Night Of The Animals
                                                       By
                                  Betty Phipps/Aries4116@aol.com

Disclaimers:  Paramount is God. We just write. 

Premise: Takes place after "Dress Up".
Rated:  G     Good, clean humor!!!

                          
                                          Night Of The Animals

      "Tommmmmmy!!"   Naomi Wildman called. "You promised."
 Tom sighed and look down at his feet. This was really embarrassing.  How many men 
would do this for a girl?  Especially a little five year old girl who loved you dearly.  He had 
to admit he would in a heartbeat.  He only prayed that she wouldn't want to play dress up.  
That black dress was still a topic among Voyager. 
 Stepping out of the bathroom, Tom faced the little bugger with a brave smile, "What do 
you think?"
 Naomi gave Tom a critical look that only a five year old could give, "I like the slippers 
the best."   
      "What about the pajamas?"  Tom asked.  Not too many grown men wore pajamas 
that had a flap in the back. Nor did they wear flamingos, bright pink flamingos on bright 
blue material.  He felt like a old earth neon sign, blinking to get everyone's attention. 
      "They look really neat,"  she said bouncing in place.  "Fuzzels are my favorite."   
Fuzzels were a cross between a tribble and a earth weasel. Cute, cuddly....and deadly.
      "What say you let me wear the Fuzzels and you can wear the flamingos?"  Tom 
bargained with the munchkin.
      "I'd get lost in your pajamas, Tommy,"  Naomi said with a straight face. 
      "How do I let you talk me into these things?"  Tom questioned with a chuckle.
      "Because you like watching me when mommy has to work."
      "True,"  Tom admitted. "Now...what are we going to do tonight?"
 Naomi smiled as big as she could and took Tom's hand.  This was going to be a 
interesting night. 

 B'Elanna gave Chakotay a hard look, "I don't think Tom is sleeping with any other 
women on the ship."
      "Are you sure?"  Chakotay hedged. 
      "Chakotay, are you working on your sense of humor?"
      "I've always had a sense of humor, B'Elanna."
      "Really?"   B'Elanna said crossing her arms.
      "Really."  Chakotay said straight faced. 
 B'Elanna watched him walk away. She was always uncertain of Chakotay's humor. 
She could never tell when and if he was joking.
 
 Building a fire on the ship was not possible. So Tom had to come up with another idea, 
which he did. His quick mind was always ready to help Naomi out. 
 Tom wondered if Neelix does this with Naomi?  Dress up in crazy clothes and do things 
that only children do, like camping out in quarters.  He would have to ask him.
 Blankets were strewn about the living quarters of the Wildman's.  It looked like a camp 
ground gone mad. He was certain that if someone saw his handy work, he would be tossed 
into the brig for building violations. 
      "Did you get the fire going?"  Naomi ducked in under the blanket. 
     "Certainly did,"  Tom said. "Did you bring the rations?"
     "Got em!"  Naomi held out a bag of stuff.  "Why aren't you wearing your bunny 
feet?"
     "My feet were getting warm,"  Tom said. "I promise to put them on when I leave the 
tent."
     "Don't want you catching sniffles,"  Naomi wagged her finger at him. "Don't want to 
call the Doctor out for sniffles."
     "I know what you mean. Ready for some stories?"
     "Yep!!"  Naomi said crawling over to Tom's side. She slipped off her panda slippers 
and turned the furry faces towards them. She saw Tom's questioning look and said, "They 
like stories too."
 Tom nodded in agreement and picked up a padd and began. 

 Harry Kim rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Staring at the report was not 
going to make it write its self.  The mess hall was quiet, maybe too quiet. 
 Pushing the chair back, he stood up and froze in his steps. His eyes had to be playing 
tricks on him.  Just had to be.  He quickly stepped into the shadows to watch the intruders 
invade. This was going to be fun to explain. 
 The story made Naomi really hungry, so she and Tom headed to Neelix's pantry to raid 
it. It had to be done incognito. 
 Tom realized that when and if he ever becomes a father, he will look back on these 
moments with Naomi and realize that there are some things he shouldn't do.
 Sneaking around Voyager, wearing flamingo pajamas and bunny slippers and a feathery 
mask, was not a good idea. Oh the jokes that would follow.  Naomi was no better than 
Tom was. Her Fuzzel pajamas, panda slippers and Zorro like mask, wasn't going to keep 
her from getting into trouble. 
 So far, they were lucky not to be seen by anyone. The mess hall was quiet and they 
proceeded to their raiding tactics.
 Harry watched with a bemused smile. Tom really did like different kinds of sleep wear.  
Bunny slippers?   This was only getting better. He watched as Tom and Naomi raided the 
stash of goodies.  A wicked smile crossed his face and he crouched down and moved 
across the pantry area. Time to scare the little thieves.  Peering around the corner, he saw 
them stash some goodies in a bag.  Taking a deep breath, he jumped out from behind the 
counter and yelled. 
 Tom and Naomi both screamed and threw what they had in their hands, a raspberry 
cream pie, towards the intruder. 
 Harry never saw the pie until it was too late. Then with a soft splat and plop, the ensign 
was wiping it out of his eyes. 
 Tom and Naomi were not about to be caught with the goodies and made a bee line out of 
the mess hall.  Poor Harry was left standing in raspberry cream pie. 
 
      "Ensign Kim,"  a voice called behind him. 
 Harry slowly turned around to see Seven standing there with a questioning look on her 
face. 
      "I did not realize you enjoyed wearing food."
      "I don't,"  he said with a grin. "I was hit with a pie."
      "There is no one here."
      "Now there is not,"  Harry said with a grin. 
      "Are you well, Harry Kim?"
      "Well enough to see flamingos and bunny slippers."
      "Seven to sickbay, two to beam out."
They disappeared before Harry had a chance to explain. 

 Tom and Naomi were hiding in the corridors as they made their way back to the 
campsite. Dodging around corners, trying to stay out of sight was tough.  There were little 
giggles of relief released until they got to the camp sight.
Diving into the makeshift tent, Tom and Naomi were breathing a sigh of relief...and 
indulging in their rewards of the journey. 
 But the picture of Harry Kim, covered in raspberry pie, was the highlight in Tom's 
night.  
       "Bad waste of pie,"  Naomi said with a frown. 
 Tom's mind froze for one split second before reacting to the statement Naomi made. 
When his mind did respond, Tom was gasping for air and crying. 
 Naomi only watched the pilot with a smile. She just never could understand Tommy 
sometimes. He was a mystery with no clues. 

      "I'm fine!!"  Harry yelled from the biobed. "There is nothing wrong with me!"
      "I will be the judge of that,"  the EMH said in his superior tone of voice. "Pink 
flamingos, bunny slippers, pandas and fuzzels are not a good sign of a sound mind."
      "Wearing food is not either,"  Seven added.
      "I was hit with a pie by Tom and Naomi!"    
      "Somehow I don't think Tom was wearing bunny slippers,"  the EMH said reading 
the tricorder readings. "Tom is of sound mind."
  
 Harry and Seven looked to the EMH with a incredible look and the doctor looked back. 
      "Would you like to lay on the biobed and let me give you a mental exam?"  Harry 
said in a serious voice.
      "You're right,"  the doctor said. "You're normal, what ever normal is on this ship."
      "This crew is so difficult to understand,"  Seven said walking out of sickbay. 
      
 The EMH and Harry watched her leave and looked at each other. Stranger things have 
happened on Voyager.

 Several minutes and several snacks later, Tom and his counterpart were suffering from 
"too much junk syndrome"  or  "Neelix's food syndrome".   Both looked a little green and 
were feeling really bad. 
      "Ahh...I will never.....eat again...."  Tom dragged out.  He would feel so much 
better if he threw up. 
      "Me...too....."  Naomi weakly added. "I'm gonna explode."
      "What a pretty picture,"  he said closing his eyes.  Naomi sighed.  So they suffered 
in silence.

 B'Elanna was fixing a power conduit when the obvious hit her.  Tom was staying over 
with Naomi. He never told her anything about it.  That sneaky pilot.   That is why 
Chakotay was hinting around.  Oh....one dead pilot and one dead commander wouldn't be 
missed too much.  
 After fixing the conduit, she headed off to Ensign Wildman's quarters to first fix the 
pilots lapse of memory and then to adjust the commanders sense of humor. 
 She couldn't help but smile as she made her way through the corridors.  Tom was the 
biggest grown up child on Voyager. It was no wonder that him and Naomi were close.  
Trouble always came in pairs....especially those two. 

 Tom's mind was a bit fuzzy due to the churning of his stomach.  Boy was it turning, 
like a newly born galaxy, like the mixing of a drink, like a spin of  top, like B'Elanna's 
face. 
B'Elanna's face?  Where did her face come into his churning thoughts?
      "B'Elanna....."  Tom mumbled.  "Are you spinning or is it my mind?"
 She looked down at the duo in jammies and smothered a laugh. What a pair!!
      "Judging by the way you two look,"  she said. "I'm sure that is not all that is 
churning.  What did you two do?"
      "We..." he began and was cut off by a belch, "Raided Neelix's pantry."
      "You are a daredevil indeed,"  she grinned at his pale face. "What say we go to 
sickbay and have the doctor look at you?"
      "He always looks at me,"  Tom whined. 
      "That is because you are always in there,"  she smiled at him and called the doctor. 
      "Lanna...."  a sleepily little voice called out as her hand rested on her hand. "I don't 
feel so well."
      "Don't worry, the doctor is on his way,"  B'Elanna said sliding a look toward Tom.  
She began to undo the blankets and tried not to laugh. Blue pajamas with pink 
flamingos?!?!   Tom!?!?!?     Bunny slippers!?!?   He was sick!!!!  In more ways than 
one!!!
 The doctor walked in about the time Naomi's tummy tossed its contents, "Nothing like 
see food  for thought."
 B'Elanna scowled at the doctor as the wetness soaked through her uniform, "Don't even 
think it Tom. I can forgive Naomi, you are a different matter."
      "Well.....I see my patients are fashion victims as well as sick,"  the doctor said 
looking at his patients. "Mr. Paris, the bunny slippers top off your attire completely."
      
 Tom sighed. He could never win no matter what situation he was in. Guess luck was 
always with him.  He was relieved when he was beamed to sickbay.  At least there 
wouldn't be anyone there, except for Naomi, B'Elanna and the doctor.

 Life was full of surprises, even in sickbay.  Tom had no idea what waited for him and 
Naomi in sickbay. 
 Samantha Wildman smiled at the much better looking pilot and her little angel. Only a 
look that a mother could give to two sick people. 
 Neelix was rocking back and forth on his heels, smiling at the little thieves.  Standing 
beside him was Harry Kim who was smiling also.   Captain Janeway looked over at 
Commander Chakotay who was grinning at B'Elanna. 
      
      "Mr. Paris,"  Janeway said with a smile.  "Seems you and Naomi have been busy 
tonight."
      "I can explain,"  Tom said uneasily. There was no way he was going to get out of 
this one.
      "I'm sure you can,"  Janeway replied holding up her hand in Tom's attempt to 
explain. "But I don't know if I want to know."
      "Captain,"  Naomi's small voice sounded. "Tommy was just being my friend. He 
likes playing camping and running on the ship. I know we aren't suppose to run, but no 
one was there."    Samantha couldn't keep the smile off of her face.  "Tommy is really a 
good friend. He teaches me how to fly Voyager and hussel the pool table."
 Janeway's eyes widened at the "hussel"  part. She wasn't the only one surprised by the 
honest admission by the little girl.  B'Elanna was stifling a laugh, Harry was looking at the 
ceiling, Neelix was in shock and Chakotay looked amused. 
     "I'm sure....."  she paused, looking at Tom, "Tommy is a great friend. He enjoys life 
and likes to share all the mischief that goes with it."
     "He does!!"  Naomi said with a smile. 
 B'Elanna walked behind the biobed that Tom was sitting on and patted him on the 
shoulder, "Does Tommy's tummy feel better?"
      "Much better,"  Tom said with a grin. She was not going to let him live this down. 
      "Mines better too...."  Naomi said looking back at her mom and the captain. "Are we 
going to be grounded?"
      "That is a tough call,"  Chakotay said folding his hands behind his back. "Many 
infractions were made."
      "Infractions?"   Tom said. "What infractions?"
      "What's a infraction?"   Naomi asked. 
      "Many...."   Harry added with a grin. 
      "Such as?"  Tom asked not convinced. 
      "For starters,"  the doctor began.  "Too much junk food."
      "Then throwing the pie on me,"  Harry added.
      "Still a waste,"  Naomi muttered. 
      "Getting beamed to sickbay for a mental exam,"  Harry added.
      "Throwing up on me,"  B'Elanna added.
      "Sorry B'Elanna,"  Naomi said. "I was sick."
      "That's okay, it happens to all of us."
      "Not to mention the mess that was made in my kitchen,"  Neelix added with great 
glee. 
      "Confusing Seven,"  the doctor added.
      "Since when is that an infraction?"  Tom questioned. 
      "Wearing pajamas that have a flap in the back,"  B'Elanna grinned at the discovery. 
      "Tom?!"  Chakotay said with a smile. "Prepared for anything, huh?"
      "I like to think so,"  the pilot muttered.  "B'Elanna...undo that button and you will 
find out what Klingon hell looks like."   B'Elanna pulled her hands away from the white 
button with an innocent look.
      "Flamingos at that,"  Harry said. "The bunny slippers top off the look."
      "Are they picking on you, Tommy?"  Naomi said climbing up on the biobed next to 
Tom.  
      "Yep, they are,"  Tom said putting his arms around Naomi. 
      "Don't worry, I won't let them upset you,"  she said patting his hand.
 The doors to sickbay opened and Tuvok walked in with a tray, "I'm glad you all are 
here."
      "What is up Tuvok?"  Harry asked nodding towards the tray.
      "I wish I knew,"  the Vulcan dryly stated as he pulled the cover off of the tray.
 The room was quiet as all gathered thoughts as to what it was. 
      "A tribble having a panic attack?"  Harry replied.
      "Captain with a bad hair day?"   Chakotay answered. "Joking, Captain."
      "A Talaxion hairball?"   B'Elanna added, while Janeway bowed her head and 
laughed.
      "That is gross!"  Naomi added. 
      "It was disturbing,"  Tuvok replied. "I'm concerned with the person or persons 
mental balance."
 Tom slowly nudged Naomi off the biobed and prepared to make an escape. The last 
thing they saw was the flap on Tom's pajamas, flapping about and showing them a side 
seldom seen of the pilot. 
      "Oh...B'Elanna,"  Harry added. "I admire you for your bravery, but......."
      "A butt it was,"  Tuvok said with his Vulcan coolness.
 Seven walked into sickbay and into yet another question, what was going on and why 
were people gasping for air.  She observed the people before her and walked out. Some 
things were better left alone, especially Human humor.


End