparently ran, and the bar he apparently owned.

"Here we go Gar, McGinty’s. Home sweet home."

But to Gary, there was nothing sweet about it. And McGinty’s was no home. None that he could remember. And with the continuous nagging feeling that something was being kept from him, Gary wasn’t sure he wanted to remember it.
 
 

Shadows: Part Three
 

Gary looked around him. He’d been told this was where he lived. In this loft conversion. It was decent enough he supposed. He must like it, otherwise why would he still be living there? He sighed, and held his head in his hands. Marissa and Chuck had gone down into the bar for a while. He ran his fingers through his hair. This place..it meant nothing to him. It used to be his home, or so he was told, but now, it, it was just a building! It was like being in  a stranger’s house. You know it’s a home, their home, and you feel out of place. Just like Gary did with this whole situation.

"Right, that’s enough. I can’t leave you any longer."
 
Gary’s eyes brightened at the sound of her voice, and he glanced next to him, she had joined him in sitting on the bed.

"Alana" He said, acknowledging her presence.

"Hey there. Miss me?"

"Of course."

Gary was about to continue speaking, when he realised something. He *had* missed her. Well, what else could you expect? He asked himself. She was the only familiar thing in these formally known, but now alien, surroundings.

"So, how do you think it’s going Gary?"

"Going?" he looked at her, unsure of what she meant for a moment, but then it struck him. He felt a little foolish. "Oh right. Not too bad I suppose. They’ve told me lots of interesting things about Gary Hobson. But.."

His voice trailed off.

"But what Gary? What is it?"

"Well. A couple of things that each of them said, they didn’t sound right. Especially some things that Chuck said. Like they weren’t telling me what was real. And there’s something else."

"What?"

"Well, maybe you can tell me Alana. What aren’t they telling me? The big thing? I can tell they’re holding back."

Alana sighed, and looked at him kindly.

"I do know what it is they’re not telling you Gary, but I can’t tell you. That’s not my job." She paused to think for a moment. "But maybe..maybe I can point you in the right direction."

Something lit up in her eyes, and she took Gary’s hand.

"Come with Gary. Come on."

The two of them stood, and Gary headed towards the door slowly. He hobbled down the stairs, and was almost at the bottom, when he heard voices through the closed door of the office. He stopped where he thought his silhouette wouldn’t be seen, and listened to what was being said behind the frosted glass.

"When are we going to tell him Chuck?"

"About what?"

"You *know* about what Chuck!"

There were footsteps, and it sounded a little like someone was pacing. There was a pause, before one of them spoke again.

"Do-do we really *have* to tell him about it?" Chuck’s voice asked. He sounded very dubious about what he was saying. This conversation was intriguing. The tone in Marissa’s voice changed when she spoke again. She sounded highly annoyed, almost angry at what Chuck had just said.

"Chuck, please tell me I didn’t hear you say that?"

"Yeah ya did. Do we have to tell him about it?"

"Chuck of course we do!" She said, exasperated. "If we take it away, he’ll never be the same!"

Chuck’s voice dropped to a lower pitch, and was then very forceful.

"Yeah Marissa, you’re damn right. He’ll never be the same. And in all honesty, I don’t think it would be a bad thing."

"Chuck, if we don’t tell him, what’s going to happen to all the people out there that depend on him?"

That did it. Chuck started yelling, but he pitched it just right so that Marissa would feel the effect, but the patrons in the bar wouldn’t hear.

"All the people who depend on him! What about Gary himself huh Marissa? That damn thing’s nearly taken him, oh I’ve stopped counting how many times! I told you right at the start, that it was out to get Gary, and what, Marissa, you’re still not convinced?! It’s taken his memory away, and you’re still not convinced that it’s got it in for him?"

Gary was totally confused, as he stood there. Alana squeezed his hand reassuringly, and placed a finger to his lips, urging him to continue listening.

"The way I see it, we don’t tell him about all the terrible things that’ve happened to him, and we go one stop further, and don’t tell him about that damned paper and that bloody cat!"

*Paper*? *Cat*? What the hell?

"We let him have his life back Marissa! We let him have it!"

There was a long, pregnant pause in the office. Chuck had apparently finished his outburst, and was waiting for Marissa’s response. She sighed.

"If we take the paper away from Gary, we’re doing the wrong thing. It’s still his Chuck."

"Well have you seen it lately? Where’s the damn cat huh?"

"I don’t know Chuck, and I’m not going to try and understand it. But if we take the paper away, we’re taking Gary’s future away from him. And if we don’t tell him about what’s happened to him in the past because of it, we’re taking away his past. Suffering makes a person Chuck."

"Then Gary’s had enough for two people Marissa. You know that."

"Yes, I do. But God moves in mysterious ways Chuck, and I’m not about to interfere."

"God?! What has God got to do with this Marissa?"

"God’s got everything to do with it Chuck."

"Oh how do you figure that Marissa? Where was God when Gary almost froze to death? Where was God when he was hit by that car? Where, where was God Marissa when Gary was stuck with that creep Marley? WHERE WAS GOD MARISSA? WHERE WAS GOD!? Where is God now? If God is here, how come I can’t stop hating that damn paper, and can’t stop disagreeing with everything you say?"

When Marissa replied, her voice was soft, and Gary had to strain to hear it.

"I don’t know Chuck, I don’t know why those things had to happen, but there had to be a reason, you *know* there had to be. And whether you believe it or not Chuck, God’s always there. That’s what I’ve always believed, and if you don’t want to believe it, let me believe it for you."

"Marissa I-"

Gary couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t put up with just listening. He opened the door, and came into the office. Chuck and Marissa turned immediately to his direction.

"Gary? Is that you?"

"Yeah it’s me Marissa."

Chuck bit on his lip. How long had he been standing outside the office for? How much of that conver- no, argument had he heard? Chuck hoped it wasn’t a lot. He still believed that Gary’s life would be better off without the paper. Chuck watched Gary as he sat down in one of the chairs, and leaned his crutches against the desk.

"I know you’re both holding something back from me. What is it? What’s this, this paper thing?"

******************

That tense silence was back again. Marissa tapped her fingers against her cane, and Chuck’s gaze was bouncing around the office. The floor, the desk, Marissa,just not at him.

"Well, who’s going to tell me? You, you were both so interested in telling me things about myself before, why-why does it have to stop now huh?" There was more silence. "Come on."

Marissa quickly licked her dry lips. "Gary?"

"Yeah?"

"When.." she started to say something, but then shook her head, and started differently. "If I were to tell you something about your life, would you believe me..no matter *how* strange it seemed?"

Gary looked at her. "Well, I suppose I’d have to, wouldn’t I? You know more about whatever it is than I do."

Marissa nodded. "Alright. Gary, what if I told you that you-"

She didn’t get any further than that. "Marissa, *don’t*. What is it going to achieve?"

"*Chuck* just trust me, it’s better this way."

"Just let her talk Chuck, *I* want to know, and whatever this is, it’s to do with *my* life"

Chuck looked at him wide-eyed, but just shook his head, and stepped back so he was standing against the wall. Marissa looked back roughly in Gary’s direction.

"Gary, what would you say if I told you, if I told you that you got tomorrow’s news today?"

There was at least an empty thirty seconds. Then the corners of Gary’s mouth curled up into a smile.

"What would I say? I’d say you were crazy Marissa. That’s completely insane."

She shook her head. "No, it’s not crazy Gary. You *do* get tomorrow’s news. In a paper."

Gary just laughed. She had to be kidding him. Tomorrow’s newspaper? That was just about the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. And he told her so.

"Well, Gary, I probably wouldn’t believe it either, if I was in your place. But you’ll understand tomorrow."

Gary grinned, and took hold of his crutches. "This is all very entertaining Marissa. But I’m sorry, I really don’t believe you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m-I’m going to head upstairs. Goodnight."

"Goodnight then."

Gary headed up the stairs, and he could have sworn as he left, he had heard Marissa say something to him about saying hello to a cat.

******************

Gary opened the door to his loft, and thankfully found Alana there. She glanced at him with interest.

"So, how did it go?"

Gary shut the door behind him, and sat down on the couch.

"With Chuck and Marissa?" She nodded at him. "Alana, that has to be the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. It sounds like something out of a child’s comic book. That sort of thing just can’t happen in real life!"

"You’d be surprised Gary."

He looked at her strangely. "Alana, are you seriously telling me that I *do* get this, this magic paper?"

"Would you believe me if I did?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Maybe.. I don’t know Alana."

"Well, why don’t you just see what tomorrow will bring huh?"

Yeah, he thought. That was a good idea. He looked at the alarm clock beside the bed. It said it was 11pm. He thought he’d go to sleep, forget about everything for a little while.

******************

Marissa hung her head. This was gonna be harder than she thought. But, did she really expect Gary to believe her? She supposed it was a bit much to ask. She could hear Chuck still walking around in the office.

"Chuck? Stop pacing. Please?"

"That’s it Marissa. I’ve had enough."

Chuck’s footsteps stopped pacing, and she heard him open a drawer, and take something out. He walked over to the desk where she knew the phone was.

"Chuck, what’s it? Who are you calling?"

He had started flicking through some pages. She guessed it was an address book. Then he stopped, and started punching in numbers.

"Chuck?"

"Gary’s parents. I have a feeling we’re gonna need them before long."

"But Chuck, Gary told us last week that they were out of town!"

"So? That doesn’t mean we can’t leave them a message. They’ve got to come home sooner or later."

The phone began to ring, and then Chuck heard Lois Hobson’s voice on the answer-phone.

"Hello, this is Lois and Bernie Hobson. We’re not home, but we would love to hear from you, so, leave a message."

 There were then a few short beeps, apparently there had already been a lot of messages. Chuck hoped there would be room left on the tape. One long beep signified that there was, and Chuck was quick in leaving his message, unsure of how much tape he had at his disposal.

"Hey Lois, hey Bernie. This is Chuck here. I know you’re not there at the moment, but when you get back could you give me a call as soon as possible? Alright, Bye."

He replaced the receiver in the cradle, and sighed. He was begging Gary’s mom and dad to come home as soon as possible.

And however many miles away, Lois and Bernie Hobson were in their car, heading back to Hickory.

******************

Upstairs, Gary lay on the bed in some sweats he had found in a drawer. After much searching, he thought. He now definitely felt as though he was in a stranger’s home. He’d been very worried about uncovering something he shouldn’t have. Which was stupid, this was all apparently his stuff. Alana came over, and perched on the edge of the bed.

"Come on Gary, get *into* bed will you?"

"Yeah, alright." He flicked up his covers, and crawled underneath them. He looked at Alana pointedly. She smiled.

"I don’t get cold, but, alright."

She slipped under his covers, and moved up close to him. Gary slept soundly with her in his arms.

**

The next thing he heard was the radio.

"Good morning Chicago, it’s 6:30am, and it’s a cold one today. Winter is most definitely upon us!"

Gary automatically slapped his hand down on the clock, and the woman’s annoyingly chipper voice ceased. Alana looked up at him

"Morning Gary."
"Morni-"

‘Meow’ SLAP.

Gary looked around the room, then back down at Alana.

"Erm, Alana? What, what was that?"

She had a cross between a nervous look and a smile on her face.

"Why don’t you go and see?"

Gary flung his covers back, and grabbed one of his crutches. He didn’t think that he was going to need both today. He headed towards his door, and opened it. He looked down..a ginger tabby cat, sitting on...a newspaper? Alright, that was a strange picture. He’d always thought it was dogs that brought newspapers. But, no that wasn’t the only thing wrong with the picture. What was the newspaper doing there anyway? He bent over and picked it up. The cat waltzed gracefully through the door, and curled up on the couch. Gary looked at the date...no way? His eyes grew wide. That couldn’t be right could it?

"Let me guess," came Alana’s voice from the bed. "tomorrow’s newspaper?"

Gary looked at it, stunned. Then he smiled.

"Nice try Marissa. You know she almost had me there for a minute Alana."

"But Marissa’s not here yet Gary. No-one is. The bar’s still locked up."

"What?"

"There’s no one down there Gary. Come on, come over here."

Still completely confused, Gary went over to her, and sat beside her.

"Was-was she telling me the truth Alana?"

Alana just smiled.

"But this, this can’t be real..can it?"

"What do you think?"

"I’m not sure. It could still be a joke, couldn’t it? Some, some big joke?"

Alana sighed. "No, Gary, no it’s not. This *is* tomorrow’s paper."

He just looked at her. "You’ve been getting it for about two years now Gary."

He tried to let this sink in. It was a lot to take at six thirty. "You have got to be kidding me? What do I do with it?"

"Well what you used to do was go and help people. Why do you think you were in that parking lot in the first place?"

He was about to say ‘parking’ until he realised he couldn’t remember seeing a car anywhere near the bar last night.

"I-I don’t know. What *was* I doing there?"

"Stopping a woman from being hit by a car driving around the lot too quickly. You see, you felt you couldn’t just let her get hurt, when you had the information to help her."

"It sounds to me like I was a bit of an idiot."

"No Gary, you weren’t and aren’t an idiot. It’s just sometimes you cared that little bit too much."

"But if I have this paper that can tell me the future, what am I doing living in this little loft? I could be rich, I could do anything with it that I wanted."

"That’s what Chuck has always told you. He never understood why you didn’t just use the paper to make your own life better. But you wouldn’t take that. You didn’t think it was right."

"Now I really think I sound like an idiot."

Alana shook her head, sending strands of her fine hair out in the air. "No Gary Hobson, you’re no idiot." She paused. "Look, why don’t you just try the paper today, see if anything comes back to you that way? You might realise what I’m saying to you is true."

He sighed, and looked at her. At her sweet face, and her gentle eyes. He couldn’t say no to her.

"Oh alright. For you."

She smiled at him, and stroked his face.

"Like I thought. You’re a good man Gary Hobson."

******************

Gary sat in the McGinty’s office, flicking through the pages of the paper, when he heard the door open, and saw Marissa enter. She raised an eyebrow.

"Gary?" She didn’t seem sure in the slightest whether it was him there or not.

"Yeah it’s me. Morning."

"Yeah, morning. What are you doing Gary?"

"Well you know Marissa, the funniest thing happened this morning. This cat arrived, and hey, you’d never guess what it had brought with it..oh yeah it was a newspaper"

The undertones of sarcasm were all too apparent, but Marissa ignored it. He had the paper. Maybe now he would believe her. If he didn’t, Marissa knew that something was going to go wrong. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did. She had to get Gary back out there, doing his usual good deeds. It felt strange to admit it, but she felt better when Gary was out there every day doing the paper’s bidding than when he was sat here doing nothing. Not because she liked the knowledge that her friend was in danger, but when he wasn’t out there it was as though there was a part of him missing.

"So, are you going to be going, you know, out there?"

"Saving the world? I suppose so. Do I really have any choice?"

He turned the page, having not yet found anything warranting attention. There. That was the incident he was supposed to prevent. It wasn’t a large article, but then, what did people consider important in this world?

"Child dies on broken playground equipment," he read the article out to himself. "Jamie Harrison, aged five died in the playground near the Annie G Warren Grammar School, at 11am yesterday, after a broken climbing frame collapsed whilst he was playing on it.  The child suffered head injuries and died in hospital shortly afterwards."

"That’s awful Gary. What time is it?"

Gary looked at the clock on the wall. "Quarter past nine."

"Well the Annie G Warren School’s quite far off. You’re going to have head off soon."

"Yeah I guess so."

He was about to ask Marissa how he should get there, but he never started. The office door opened. It was Chuck. He glanced down at the paper, and then at Marissa.

"Marissa, could I have a word with Gary please?"

"Uh, sure Chuck. I’ll be in the bar."  She grabbed her cane, and headed into the bar. Chuck pulled a chair next to where Gary was sitting.

"So, it came then buddy?"

"Yeah"

Chuck glanced over his shoulder, and read the article about the playground. He looked at Gary.

"Are you gonna go?

Gary shrugged. "I don’t really seem to have any choice do I?"

"Yeah you do buddy. You don’t have to do anything with the paper. You could just forget about the paper."

"How could I forget about it Chuck? I know that little kid’s gonna die if I don’t so something!"

Chuck sighed. "Gar. If you want to go out and save people, that’s your choice buddy. I know Marissa wants to tell you about the things that have happened to you because of the paper, but I’m not sure I do. I’ll just tell you that this paper, well since you’ve had it, you’ve not been the same man Gar. You’re always off trying to save someone, and I know this sounds harsh buddy, but you really have no life outside of the paper."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "Look Gar, I know everything’s bound to be confusing at the moment. Do you really want to add the paper on top of it? I suppose you could call this a loss buddy, but it could be a second chance. A chance to get away from the paper, and go back to a normal life."

Gary studied Chuck’s face. He seemed sincere. "Look Chuck. I’m going to try, whatever you want to call the paper’s work, for today. After that, I’ll, I’ll probably know what I’m going to do."

Chuck nodded. "Alright buddy. I’ll see you later." Chuck slapped a hand down on Gary’s shoulder, then left to go into the bar.

Gary pulled his leather jacket off the back of the chair he was sitting on, and slipped it on. Grabbing his crutch, Gary stood up. He snatched at the paper, rolled it up and placed it in his back pocket. Leaning on the crutch, Gary headed out through the back exit of the building, to avoid Chuck and Marissa. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, he just wanted to get out of McGinty’s with as little recognition as possible

******************

He leaned back in his seat. He had just managed to catch the El Train before it had left. Foolishly, he’d forgotten to ask for those directions, so he had to stop and ask someone. But it didn’t matter really. He’d be there in a while. He had plenty of time to get to that playground. Gary’s fingers turned the remaining pages of the paper. The child’s death seemed to be the worst thing in the paper. There was nothing else that was really worth preventing.
Man it was cold on the train. Gary pulled the collar of his jacket closer to his neck, in an attempt to keep it warm. He shivered. This whole tomorrow’s paper thing still felt really weird. But then again, the whole "Gary Hobson" persona he had acquired still felt weird as well. So, perhaps the paper would start feeling a bit more natural soon.

******************

The car pulled into the driveway. They were home again. He stopped the car, and they both sighed. He got out and opened the trunk of the car, as she got out the house key, and went to open the door. They went inside, and he placed their bags down.

"Back home again huh Bernie?"

Lois Hobson turned to her husband, who gave her a small kiss. They certainly were back home again. The two of them had been to visit one of their friends in New York for the week. It had been wonderful. Much as the two of them Hickory, it was nice to get away for a little while.

"Come on Lois. We should go and check the machine before it explodes."

He smiled at her, and she laughed softly, as they walked to the phone, where the little red light was blinking furiously at them. Lois pulled the notepad that was always there next to her, and picked up the pencil. She pressed the playback button. Most of the messages weren’t of any real interest. A couple of people who’d forgot they were going out of town, someone trying to sell vacuum cleaners..then, ah this one was interesting, a message from Gary’s friend Chuck? She wrote down what he said.

"Bernie?" She called him from the other side of the room. He wasn’t really paying attention to the machine. He knew Lois would give him any messages that were important.

"Bernie, there’s a message here from Chuck. He wants us to call him back. He sounded, well like this was really important."

Bernie looked at his wife. "You want me to call him?"

She shook her head. "No, it’s alright, I will." She decided to try calling McGinty’s. She tapped in the number, and waited as the phone rang out.

******************

Chuck hung the phone up. That had been Gary’s mom. She and Bernie had just got back to Hickory, and had found the message he had left. She seemed very anxious. He couldn’t blame her. He’d been a little vague in his message. He had tried to delicately explain what was going on, and, just as he had expected, she told him that she and Bernie would be there probably before the end of the day. Chuck sighed. Maybe they could be of more help than he was currently being.

******************

Gary looked at his watch. 10:55am. Damn, there was only five minutes before that kid died. He looked ahead of him. Just off in the distance he could see the playground. He started moving just that little bit faster, as fast as was possible with his crutch hindering him...

He took a deep sigh of relief. He was there. The playground was empty, well almost, so it was easy enough to spot the climbing frame. It was about 20 feet away. The little boy was half way up the side of it, and Gary spotted a woman, presumably his mother, sitting on a bench a few feet away from the equipment, watching her son, but with a magazine on her lap which she was lazily flicking through at the same time. Gary realised that she was unlikely to believe him if he told her the frame was unsafe, she’d probably think he was after her or her child or something like that. So Gary wondered about how he was actually going to save the boy.

As he was watching, Gary’s eyes saw it. The metal bars on the top, weak looking, and starting to give way. He realised that it was going to happen within a few seconds, so he zoomed over there, wincing in conjunction with the hasty movement, and caught the child as he the bars gave way and he fell. The child’s mother jumped up from the bench, her magazine falling in a muddy puddle, and ran over to her son. She tore him from Gary, and held him close to her.

"Jamie! Oh my baby! Are you alright?"

The little boy nodded, and she stroked his hair. The woman then turned to Gary.

"How did you know?"

Gary hesitated. How did he know? How could he tell her? He couldn’t explain it to her. So he just shrugged.

"I I was just watching from the other side of the street, and, and I thought that the climbing frame looked unsafe, so I came over."

That had to be the lamest excuse he had ever heard. The woman stared at him, and he starting feeling like he was being examined. Her glare was definitely unfriendly, not like the friendly sound her voice had had a few moments ago.

"What? You were watching my son?! You sicko!"

She clutched her son protectively, and ran out of the playground. But just as she was about to exit, she turned around and shouted ‘pervert’ at him. Gary just stood there in the now empty playground, with the winter sun making the damp grass shine. He walked over to the bench and slumped down on it. He put his head in his hands, and he heard a sweet sympathetic sigh from next to him.

"Hi Alana." He knew it was her, even without looking.

"Hey there. You did it you know, that little boy is still alive. You should feel good about it."

"Yeah? Well how come I don’t?"

"Lack of gratitude maybe?"

"Yeah maybe. I I mean calling me a pervert? That that was uncalled for."

She nodded. "You’re right." She gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He heaved a sigh.

"Is it always like this Alana? Is that what Chuck meant?"

"Well, yes it is like this a lot of the time, but a lot of people are tremendously grateful Gary. She was just one person you know?"

Gary could almost hear Marissa’s voice in his head, asking him if he was going to let one minor incident put him off helping people. Oh he didn’t know. He glanced sideways at Alana, and then swivelled around to face her properly. Her beautiful face was coated with kindness, and though she had a young face, her eyes seemed to have the look of infinite wisdom in them. They sure didn’t look young. And it made him wonder what her real age was.

"Alana?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"I..suppose so Gary. Go on."

He paused, then looked directly at her.

"Alana, how old are you?"

She looked surprised.

"How old am I?"

"Yeah."

She smiled softly. "Gary, I am older than you could possibly imagine."

He looked at her, surprised in a way, but in a way, he had expected her to say that. "I suppose you must have been lonely, waiting for me huh?"

She looked more than surprised, more like stunned. As though no-one had ever asked her that before.

"Yes. Yes I have been lonely. But it was worth the wait Gary, even if you are a hard case to deal with. You’re a wonderful person. I feel I’ve been very, very lucky to have been given you."

"Really?"

She nodded."Mmmhmm."

"Well I think I’ve probably been lucky as well."

Alana moved closer to Gary and smiled broadly. "No-one has ever said anything like that to me before Gary, thank you."

And she was thankful. He hadn’t treated her like a child, even though she may be young in appearance. She most definitely wasn’t young. She looked at Gary’s large eyes, and he was looking at her. He was a good person to have got. She stroked his face. He smiled at her. The last time she did that, he had thought he could come to like it, but now he knew he had.

The winter wind that had made the grass glint now made her hair shine, and he then realised she had her arms around his shoulders. She leant towards him and gently kissed him with her small, rose-coloured lips. That wasn’t what he had been expecting, but after a few moments he stopped resisting. It felt right, no matter how old Alana looked.

After a time, she pulled away from him.

"Like I said, I’ve been very lucky."

**

Gary looked at her astonished. What had just happened between the two of them? She was still smiling, but she was biting her bottom lip.

"That’s probably broken every rule ever made Gary. But it was worth it."

******************

The door to McGinty’s bar opened. Chuck looked towards it, and saw them. He walked round from his current position behind the bar and walked over to Gary’s mom. He gave her a big hug. Marissa got up and went towards them

"Lois..hey Bernie"

"Hi Chuck, Marissa."

"Where is he Chuck?" Lois asked him.

"Where do you think? Out saving the world."

The two of them looked at Chuck, with shocked expressions on their faces.

"He’s, he’s *out there*? Not really knowing what’s going on?"

"Yeah."

"What was in the paper?"

Marissa took her turn. "Not much. A little boy dies on a broken climbing frame, but that was it apparently. He should be back soon."

"Let’s hope so Marissa." Bernie told her. The small group all wore similar concerned faces. It was going to be a difficult day, they could tell.
 
 

Shadows: Part Four

Gary was still trying to realise what had happened. He sat there on the bench, with her sitting next to him. She looked at him sideways.

"Gary?" she probed.

"Yeah?"

"I’m sorry."

He looked at her. "Sorry? What for?"

"Well, you don’t seem to be saying much. Did you not want that to happen?"

"No, no Alana, that’s not it. I was just, just surprised. I didn’t think that would be allowed."

"Well, I’m not really supposed to Gary, I won’t lie to you. But you were right. I had been lonely. For too long. But that’s not what I’m here for Gary, I’m here to help you while you get your memory back! I’ve been selfish!"

Gary faced her properly, and couldn’t quite believe her.

"Selfish? No, you’ve not been selfish Alana. From what I can gather off Chuck, I’ve not really had much of a life with the paper taking up all my time. You’re doing me a favour it seems."

"But I’m here to help you!"

"What if this is the help I need?"

That statement took her aback. She studied his face. He looked perfectly serious.

"So you’re not sorry it happened?"

He shook his head. "No. I’m not not sorry."

Her sweet face lit up, and her pale skin flushed a delicate pink high up on her cheeks. She reached out for his hand, and the two of them intertwined their fingers. He dropped his head slightly, and they replayed the previous moment. For that time, they were both satisfied. She could forget the many, many years that she had been lonely, and he could forget that he really knew nothing about himself, or his life. They forgot that she had the appearance of a child, and for that moment, each was all the other needed.

******************

Despite the general noises of McGinty’s, all that Marissa could hear was the ticking of the clock. It was long since past the time that Gary would have performed the rescue, and normally, she wouldn’t have worried, Gary being Gary. But of course, it was hard to say what he would do now.

    Gary’s location appeared to be on the minds of all four of the people waiting for him, but each of them were involved in their own particular thoughts about it. But then they had no more time to think them, as the door to McGinty’s opened, and Gary came in. Marissa had suggested to Mrs Hobson that she might want to not hug Gary or anything like that, but maternal instinct took over her, and she got to her feet and wrapped her arms around Gary in a large hug. Gary looked at her, this woman, and was visibly scared. Who was she? He tried to pull himself out of her hold on him, and the look on her face was one of terrible shock.

"Gary? Honey?"

How did she know his name? He looked towards Chuck, and then towards this woman, hoping that Chuck could give him an explanation. He then also noticed a man fairly close. He didn’t recognise him either. Marissa could sense what was going on, and walked towards Lois, laying a hand on her arm and bringing her back a little.

"Gary, do you know who this is?" Marissa  asked him. He studied the woman’s face, and shook his head in response to the question.

"No."

The woman just kept looking at him. If he looked closely, he could see her lower lip trembling slightly, and a tear glistened in her eye. The unknown man came and put hand on her shoulder. Chuck took a step forward and gently started to give him an explanation.

"Gar, this is Lois Hobson. Your Mom."

Gary looked at her strangely, and then glanced at the man standing next to her. If what they were telling him was true, then that would probably mean that this man was his Dad.

The man, probably guessing what Gary was thinking, nodded. Gary wondered who had called them, Chuck or Marissa. Probably Marissa, he thought, but it was an uncomfortable situation. He wanted to get out of there. Badly.

"I, erm, will you er just excuse me for a minute?" He smiled and hurriedly left McGinty’s. Lois reached out to try and stop him, but Bernie held her back.

"Gary!"

Bernie shook his head.

"No Lois, he’ll be back." She turned to face her husband.

"How,how can he not know us Bernie?"

She came up to her husband, who put his arms around her comfortingly.
"I don’t know Lois, I don’t know."

Some of the McGinty’s customers had been quietly observing this scene, and Bernie and Lois were starting to attract a lot of attention. Marissa and Chuck gently ushered the couple into the office. Hopefully Gary would come back in a while. Hopefully.

******************

Gary walked around the corner. He was surprised at how far away from McGinty’s he had managed to get in such a short time. Thinking about it, Gary realised he had probably been rude, just walking out like that. His parents hadn’t done anything wrong. He figured he’d stay out there for a while. He just needed a little space to collect his thoughts, that was all. He’d go back. Of course he would.

    He kept on walking. There was a cold breeze blowing through the streets of Chicago, but he wasn’t going to stop just because of a little cold. Gary took a couple of turns, and after a few minutes, he was a completely different part of Chicago. He didn’t mean in terms of directions, it was the atmosphere. There was a still feeling in the air. Fewer people were around. Gary decided he liked it that way at the moment. The fewer people, the less complicated his life was. The way Gary saw it, this memory problem had unwound the carpet of his life. All he was left with now was lose threads, which were almost impossible to put back together. His life had become a jigsaw where none of the pieces matched. It was all a muddle. That was clear to him.

    And that damn paper. He didn’t really want to think about that. That huge responsibility that was being thrust upon him, consuming his life, Chuck had told him. Was that what he wanted to do with the rest of his life? Did he want to spend it looking out for everyone else? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure at all.

    And then there was Alana. Gary sighed deeply. She was the one stable thing in his life. But for how long? Right from the start, she had told him she was only going to be here for a while, and that she was here to help him. Maybe she had done. Gary knew that he felt happier when she was around. But he knew that there were several large problems. The first one being Alana’s age. Gary wasn’t stupid. He realised that she only looked about thirteen, no matter how beautiful she was. However she *had* told him that she was a *lot* older than she looked. So it wasn’t your ordinary age difference was it? It looked as though he was the elder, not her. Of course, it wouldn’t look that way to anyone. That was the big problem. Alana was dead. How could Gary have a relationship with someone who had been dead for who knew how long? With someone that the rest of the world couldn’t see? He struggled to think of ways that they could make it work.

    It all hung heavily over his heart. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t he have met Alana alive, and at the right age for him to be with? She was so wonderful! She was sweet, and kind, and thoughtful, and everything Gary wanted and needed. Life wasn’t fair.

    Gary sat down on a bench on the pavement. He sat for a few minutes, mulling things over in his mind. He was so absorbed in those thoughts that he didn’t even notice a figure standing in front of him.

"Hey kid, you alright?"

Gary shifted his gaze upwards from the floor, to see an old man standing there. Gary gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah, yeah I’m fine."

The man shook his head and sat down next to him.

"No you’re not. You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders. Want to talk?"

Gary was amused. Talk? To a complete stranger? Then he remembered that was what he had been doing ever since the accident had happened - talking to strangers. Talking to one more couldn’t hurt. He positioned his head so that he could see the man better. The old man smiled at him.

"You look a little lost kid."

Gary raised an eyebrow. "I guess you could say that."

"So how are you lost?"

Gary sighed. "Well I was in this accident a coupla days ago, and I, well I lost my memory."

The old guy nodded. "I can see why that could mess you up."

"Yeah, well ever since then, the people I knew before, they they’ve been trying to push me back into my old responsibilities, and half the time I don’t know why the hell I’m doing something. And there’s one responsibility, which is a huge one."

"And you don’t know whether you want to take it on, even if you *used* to do it?"

"...Yeah."

There was a short silence, and the old man looked at Gary. "That’s not all of it is it? There’s something else. *Someone* else?"

He was very astute. Gary looked at him in surprise, but kept talking anyway.

"Yeah. It’s it’s like we’re meant to be together, but there are so many things which tell us we should be apart. Like there’s a huge age difference, and she’s not going to be around that long, and, and.."

The man held up his hand.

"Son, listen to me. Love is a tricky business. Many people run from it, because they’re afraid of their own feelings and their own hearts. But there’s one thing you need to remember when you’re dealing with love. And that is, if it feels right, follow your heart, and grab what you’re after with both hands. If it’s meant to happen, it will...Son, an age difference is only a problem if you let it be a problem. If you really love her, do whatever it takes to keep her. You can’t go far wrong."

Gary was mesmerised by what the old man was saying. The old man smiled at him.

"Anyway son, I hope it works out for you, with your memory, this responsibility, and this girl."

"Thanks, thank you so much."

"Hey, you know what some people say kid. Total strangers can be the best counsellors."

The old man walked off, and one sentence that he had said stayed fixed in his mind. ‘If you really love her, do whatever it takes to keep her.’ Gary wasn’t sure yet how that applied to him, but he knew he would work it out. He didn’t want to lose Alana, that he was sure of.

    He looked at the sky around him. Dusk had passed by without his notice, and now the velvet dark was starting to creep in. Did he really want to go back to McGinty’s yet? Did he want to go back and look at the eyes of the people who were his parents, and see the sorrow in their eyes? Sorrow which he caused by not knowing them. Shivering in his jacket, which was starting to be less and less of a barrier against the cold, Gary realised that he couldn’t stay out there all night. Eventually he’d have to go back. Even with the presence of the dark shadow hanging over his soul. He got to his feet and headed back.

******************

Gary decided go into McGinty’s using the back door. Maybe then he could avoid people for that little while longer. Unfortunately, Chuck had guessed what he was going to do, and was stood there, presumably waiting for him, when he opened the door. Gary couldn’t really put a name to the expression Chuck currently had.

"Hey Gar."

"Hey."

"You took your time buddy. Where’d you go?"

"For a walk. I I just needed time to think."

"That’s all?"

"Yeah, that’s all."

Chuck looked at Gary, and Gary wasn’t sure that Chuck believed him. Then Chuck’s gaze fell on the small brown paper bag in Gary’s hand. Then he looked at Gary.

"What’s in the bag?"

Gary suddenly remembered that he had the bag in his hand, and tightened his grip on the top of it, to keep it closed.

"Nothing important."

"No, seriously Gary, what’s in the bag?"

This guy was starting to irritate him. "Nothing that’s got anything to do with you Chuck. I’m just gonna take this upstairs."

"OK. If you say so buddy."

Gary headed up the stairs to his loft, leaving Chuck alone. He went inside, and ignored everything around him. He went over to his bed, and set the bag down on the night-stand, the contents making a heavy clunking sound as he put it there. He sighed and rubbed his temples. Time to go and face the music.

******************

He walked into the office, where he rightly assumed everyone would be. His parents were both sat on the chairs, Marissa was standing in the doorway which lead to the bar, and Chuck was leaning against the wall. His mother looked up at him, forcing a small smile onto her face. He could almost see her choking back tears. He felt a pang of guilt. His father didn’t look a whole lot better. He looked as though he were fighting back tears himself. He looked at his son.

"Hi Gary."

Gary nodded in response, and took the last vacant seat. Thankfully it was a little apart from the others. He didn’t need to be that close, the room seemed small enough already. Gary shuffled in his seat. He gripped the armrest with one of his hands. He was sure that by the end of this conversation you would be able to see indentations in it when he removed his hand. He needed something to clutch that wouldn’t try and make him remember things.

"You can clutch on to me if you want to Gary." whispered Alana’s voice in his ear. She came and sat on his lap gracefully.

"Gar, you probably want to know who called your mom and dad right?"

Gary looked at Chuck as he spoke, and nodded.

"Well..it was me. I knew that you were going to need them Gary, and you’re their son. They had a right to know."

Gary was amazingly irritated at him. He should have told him. *He* had a right to know. But he decided not to say anything. It would just make a bad situation worse. So he nodded, but threw Chuck a dirty look at the same time. Chuck apparently noticed, but shrugged it off. Gary’s mother looked at him sadly.

"Oh Gary, how did this happen? Why did it have to happen to you?"

How was he supposed to know? He’d been asking himself the same question for a while now, and he hadn’t managed to come up with an answer.

"I don’t know. I can’t give you an answer."

"So you, you don’t remember *anything*?"

Gary shook his head.

"Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all. Nothing."

"You don’t remember us, your home, ...the paper?" His father asked

Gary sighed. "No I don’t remember any of it."

Alana shifted her weight in his lap, which, Gary was sure, was partially to remind him that she was still there.

"Then why on Earth were you out dealing with something from the paper when we got here? You shouldn’t be doing that if you don’t know what you’re doing Gary!"

"Lois," Marissa said from the corner, "if Gary’s going to continue with the paper, he had to start dealing with it again as soon as possible. In some ways Gary’s in no different a position than he was when he started getting the paper in the first place."

"But Marissa, he could get even more hurt if he doesn’t remember how to deal with the items properly." She turned to Chuck, with a pleading look in her eyes. "Would you go with Gary tomorrow?"

"You know Chuck," Marissa added, "it might be a good idea. Just for a couple of days."

Gary was amazed at what these people were saying. It was like he wasn’t even there. Like he wasn’t even a real person. Gary wasn’t really listening any more, but he could hear his mother and father talking about him, the old him, and how he used to be, and how he used to act. The anger was bubbling over inside of him. He couldn’t take it anymore. Alana seemed to sense something was wrong, and looked at him.

"Gary, what’s wrong? Gary?" she whispered to him.

Gary stood up.

"You’re all making a lot of assumptions here. You all seem to think that it, it’s already been decided that I’ll carry on with the paper."

"But you will won’t you son?" Bernie asked him nervously.

"I don’t know! I don’t know whether I want to. Why should I let my life be controlled by something that I don’t even want?"

"Because that’s the sort of person you are Gary." Marissa told him. "You wouldn’t be able to live with the knowledge that you could have prevented things. You care about the people in the paper Gary."

"NO! You *think* I care. And hell maybe the old Gary that you knew did care about the paper, and was willing to be the saviour of the people, but I’m not! I’m not like him!"

"But Gar, you *are* him" Chuck said simply.

"No no, I’m not, not anymore."

Gary motioned as if to go to the door, but Lois called out to him.

"Gary honey, we want to help you! We’re not going to turn our backs on you. It’ll turn out alright. I know you’ll remember, and you’ll be back to the way you were."

"That’s just it! I don’t want to be the way he was! He had no life, he had nothing! His life was this, this paper!"

Gary pulled the paper out of his back pocket, and started tearing pages up. Those he couldn’t tear, he just threw in the rubbish. Gary headed to the door, leaving his crutch on the floor, and went up the stairs to his loft, ignoring the pain in his ankle. Alana was running after him, calling him.

"Gary, Gary what are you doing?"

Gary reached out and took her hand as he went up the stairs, but said nothing. Chuck, Marissa and Gary’s parents had started following him up the stairs. Gary slammed the door and walked over to the window. He leaned against the wall, and stared outside. Alana came up behind him, and put an arm around his waist.

"Gary?"

But Gary never got a chance to respond, as the four of them came into his loft. Gary cursed softly at himself for forgetting to lock the door. He didn’t want this anymore. He didn’t want people telling him things were going to work out, because they didn’t know that did they? Especially with that *paper* around. The word sounded dirty in his mind, the inflections bitter and sharp. He had only had that paper for a day that he could recollect, and already he hated it. He was glad the wretched thing was in pieces on the office floor, as that was what it had done to him; torn him to pieces, so it was only fair Gary reciprocated by showing the paper how it felt.

    Gary felt someone coming closer to him. He glanced briefly over his shoulder, and saw Marissa coming towards him.

"Gary, what’s going on? We can’t tell you anything if you don’t talk to us."

"Your mom’s right," Chuck added on, "we won’t turn our backs on you Gar. We just want to help you."

At that, Gary turned around, and stared at all of them. He laughed bitterly.

"You want to help me? You won’t turn your back on me?"

"No Gar, we won-"

"You’ve already turned your backs on me!" Gary jumped in before he could carry on. "You turned your backs on me the moment you knew I couldn’t remember anything!"

"Gary, what do you mean?" Marissa asked him gently.

"I’m not the same Gary, and you can’t accept that! I started off trying to be the Gary you remembered, but I’m not like him, and you just don’t get it! You don’t want me, you you want *him*!"

"Gary that’s just not true. You know it’s not true."

"Yes it is. You’ve all been telling me slightly different things, trying to make me a better son, a better friend, a better business partner, a better, oh I don’t know what you want to call a person who’s at beck and call of a newspaper twenty-four hours a day. But I correct myself, you don’t want me, I thought you wanted *him*. Your old Gary. But that, that’s not even enough to satisfy you. You’ve been trying to change all the bits you didn’t like! Trying to make the perfect Gary Hobson. Well, mission failed, you’re not succeeding."

"Gary you can’t possibly believe that." Bernie said, making it half way between a question, and half way between a statement.

"Of course I believe that, because it’s true. In fact there’s only been one person who *has* wanted the real me. And for some damn reason I can’t spend my life with her."

The others all looked at each other.

"Gary," Bernie asked his son, "who is this girl? When did you meet her?"

"I met her three days ago. Her name’s Alana, and she’s the only person in this world who actually wants *me*"

"But why haven’t we seen her Gar? We’ve been with you all these past three days. We’ve never seen her."

"You haven’t seen her," Gary said with his voice low, "because you haven’t been looking. You won’t have seen her if you’ve just been watching, because Alana is special! She’s meant for me, and I can’t be without her."

From behind him, he could see Alana looking at him gently. In front of him, he could see the others looking bewildered.

"I don’t understand what you mean Gary." Bernie told him. "How could Chuck and Marissa not have noticed her? How could we not have?"

Gary was about to start telling them, when Alana ran over to his side, and grabbed hold of him, wide-eyed with something like fear or alarm. She shook her head frantically, begging him not to say anything more.

"No Gary no, don’t tell them anything else about me. They’ll think you’re crazy Gary,please no."

He turned to her, and placed a hand on her cheek "I have to."

"You have to what Gary?"

"Tell you why you can’t see Alana. It’s because she’s dead!"

They all stood there in awe of what he had just said, wondering if he was serious, or whether he was crazy, and there was something wrong with him that no-one had seen.

"What?"

"You heard me, she’s dead, and she’s here to protect me. And I’m not even supposed to be telling you this. But I figured you needed to know. She’s the only person who’s just *been* there, and not pushed me! I don’t know what I’ll do without her when she’s gone!"

There was a silence in the loft. No-one really knew what to say to that. No-one really knew what to think.

"I just want to get away from all of this, get away from this pressure, from that paper, and that cat, and this place where can’t be with her! The only way I could be with her would be if I di-"

He cut himself off, and realised that he had missed the obvious. He walked over to his night-stand and reached inside the paper bag. Felt the cool chunky metal handle. He hadn’t really intended to use it, when he had bought it. Then he was still considering continuing with the paper, and had come to the conclusion that he might need it. But now he had thought of a better use for it. He drew it out fully, and stepped away from the bed. Chuck, Bernie and Lois all gasped. Marissa seemed confused.

"Chuck, what is it?"

"Gary’s got a gun Marissa."

"What?!"

"Didn’t you hear him Marissa? Gary’s got a gun. Gary’s checking the bullets, yep, there’s enough there."

Gary’s voice was steady and even as he walked to his previous position. Alana was tugging at his arm, trying to get the gun off him, but it was no use.

"Gary," Chuck asked, his voice shaking, "what are you gonna do with that thing?"

"What am I going to do with it? Are you serious?"

Chuck nodded uncertainly.

"Weren’t you even listening to what I said?" Gary’s eyes filled with tears which spilled from his eyes onto his cheeks. "Weren’t you even listening? I want to be away from all of this. I want to be away from all of this. I want to be with her. I want to stay with her forever. And I worked it out Chuck, I worked it out. A man told me that if I really love her, I’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to keep her. And I know what it takes….I know what it takes."

"And what *does* it take Gary?" Lois asked him carefully.

They all watched as Gary took the gun, and placed the barrel to the right side of his skull.

"This is what it takes. She’s dead. So the only way *I* can be with her is is if I’m dead too."

"No Gary no!" Lois cried at him. "No you can’t do that!"

Tears were still coming out of him, but he slipped his finger into the trigger.

"No Gary don’t, please don’t." Alana told him, still pulling at his arm. "Gary I’m begging you, don’t!"

At the same time as Alana was saying these words, Lois Hobson was saying them, unaware that Alana was saying them in stereo

"I’m sorry," Gary whispered. "I’m sorry it has to be this way, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the Gary Hobson you wanted me to be."
And with that, he pulled the trigger.

******************

The screaming could be heard downstairs in the bar. The patrons of McGinty’s all stopped what they were doing, wanting to know what was going on, but none of them brave enough to go upstairs to find out.

**

"Gary! Gary no!"

Lois and Marissa were both crouched over Gary’s body. Lois held onto it through tears.

"Call someone! For God’s sake call someone!" Marissa yelled out, even though she knew it was pointless. For once in her life, Marissa was glad to be blind.

"How could you do this Gar?" Chuck asked his friend under his breath, knowing full well that he was dead. There was no chance that Gary could live through it. But Chuck saw Bernie calling 991 regardless. A pool of Gary’s blood covered part of the carpet, and spilled onto Lois’ clothing. Chuck knew she was completely oblivious to it, but he couldn’t stop watching the blood. And he felt, in his heart, that his hands were stained with some of it, even if he couldn’t fully understand what Gary had been talking about in those last few minutes. Especially about that girl..Alana was it? That couldn’t be true. The last thing Gary said before he did it rung through Chuck’s head, and he knew it would haunt him, and all of them, for the rest of their lives: ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t be the Gary Hobson you wanted me to be.’

******************

A shadow.

A shadow of a man, a shadow of himself.

He lived in darkness at the end.

The small crack of light, which he embraced, was part of his demise.

Love, thought to be so bright, lead him there.

Though not solely the cause.

He will be remembered, for the days he spent in the shadows, as much as he will be remembered for the days he spent in the light.

******************

"Gary... Gary."

He blinked, and saw her above him, like he remembered seeing her the first time he met her.

"Alana? Is that you?"

She nodded.

"Yes Gary it’s me."

Gary noticed a tear in her eye as she helped him sit. Here he was again, in the place that she had told him he could not stay in.

"Alana, what’s wrong?"

"I can’t believe you did that Gary. I can’t believe it."

"Alana, I can’t live without you. I had to do it."

"Gary?"

"You heard me tell you. A man told me that if I loved you I would do anything to keep you. And that’s what I had to do. So I did."

"A man told you?"

"Yes. He told me."

"Oh Gary. I can’t believe you listened to him. He *told* you to do this?"

Gary shook his head. "No. I had to figure that out for myself."

There was a silence, then Gary realised that Alana was still crying. He reached out to wipe a tear away from her.

"Alana why are you crying? Aren’t you happy? We can be together now."

Alana took the hand Gary was touching her face with, and wrapped her own hand around it. She looked at him with her large, beautiful eyes.

"Gary, I’m touched you would do this, but don’t you realise how much suffering this is going to cause? The lives of the four people who loved you the most, their lives won’t ever be the same again. The paper… Well you know what I mean Gary. You *know* I love you. You know that, don’t you?"

Gary nodded shortly before she continued. "I love you Gary, and I would happily spend the rest of eternity with you, but-"

"But what Alana?"

"It’s not your time Gary. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, but I’m not sorry for that, and when it comes to us, how it’s supposed to be can be damned. But you *weren’t* supposed to take your own life Gary. You *weren’t*. And I can’t let you stay Gary, no matter how much I want to. I can’t let you. So that’s why, that’s why I have to let you go."

Shocked, Gary looked at her.

"Let me go? What do you mean?"

"Give you another chance. I’ve been told that that’s what I have to do."

"No Alana, no. I don’t want a second chance. Not without you there."

"But I will still be there Gary. I was always there. You just never saw me, and I couldn’t make you see me."

"So that’s why you were so lonely." Gary said, more to himself than to her, in a sudden flash of realisation. She nodded, with a sad smile on her lips. "So it’ll be like it was before, won’t it? Before I met you?"

"Yeah," she replied softly. "You won’t know me like you have done recently. In all honesty, you’ll probably forget me." She saw his face fall, and lifted his chin up with her bent index finger. "But I can give you something to cling to Gary. Now listen to me alright? Alright?"

He nodded, and she gave him another sad smile.

"Gary, if you really love me, if you love me like I love you, well, when it comes to an end," she paused and smiled properly before she kept going. "then we can be together."

She saw a light of hope in his eyes. "No ifs and no buts Gary. We can be together, forever. But only when your life ends the way it should Gary. That’s why you can’t stay here now."

The light in his eyes turned into a smile on his face.

"That gives me reason to live then Alana, if I know where I’m going."

She sighed happily, and moved closer to him. She gazed into his eyes, and kissed him with gentle passion. When they parted, Gary looked at her as she stroked his face.

"Oh Alana. Are are you an angel?"

She laughed gently. "Not by definition, no."

"No, no no, I don’t care about definition, or what you technically are. You’re you’re my angel."

Smiling shyly, she embraced him. "I love you Gary Hobson."

He placed his hand over hers. "I love you too Alana."

******************

He stumbled, and started to feel a sense of falling. He cursed loudly, honestly thinking this was it. But before he could fall, he felt someone pulling him. He reached out and grabbed hold of them, as they brought him back onto the floor of that storey. Gary looked at the storey below him, and thought about what could of happened to him. He turned back to thank the person who had saved him, but there was no-one there. Gary looked around, but there were only a few people parking cars, and they were all too far away to have saved him. He was confused. Not only by the fact that he couldn’t see his deliverer, but by the odd feeling that he had lived that moment before. Bemused, Gary pulled the paper out of his back pocket, and flicked through the pages as he headed towards the stairs which would take him back to the street. He couldn’t stay there all day, he had things to do, places to go, and people to save. And for some reason; and Gary wasn’t sure whether it was the fact that he knew that the fall he could have suffered could have killed him, he then felt strangely thankful for his ability to make a difference to people’s lives. Life was precious, Gary thought. You shouldn’t waste it.

And somewhere, Alana smiled down at him.
 

Email the author: phoebe_or_becks@hotmail.com
 

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