"I thought you remembered how to get there, Chuck," Gary glared at his best friend, and current chauffeur.  " 'Sure, Gar,' you said, 'I went to lots of parties there'."  With a small "humph", Gary slumped down in the passenger seat of Chuck's sportscar.  He read the headline for the millionth time:

Sorority Girl Electrocuted By Eel

Next to the story, there was a picture of a stereotypical, all-American girl, smiling widely.  The picture looked like it had been taken for the college yearbook, but was now being used for a more somber purpose.  The girl's sorority house was nowhere in sight and Gary had ten more minutes until the headline became set in newsprint.

"C'mon, Gar. It's gotta be around here somewhere.  Just look for the house with the most people hanging around it.  Can I help it if the university doesn't require the Greeks to label their houses?  And what is a sorority doing with an electric eel anyway?"

Gary rolled his eyes and continued to scan the buildings for the Omicron Delta emblem.  "The paper says it's part of some initiation thing.  They're supposed to make their way across a wading pool without disturbing the eel, or something like that.  The eel was supposed to be tranquilized, but they didn't use enough, so it revived while one of the girls was crossing the pool and electrocuted her."

"Why didn't they do that kind of stuff when we were in school," Chuck began.  Hazing has come so far..."

"Chuck, just look for...there it is!!!!"  Gary pointed to a small mansion with the Greek letters omicron and delta over the front door.  The front lawn was covered with students, mostly female, sitting on beach towels under beach umbrellas.  Gary bounded out of the car and up the lawn before Chuck had fully stopped the car.  The wading pool wasn't in the front, so it must be inside the house.

Gary stopped just inside the open front door and surveyed the party.  Loud music, flashing lights, and lots of inebriated sorority girls brought back scattered memories from his fraternity days.  Some things never changed, but what was all in good fun then seemed plain stupid now. You're gettin' old, Gar, he chided himself.

He scanned the rooms adjoining the foyer.  Loud screaming led him from the small front room to a larger eating hall.  The wading pool was set up in the center of the room, decorated like a tacky tropical paradise, complete with potted ferns, sand, and plastic pink flamingos.  The sorority girls were crowded around it, watching their pledges making their journey to sisterhood.  "Hey," Gary shouted, but nothing could be heard over the music and screams.  He was trying to move closer to the pool, nudging girls out of the way when he saw the girl from the picture walk up to the pool's edge.  Peering over the girls' heads, Gary saw a movement from the eel at the other end of the pool.  He ceased his nudging and began pushing his way through the crowd, trying to beat the eel to the other end of the pool.

Gary reached the side of the pool, grabbed the girl around her waist, and hoisted her out of the water seconds before the eel could touch her.  The glassy-eyed girl peered up at her rescuer, "Whaaadya do...."  She squinted, then relaxed her eyes.  "Oh."  She turned to face the crowd of girls and announced,  "Hey guys!  Stripper's here!"

Gary's eyes became the size of dinner plates as thirty girls whooped in glee and began closing in around him with predatory gleams in their eyes.  "Oh nononono," he stammered, backing away slowly, "You don't under-OW!"  He snapped around to glare at the girl who had goosed him.  "Now wait a second, miss.  HEY!"  Gary whirled around again and opened his mouth to protest the large chunk missing out of his backside.  One look at the girls' eyes and the words died in his throat.  There was going to be no reasoning with this mob.  Gary resumed backing up until he backed into the far wall.  A quick scan on either side of him revealed a sliding glass door at the other end of the room...and human animals between him and it.  He had no choice but to make a run for it.

*********

Chuck was putting on his best show for the cute coed sitting on the lawn.  A few more minutes and he'd score a date.  His head snapped up at a frantic yell and he saw Gary barreling around the corner of the sorority house.  What the...  Chuck's answer came in the form of a mob of sorority girls rounding the house's corner, nipping at Gary's heels.

"CAR," Gary squeezed out at the top of his lungs.

"Yikes," Chuck breathed.  He hopped into the driver's seat and slammed his door shut, locking it behind him.  Gary climbed in and shut his door just as the car roared to life and squealed away from the curb, leaving the mob standing in the warm August night.

"Hey, Gar. Think you can teach me how to do that?"

Fin

Email the author:   kutrekkie@yahoo.com
 

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