In July of 2001 our beloved Mama Looney issued this challenge: I have a story idea that obviously will make a different timeline or AU out of "thirty Days". Remember that Doc said that Janeway was considering replacing Tom as chief helmsman? Obviously, she didn't, but what if she did? Even say he was relieved of his senior officer position for a limited time, what would have happened? What would this cause to the characters and/or the ship in general? The more I think about it, the more I think it would make for great emotional story telling, especially for Tom. Of course, I don't think any Paris fan (me included) would like seeing Tom removed from his position, thus a reason why such fanfic around this concept have not existed even after all this time when "Thirty Days" first aired. This is my answer to that challenge. Title: Challenges Author: Brigid Email: brigidandmike@juno.com Rating: [PG-13] Series: Voyager Part: 1/1 Synopsis: P/T Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. I thank them for letting me play with them. Date: April 2002 Thanks to Dasia and Samzmom for the beta and to Tara for the challenge. Challenges "Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris… I hereby reduce you to the rank of ensign. And I sentence you to thirty days solitary confinement… Take Ensign Paris to the brig." *** 'Thirty days solitary confinement. You've done it this time, Tom. In prison again. When will you ever learn that the good guy never wins? He always gets screwed in the end.' *** Tuvok's words startled Tom from his sleep. "Rise and shine, Ensign. Your thirty days have been served…" *** Tom hesitated outside B'Elanna's door. Would she still want a relationship with him now that he'd lost his rank? True, she'd summoned him, but the thought of keying the announcer was terrifying. He needed to see her, to hold her in arms to believe that she still loved him even though he was again a jailbird. His hesitation cost him dearly as he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. Looking up, prepared to defend himself, he saw Chakotay's brown eyes holding a look of, what? Sympathy? Compassion? Not likely. "Chakotay, I had assumed that I would be free to visit whoever I wished now that my confinement is over." There was hesitation in his voice. "You are, Tom. I just wanted to see how you were doing and I figured this is where you would head first." Chakotay's voice was kind and he seemed to show genuine concern. Tom was immediately suspicious. "I'm fine and I'd like a little time alone with B'Elanna if you don't mind." His voice was stiff. "I understand, Tom. I'd like to talk to both of you for a minute, then I promise you, I'll leave you alone for your reunion." Confused, Tom keyed the announcer and heard B'Elanna's voice. "Come in." Her arms were around him and she was kissing him passionately long before she noticed Chakotay standing behind him in the doorway. Tom returned her kiss but broke it off quickly. He wanted to feel her in his arms, drink in her scent and fill his senses with B'Elanna but he was also aware that they were not alone. Chakotay discreetly cleared his throat. B'Elanna growled in return. "Go away, whoever the hell you are." "B'Elanna, I really just need to talk to you, both of you, for a few minutes, then I will leave, I promise." He flashed his dimples hoping that they could persuade an irate and horny Klingon to spare his life. "Two minutes, Chakotay. That's all you've got." She gave her answer as she caressed Tom's face, taking in every feature, trying to see if he'd changed. "It's all I'll need. Could we sit down please?" Tom and B'Elanna pressed their foreheads together in frustration for a second before turning and heading for the couch which they shared, leaving the chair for the Executive Officer. He noticed their hands were still entwined, Tom seeming to need her touch more than ever. "Tom, there've been some changes on the bridge. I wanted to tell you about them myself, before you heard it from anyone else." Tom bristled at the hesitation in Chakotay's voice. "Sounds like I've got gamma shift for the next 70 years," he joked. When Chakotay didn't laugh, the fear in Tom's belly congealed into a hard knot. "What is it, Commander?" Chakotay flinched slightly at the form of address. Tom only used it when he was angry or upset and hadn't called him by his rank much at all in the last year. "Tom, Ensign Culhane is now the officer in charge of the Conn. You will be answering to him. He will be answering to me. For the time being you will be on gamma shift until the captain feels that you have demonstrated that you are ready for the other shifts. Beta shifts will for the most part be in sickbay. You have five full shifts there per week. The captain feels that you need some lessons in discipline." Chakotay had delivered his news quietly knowing that it would be a difficult blow for the younger man. He had chosen his timing carefully also. B'Elanna would help ease some of the pain. In fact it was to B'Elanna that Tom looked, "Did you know?" "We found out this afternoon. I threw my screaming fit in the conference room and in Chakotay's office but it didn't help. Her mind is made up. I asked that no one say anything so I could be here when you heard. At least she agreed not to make a ship wide announcement." B'Elanna's tone was bitter. "I'm sorry, Tom. I tried to change her mind too but she is the captain and it is her decision." Tom nodded slowly. "Thanks, Chakotay. I guess I'll hit sickbay at 1600 and the bridge at 2400 tomorrow. Can I assume that my time is my own until then?" "Yes, of course." "Then, I would like to be alone with B'Elanna." "Alright. I'll be on the bridge when you get there tomorrow." "Did you get stuck with gamma shift now?" Tom asked with a grin. "No, I just thought it might make the transition a little easier." Tom believed in the sincerity of Chakotay's words and was grateful for them. Chakotay nodded and rose to leave. "Good night, you two." B'Elanna stood to walk Chakotay to the door then turned to look at Tom. "I'm sorry. I think he did all he could to change her mind but she was adamant." Tom nodded slowly and rose to his feet. B'Elanna moved to circle him with her arms again, holding on as if her life depended on it. "Come on. Let's sit down. I have a feast planned for you!" With a sly wink Tom asked, "Are we just referring to food here?" "Oh I don't know. If you eat all your dinner I might have a surprise for you later," she grinned. "Depends on what's for dinner, I suppose," Tom answered, feigning nonchalance. "Well, it was a tough call between tomato soup, peanut butter and jelly, or pizza! Pizza won," B'Elanna declared as she removed a large pepperoni pizza from the replicator and placed it on the table. "You are a goddess!" Tom whispered in a voice of worship, his eyes on the pizza as well as the woman who held it. "About time you noticed." Kissing her again, Tom gave his assurances, "Oh, I noticed but I didn't want to say anything. It might go to your head." The pizza was forgotten momentarily as Tom proved to B'Elanna that she was the one he worshipped. Then they turned their attention to dinner while B'Elanna filled Tom in on what had been happening in the last thirty days. Tom had actually been able to cash in on several bets while he was in the brig, with Harry's help of course. His replicator account was in decent shape for a man who had had all of his rations revoked during his incarceration. B'Elanna asked him about his time there and he told her about his letter to his Dad. "I guess I wanted him to know that I wound up in the brig because I thought what I was doing was right… or at least for the right reasons." Tom sat on the couch looking down at his hands while B'Elanna stroked his back. "Do you still feel that it was the right thing to do?" she asked. "Right thing to do? I know I shouldn't measure the rightness by the outcome but it sure seems to have cost me a lot to do the right thing." Again, B'Elanna heard the bitterness in his tone. "Tom, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you." She leaned down to whisper the words in to his ear but she stayed long enough to take a bite, just a little bite. With a quick motion, Tom grabbed her and swung her around so B'Elanna was lying across his lap, laughing at the suddenness of his attack. "Feeling a little Klingon tonight?" he asked. "It's been thirty days, Ensign. I'm feeling very Klingon tonight and you are going to serve my needs." Tom rose with B'Elanna in his arms and headed toward her bedroom. "We'll see who winds up serving who, Chief." *** The next morning brought a resumption of Tom's fears about his status on Voyager. B'Elanna had been called to engineering early and he had left her quarters shortly after to return to his own. He had enough replicator rations to order breakfast but he hated wasting them when he could go to the messhall. However, the idea of facing his crewmates was making him physically ill. Maybe no breakfast at all would be a better idea. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone announcing their presence outside his door. "Enter," he called. Tom wasn't surprised to see that Harry was waiting for him, as always. Maybe he could face the messhall after all. Harry grinned at the look on Tom's face. "Ready for breakfast?" he asked. "Harry," Tom began, "I'm s-" He was interrupted by Harry's apology, "Tom, I'm sorry." "You don't-" they both began again, and then laughed. "You first," Tom said. "I'm sorry for getting angry with you in the brig. I should have been more willing to listen, more sympathetic to what you were feeling," Harry finished. Tom looked at him with a sheepish grin, "I finished the letter and posted it for delivery should we ever get close enough to Earth." "That's great, Tom. I knew you could do it and I think your Dad will understand," Harry assured him. "Maybe, but at least he'll have my side of the story too." "Now, are you ready to go to breakfast?" Harry asked again. "Sure you want to be seen in public with a jailbird?" "Yeah, I think I can handle it," Harry assured him. "Okay, I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Tom sighed. Harry clamped a hand on Tom's shoulder. "It won't be so bad. I think everyone is going to be glad to see you." "Not everyone," Tom muttered but he followed his friend out the door. The messhall was busy when the two men entered but the buzz of the noise was momentarily silenced at the appearance of Tom Paris. Tom blushed brightly in recognition of that fact, but proceeded stoically to the serving line. He seemed to relax a little as the conversations resumed their normal levels and Neelix greeted him warmly. "Tom, it's good to see you out and about. What would you like for breakfast? Anything at all." Neelix was oozing with Talaxian exuberance and talking loud enough to cause Tom to blush again. "I'll just have what everyone else is having, Neelix. Those eggs don't look too green and maybe some toast?" "Coming right up. And I have a little risaberry jam that I've been saving. This seems like just the occasion for it. What about you, Ensign Kim, a little toast and jam too?" "Sure, Neelix, that sounds great." Under his breath Harry whispered to Tom, "He guards that jam like it's latinum, you must really rate!" Tom just gave him an embarrassed grin and carried his tray to a table in the far corner. Harry followed along behind, surprised that Tom had chosen such a secluded spot. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Yeah, I just would rather eat without all the whispers and glares." "What whispers and glares, Tom? No one is condemning you for what happened." "Harry, I just spent thirty days in solitary confinement. I took the Delta Flyer without permission and disobeyed more than one direct order. I forced Captain Janeway to fire on her own ship. You don't think the crew is just going to ignore that do you? The jailbird, traitor, Starfleet reject has just proven to them again that he's not worth trusting." Harry was surprised at the bitterness in Tom's voice but was saved from comment by Joe Carey and Mikel Ayala. "Tom, good to see you," Joe began as he and Mikel deliberately walked over with their trays, "Mind if we join you?" "Uh, no. Sure. Sit down." Tom looked at Harry in confusion but Harry just had a quiet smile on his face. "Glad to see you and I won't be spending so much time together, Tom," Mikel started with a grin. His security duties had placed him monitoring the brig far more often than he cared for in the last thirty days. He had also been under strict orders that there was to be no communication with the prisoner. "Yeah, at least we can talk to each other now." Tom retorted. "Talking will be a lot better than listening to you snore!" "I don't snore, Ayala." "Maybe you need to check with B'Elanna about that, Paris," Mikel was still smiling and Tom had to return his smile. Joe picked up on the conversation. "The weekly poker game is still on for this Friday, Tom, but we moved it up a little so you could get to your shift after we clean you out." "Thanks, guys, you didn't have to do that." Tom murmured. "That's what friends do, Tom." Joe answered quietly. Unable to think of a reply Tom concentrated on his food, embarrassed at the gratitude he felt. A few minutes later one of the Delaney twins, Jenny, he guessed (no dimple?) walked over and embraced him. "Tommy, I'm so glad to see you! We've missed you! Nothing is the same when you're not here to make sure everyone is having a good time." With a peck on the cheek she walked away as quickly as she had come. Tom had a bemused expression on his face. "Where did that come from?" he asked. Harry and Joe exchanged a look before Joe answered, "I think you'll find a lot of that, Tom." The conversation turned to the happenings on Voyager in the last thirty days and the friends filled Tom in on events -- humorous and serious -- frequently stopping so another crewmember could come over and wish Tom well. After breakfast the men parted to go their separate ways and Tom returned to his quarters. He knew he probably needed to sleep before he reported to sickbay at 1600. He and B'Elanna hadn't exactly left a lot of room for slumber last night. But his mind was still reeling from the revelations of the last twelve hours. B'Elanna still loved him. That was the most important. Chakotay had been sympathetic last evening. That was certainly a change. And then, this morning. His friends had still been there for him, still seemed to care. He'd been afraid that he had no friends left. Particularly after his blatant disregard of orders, forcing Janeway to fire on the Delta Flyer and even shutting Harry out when he came to the brig. He lay on his bed staring at the ceiling remembering the events that had led to his incarceration. The Monean homeworld was an ocean and they were destroying it. When did it become something that he felt so passionately had to be corrected? He remembered the conversation with Janeway about his love of the sea and how his father had insisted on Starfleet. His punishment told him whose side Janeway was on. She was Starfleet through and through. Then why was it that he felt the admiral might understand his motivation when it was obvious that the captain had no idea? He drifted off pondering that mystery. *** Sickbay was not Tom's favorite place to be, particularly when the doctor derived great pleasure out of calling him "ensign." He was grateful when an opening in the holodeck schedule left him alone in sickbay to continue his inventory in peace and quiet. Tom was surprised to come out of the storeroom to find Ensign Daniel Culhane standing in the middle of sickbay looking decidedly uncomfortable. "Ensign," Tom began, "what can I do for you?" Culhane turned red at the polite address and tried to bring the conversation to a friendlier place. "Tom, I just wanted to see how you were doing," he stammered. "I'm okay, Danny. Congratulations on your promotion." "I didn't want the job, Tom. I'm sorry she gave it to me. Maybe I should just-" "Danny," Tom stopped him. "Give yourself some time. You'll be fine. I heard you did some pretty fancy flying when we were attacked. Good work." Culhane blushed at the praise from his mentor, "It was all those hours you forced me to spend in the simulator changing the rules every chance you got." Tom laughed softly, "Changing the rules, yeah, well, that doesn't work all the time, Danny." "I know, Tom. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry you're stuck on gamma shift, it's really boring. We need you where the action is." "I guess I'll just have to adapt to boring, Danny." The silence wore on until Tom finally said, "Is there a medical reason for you to be here, Ensign?" "No, I guess not." "Then you'd better get to the messhall. Won't Andrews be waiting for you to eat dinner with her?" "Nah, that was over a couple of weeks ago. But I am thinking about asking Nicoletti out." Tom groaned and put his arm around the younger man's shoulders, "Danny, Danny, Danny, why would you set yourself such impossible goals?" Culhane brightened at the other man's words, certain that his friend was still there for him. *** Gamma shift really was a boring place to be. The ship went into a sleep mode and the pilot was not supposed to go over Warp 2. It was Starfleet's attempt to keep everything on as even a keel as possible. And, of course, Captain Janeway wanted to follow the regs and keep things on an even keel. Tom hated Gamma shift but had tolerated it under Tuvok or Chakotay. They tended to let him fly a little faster than the regs allowed. Under Harry it was a different story entirely. The ship stayed at Warp 2, he insisted on being called "Captain" and he asked for status reports every twenty minutes. The third time he asked Tom looked at the crewman manning the engineering station on the bridge. She was trying hard not laugh as she gave her report. Tom's face told her he was up to something. When Tom's place in the report rotation came he launched into a report filled with explicit detail. No 'all systems operating within normal parameters' for Tom. He gave Harry the rundown on exactly how fast the engines were running and how much fuel they were consuming. He gave exact coordinates for their position and heading as well as estimates on when they would reach their stated destination, earth and anything else in the foreseeable future. His report took several minutes and held Harry's rapt attention. "Nice report, Ensign. Thank you." Harry responded. Tom wanted to groan out loud but was pretty sure Harry wouldn't notice. He had to come up with another plan and he had twenty minutes to do it. The time passed quickly and Tom could feel the tension building with the other three crewmen, Harry was still oblivious, enjoying his role as "captain." Twenty minutes later, on the dot, Harry asked for the report from OPS to begin the rotation. Ensign Parker gave his report without preamble and with little enthusiasm. Ayala happened to be at tactical and his report was succinct, as always. Ensign Camisa Rojo, the engineer, gave her report but the laughter in her voice caused Harry to look up from the screen next to the big chair where he was entering all the information carefully into his logs. Her face was hidden as she pretended to closely scrutinize one of the readings. "Any problems, Ensign?" Harry asked. "No, sir," she answered with what suspiciously sounded like a giggle. Harry shrugged and returning his attention to the small screen, he asked for the report from the helm. To his amazement and the amusement of the others on the bridge, Tom stood and faced his 'captain' and threw himself into a stirring rendition of "Blue Skies" Blue skies, smiling at me Nothing but blue skies do I see. Blue birds, singing a song Nothing but blue birds all day long. Never saw the sun shining so bright. Never saw things going so right. Noticing the days hurrying by When you're in love, my how they fly. Blue days, all of them gone. Nothing but blue skies from now on. As he started into the second verse he was joined by Camisa on the chorus. Harry was fighting hard to control his features by the time they were finished but his only comment was "Interesting. Thank you." Tom nodded and resumed his seat waiting for the normal interval to pass, anxious to see if Harry had gotten his message. Another twenty minutes passed and the excitement on the bridge was almost tangible. The crewmen looked at each other and grinned in anticipation, all except Tom who manned his station in stoic silence, giving it his total concentration. At the appointed time, Harry looked around, seeing the smiles that were rarely present during his shift and realized how much quicker the time was passing. He rose and walked over to Tom's chair and placed his hand on the pilot's shoulder. It was reminiscent of the gesture frequently used by Captain Janeway but Tom managed to keep himself from flinching. Harry's words were reassuring, though. "Looks like things are going just fine at the helm, wouldn't you say, Tom?" "They look fine to me, Harry." Tom answered brightly. "Let's just keep them that way, okay." "No problem, Capt'n" was Tom's exuberant reply. The tension on the bridge melted away as the officers began to use their time for a little friendly banter, never neglecting their stations but anxious to enjoy the night on a different level. Kathryn Janeway was early for her shift on the bridge and was startled to hear what sounded like laughter and singing coming from her bridge. That was unusual, Harry usually kept a much tighter rein on things and she couldn't imagine anyone singing. As soon as the turbolift doors opened the ensign at OPS called out in a clear voice, "Captain on the bridge." All of the crew with the exception of Tom stood at attention at their stations. Tom's back was ramrod straight at the helm. They looked like the model Starfleet crew and Janeway decided she must have imagined the other sounds that she heard. She merely looked around and acknowledged their presence with a nod, "At ease, I'll be in my ready room. Notify me when Commander Chakotay arrives." "Aye, Captain." Harry responded. As the doors slid shut behind her, the captain strained to hear the resumption of the camaraderie she had interrupted but was rewarded with silence. The mood had been lost. She was forced to reflect on the fact that the bridge had become a cold, unwelcoming place without Tom Paris. *** Another headache was keeping Captain Janeway from concentrating on her officers' reports much less enjoying them. It was a running battle with the doctor: he could only help her if she reduced the stress in her life and she was not about to relinquish control of her ship to anyone else so that the stress of her position would be reduced. She ran a tight ship and all of her Starfleet training told her that a tight ship was the only way they would survive their Delta Quadrant ordeal. Tonight's headache was going to have to be treated though and with a resigned sigh the captain headed for sickbay. Her thoughts were strictly on getting relief and not the fact that it was Beta shift and Ensign Paris was on duty. When she entered the room she found Tom and B'Elanna enjoying a quiet moment in the doctor's office. She had obviously brought him supper from the messhall and was keeping him company while he ate. Their hands were entwined as Tom ate and B'Elanna talked about her day. The captain was unwilling to interrupt, but Tom had already become aware of her presence. Dropping B'Elanna's hand he quickly stood and moved out of the office to join Janeway in the treatment area of sickbay. "Captain, what can I do for you?" he asked pleasantly. "I have a headache. I was wondering if I could get an analgesic?" she replied. Tom nodded and asked her to sit on the nearest biobed while he procured a tricorder and a hypospray. "How long have you had this headache?" His voice was detached and professional. "Several hours but it just began interfering with my concentration in the last hour." Tom nodded and placed the hypospray against her neck, careful to keep the physical contact to a minimum. Captain Janeway rubbed the area on her neck and watched as Tom entered information into the tri-corder. "I'd prefer this didn't go into my medical records. The doctor is already giving me grief about reducing the stress in my life." Her tone was light hoping to begin some of the friendly banter that she had always enjoyed with Tom. "I'm sorry, Captain. That would be against regulations," he answered without emotion. Janeway paled slightly and slid off the biobed. "Of course, Ensign. I'm sorry I interrupted your dinner." She left quickly without a backward glance. B'Elanna came out of the office and stood next to Tom as he studied the information he had entered into the tricorder. "Hey," she whispered, "are you okay?" Tom nodded, "I haven't seen her in days and the first thing she asks me to do is break regulations." The discouragement was heavy in his voice. Silently he erased the data. *** The Nefari system held dozens of planets with warp technology and a friendly, fairly well organized governing system. A group of high-ranking officials had been anxious to make contact and visit this ship from the other side of the galaxy. Tuvok's tour included the shuttle bay where they were awed by the Delta Flyer and sickbay where they were also impressed by its designer, Ensign Paris. Trade negotiations were begun. *** Chakotay and Tuvok had taken the Delta Flyer to one of the far planets to procure some necessary supplies leaving the morning staff meeting a little short of staff. Seven of Nine reported that the uninhabited planet fifth from the sun was a rich source of minerals, some of them of obvious value and some which would have to be analyzed once they were mined. The assignment of procuring the minerals was given to Ensign Kim with Lt. Torres heading the small engineering team needed to determine their value. Harry was eager for some time away from the ship and saw an opportunity to get Tom away for a while too. "Captain, there do seem to be some atmospheric disturbances in the area. I'd like to take Ensign Paris along to pilot the shuttle." "Are you saying that you are incapable of piloting the shuttle yourself, Mr. Kim?" The captain's reply lacked warmth. "No, Captain, of course not. I just thought that it might be to our advantage to have a more experienced pilot on the mission," Harry answered. "Seven, do you see anything in your readings that would indicate the need of a more experienced pilot?" Janeway asked. "No, captain, I do not. There are some readings which are a little erratic but nothing to indicate that a pilot with the skill level of Ensign Kim would not be able to handle. Of course, if you wish, I could accompany them on the mission, to aid in navigation," Seven replied. The captain had to work at composing her features but finally managed to say, "Thank you, Seven, but that won't be necessary. Mr. Kim, I believe you can handle this mission without the services of Mr. Paris or Seven." Harry nodded in agreement but he felt regret that he wasn't going to be able to get Tom some time away from the ship. He knew his friend badly needed some down time right now. His four weeks in the brig and his four weeks of double shifts after his release were beginning to wear on the usually congenial pilot. What he really regretted was getting Tom's hopes up. They had shared breakfast that morning as Tom was getting off gamma shift and Harry had assured him that he could fly the shuttle on the away mission. Now he had to tell Tom that the captain had denied his request. Tom actually took the news pretty well, whether to spare Harry's feelings or because it didn't really matter to him, Harry didn't know. And they both hoped that other opportunities for shore leave would present themselves since Voyager was planning on staying in this area for at least a week. *** The mission began well enough with Harry, B'Elanna and two crewmen exiting the shuttle bay with a lighthearted loop to indicate their excitement. Tom had slipped out of sickbay long enough to give B'Elanna a quick kiss before she entered the shuttle and left with a smile on both of their faces. Seven's erratic readings however proved to be severe gravimetric shears that bounced the shuttle around unmercifully, interfering with inertial dampers and all navigational systems. Tom could fly a shuttle by the seat of his pants, Harry couldn't and the result was a crash landing on the planet and injuries to the crew. B'Elanna's injuries were the most severe and no one had the medical expertise to do anything but stabilize her and try to ease the pain as they attempted to reestablish communication with Voyager. Tom's sixth sense told him that B'Elanna was in danger and he hurried to the bridge to see what had happened. The message from Harry was just coming in as he stepped off the turbolift, distracting Captain Janeway enough that she hadn't noticed his presence. "Captain, the gravimetric shears were far more dangerous than Seven's scans indicated. The shuttle is severely damaged and B'Elanna is injured. The tricorder says she's bleeding internally. I've done what I can but we need help and she needs to be in sickbay." His voice sounded frantic no longer holding a professional detachment. "Alright, Harry. We'll get you some help. Ensign Culhane, take another shuttle and Ensign Wildman and prepare for a rescue mission." The captain's voice sent shivers up Tom's spine. "Captain," Tom began, "permission to accompany Ensign Culhane." Janeway turned around abruptly, startled to hear Tom's voice. She stared at him for a long second before she answered, "I don't think that will be necessary, Ensign. Mr. Culhane can handle this." Tom was not about to let anyone put B'Elanna in any more danger. "Permission to speak freely, Captain." Kathryn Janeway was not a stupid woman by any means and she recognized the dangerous glint in Tom Paris' eyes. Briefly she considered denying his request but instead she nodded towards her ready room. Silently he followed her in. "Alright, Mr. Paris. What was it you wanted to say?" she asked coldly. "Captain, you know that I am the best pilot you have. If Harry had that much trouble then you need me down there to get them back. I'm also the best field medic you've got and B'Elanna is hurt. I need to make this trip." Tom insisted. "Ensign Culhane is quite capable of flying this mission and Ensign Wildman is a capable medic. There is no reason for you to leave this ship." Her tone was adamant. "I can understand your anger with me, Captain, but don't take it out on my friends," Tom replied coldly. "Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Paris. This is not about you." "Bullshit," he answered quietly. "Do I need to call security, Mr. Paris?" She could tell she was pushing him to the edge but he had pushed her too. "No, Captain. I'll do it for you- Paris to Ayala." "Go ahead." Paris waited a long moment before he answered, "Meet me in the shuttle bay, Mikel. We're going on a rescue mission." "Aye, sir. Ayala out." The captain started at the tone of deference in the other man's voice and at the form of address. It was obvious that Ayala would follow Tom anywhere. Tom gave Janeway a long look obviously waiting for a reaction. When none came he turned on his heel and left the ready room. She followed him to the door and silently watched as he crossed the bridge and entered the turbolift. *** The conditions on the planet were deteriorating, but the information that the first shuttle had sent back to Voyager enabled Tom to successfully navigate the area and land close to their crash site. Harry was surprised and grateful when he saw Tom and Mikel. They began to help the injured engineers to the other shuttle while Tom began his evaluation of B'Elanna's condition. Harry had been right: there was internal bleeding, but Tom was able to get it stopped and stabilize her enough to move her to the other vessel. She wanted to walk but Tom insisted that her carry her. B'Elanna protested the whole way but was grateful for his arms as the winds on the planet increased, slowing their progress. Ayala met them at the other shuttle and safely pulled them into its interior. Tom strapped B'Elanna onto one of the biobeds in the back, and with a gentle kiss he left her to Harry's ministrations while he resumed the pilot's seat. "Hang on, everyone. This is going to be rough." The return trip to Voyager was an adventure but Tom was able to keep the shuttle in one piece and safely land it in Voyager's shuttle bay. B'Elanna was transported directly to sickbay while the others made their way more slowly. The EMH was already arguing with B'Elanna by the time the others arrived. His instruments easily repaired the internal damage, but his suggestion that the amount of blood she lost would require her to rest in sickbay for several more hours was met with instant resistance. The doctor left the stubborn Klingon in Tom's care and moved to treat the other men himself. Tom smiled as he stood next to the bed which held B'Elanna. "Hey," he began. "Hey, yourself. Are you going to let me out of here?" she snarled. "Will you go to your quarters and rest completely for the next twelve hours?" he replied. "I suppose. Can I just make one stop in Engineering to pick up some reports?" "No, no reports; just complete unadulterated rest!" "Are you coming with me?" she grinned slyly. "No, I have work to do here," he answered. "But I'll walk you there. How about that?" "Alright," she reluctantly agreed. Tom turned to the EMH, "Is that okay, Doc?" "Yes, Ensign, just make sure she rests and return here immediately," the doctor replied. "No problem, Doc. Back in a few." Carefully helping B'Elanna to her feet Tom was still supporting her when he turned toward the sickbay door and saw the captain had entered. They exchanged an indefinable look and B'Elanna could feel the tension rising in Tom. He simply nodded in her direction and continued to support B'Elanna's slight weight as he guided her from the room. *** It was several hours later when B'Elanna awoke and realized that Tom hadn't been back to check on her. The look on his face when he'd left her quarters had alarmed her then and that alarm hadn't dissipated after her long nap. She needed to find Tom, now. He was in his quarters staring out the viewport at the slowly moving stars. B'Elanna walked in quietly and moved to stand next to him. "What is it?" she asked softly. "I can't go back to the brig, B'Elanna. I can't spend another thirty days there." His voice was broken. "What do you mean, Tom? Why would you have to go back to the brig?" "I stole that shuttle. I disobeyed her orders and stole the shuttle to come down to the planet and get you. She was going to send Culhane and Wildman, but I knew that you were hurt and I knew Danny might not be able to handle the conditions so I called Ayala and took the shuttle." He paused to catch a ragged breath "But I know she's just waiting for Chakotay to come back so she can court martial me again. I'm surprised I'm not in the brig already." He shook his head and turned to look at her. "I've got to go, B'Elanna. I have to leave the ship. These people seem to be civilized enough and I know they can use a pilot. I'm sorry." His eyes held pain as she stared at him in disbelief. It only took B'Elanna a moment to gather her thoughts and reach with both hands to touch Tom's face, gently caressing his cheeks. "Then we'll go, Tom. I'm sure the Nefarians could use an engineer too." "I can't let you do that, B'Elanna. I can't let you give up the opportunity to get home." Tom's voice was unsteady. "Tom, I love you. And if Voyager isn't a home for you any more then it isn't a home for me either. We'll go together and face whatever is out there just like we would face anything here. We're a team, Ensign Paris, and don't you forget it." She was smiling, offering him her strength as well as her love. Tom drew her into his embrace and they stayed that way for several long minutes. The announcer on Tom's door startled them from their reverie. "Come in," Tom called. The portal opened to reveal Commander Chakotay. *** "Tom and B'Elanna have asked permission to resign and stay with the Nefarians in the Delta Quadrant." Chakotay delivered his news without emotion and it was received the same way. Janeway rose from her chair and walked to the viewport, staring silently out. "Are there any others who have asked to stay?" Chakotay was startled by her question but managed to answer calmly. "A few other people have talked to them, but Tom and B'Elanna persuaded them that Voyager needed them." "More than we need Tom and B'Elanna?" Janeway's voice held sarcasm. Chakotay cleared his voice and hesitated before asking, "What is this vendetta you have against Tom?" "Commander, I am a Starfleet Captain. I don't have vendettas," she replied coldly. "What did Tom do that was so much worse than what I did or Tuvok? Why was he sent to the brig, reduced in rank and put on gamma shift indefinitely?" "He challenged my authority, disobeyed a direct order." "So did I, so did Tuvok. Even Seven has done that." "He forced me to fire on his ship, my ship." Her anger was building. "He made a choice, one he could live with or die with. You made the choice to fire. If you couldn't live with that choice you shouldn't have threatened him with it." Chakotay rarely gave in to anger but Kathryn Janeway had just pushed his last button. He had interviewed all those involved in yesterday's events and stayed up all night to do it. He was tired and he was irritated with Kathryn's attitude. The attitude wasn't about to improve. "You are dismissed, Commander." Chakotay looked at his captain for a long minute, trying to find the woman he'd known so well for the last five years. Instead, a stranger stood there, a stranger with a vendetta. He shook his head and silently left the room. *** Tom was restless and he didn't want to disturb B'Elanna by pacing in her quarters, so he left and went to the messhall to try to center his thoughts. That was where Kathryn Janeway found him when she felt the need to get out of her quarters also. "Tom, can we talk?" she asked. "What would you like to talk about, Captain?" "Tom, I did what I had to do. I can't tell you how badly it hurt to have to order Voyager to fire on you. But you challenged my authority, I had no choice. I've never had to fire on one of my own before." She tried to make him understand. "Maybe you need to talk to Chakotay. He has some experience in firing on Starfleet vessels." Tom rose to leave but she stopped him. "Is there a way out of this?" Still standing, Tom replied, "Captain, the first time I disobeyed your orders, I did it as a man who saw a wrong which needed to be righted. I still believe that I did the right thing, but I'm willing to admit I may have done it impulsively without looking hard enough for other possibilities. On the bridge yesterday I disobeyed your orders because you have lost my loyalty, and your anger with me was threatening the lives of my friends. That was something I couldn't live with. Good night, Captain." Janeway watched him leave the room and continued to stare at the door long after it had closed behind Tom. She was startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Chakotay standing at her side. "You heard?" she asked. "I heard." "Any suggestions?" He sat down opposite her and considered her question. "You could throw them both in the brig for the next couple of years and just bring them out when we have a crisis. If they're in separate cells maybe they'll lose their attraction for each other." "Don't be ridiculous, Chakotay." "Sorry," he paused before his next words. "Kathryn, do you want a man who obeys you blindly? Do you want the smart-ass you picked up in New Zealand? I worked with Tom in the Maquis, all he was interested in was getting his bar bill paid. But he's changed, he's grown. This is a different man, fighting for a cause he believed in. I'd rather work with that man. " He paused again before continuing, "You could ask them to stay. Offer Tom his position back. He is the best man for the job." Kathryn Janeway nodded silently. After a final gesture of support, a gentle squeeze of her hands, he rose to leave. "Good night, Kathryn." "Good night, Chakotay." *** The first person Captain Janeway spoke to the next morning was Ensign Culhane. The interview went much better than expected. "Ensign, how would you feel if I allowed Ensign Paris to resume his position as Chief Conn officer?" She was surprised by the look of pure relief that crossed the young man's features. "Captain, I would be thrilled. It would be wonderful. I don't want the responsibility; I don't want the reports. Tom is much better at this than I am. I like gamma shift." Janeway stopped the eager young man with a look, "I get the picture, Ensign. Please don't say anything to anyone about this. I need to talk to Ensign Paris before I make any decision." "Are you going to be able to stop them from leaving the ship?" he asked. "I don't know but I'm going to try. Return to your post, Ensign. Thank you." Tom and B'Elanna were called to the ready room next. B'Elanna had returned to her engineering duties but Tom was off duty and chose to appear in civilian clothes. The captain knew it was going to be a difficult conversation. "Tom, B'Elanna, Commander Chakotay has given me your official request to resign your commissions. I'd like to ask you to reconsider. Tom, I made a mistake, and that mistake is about to cost me two valuable officers and friends." Her words were guarded but sincere. "I'm apologizing, Tom, not for punishing you after the Monean incident but for allowing that punishment to become a challenge to myself. I wanted to punish you until you broke, until you admitted you had made a mistake. Admitted that I was right and you were wrong. I overreacted; I have no right to command your conscience. All I have a right to is your loyalty. I would like a chance to earn that back." A small sigh escaped as she realized that she had finally said what needed to be said. Her only hope was that her words had been heard. Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other but it was Tom who spoke. "Captain, we'd like some time to talk about this." "Of course, please let me know when you've made a decision." Nodding, Tom rose and offered his hand to B'Elanna, looking to their captain for permission to leave. She nodded silently and watched them cross the room together. Chakotay was in the Astrometrics lab when Tom and B'Elanna sought him out. "What's going on, Commander?" Tom asked abruptly. With a sidelong glance at the obviously curious Seven, Chakotay motioned to the door, "Let's go somewhere else to talk." B'Elanna's quarters were closest so they went there. Again Tom and B'Elanna took the sofa while Chakotay sat in the chair across from them. He began in his gentle way, "Tom, the captain has discovered that she is human. She allowed her anger and frustration to get in the way of her common sense. She made a mistake. That's very hard for her to admit but I think she's admitted it even to herself. She'd like another chance." Tom nodded, "Is this going to happen again?" Chakotay hesitated, "I can't promise that it won't, but I think we've all learned something. Let's see if that lesson can help make us better officers." There was uncertainty in Tom's voice, "Alright, we'll talk about this and let you know what we decide." Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other as Chakotay left the room. Tom spoke first, "What do you want to do?" "You have to make that decision, Tom." "Do you think we can trust her?" B'Elanna's answer was immediate, "Yes, we can. We've trusted her, followed her for five years. She admitted she overreacted; so did you. It hurts to fire on your own ship, Tom. I had to fire on Starfleet vessels in the Maquis and I know how hard it is. I always had the fear that somebody I knew might be there, might be killed." "I never had to do that. I really can't imagine what it would be like," Tom answered her quietly. "Does this mean you're going to give her another chance?" "Yeah, I guess it does. I'd better change clothes and go tell her." He paused and gave B'Elanna a rueful look, "Do you think she'll ever let me off gamma shift?" "Eventually, if you don't whine too much." "I don't whine, B'Elanna." B'Elanna just rolled her eyes and asked, "Need any help changing, Ensign?" "No, lieutenant, I think I can handle it just fine." Tom answered her with a pout in his voice. Leaning in for a quick kiss, B'Elanna said, "Then I'm headed back to engineering. I love you, you know." "Yeah," he smiled, "I know." *** It was nearly an hour later when Tom asked for admittance to the captain's ready room again. "Enter." Tom was dressed in his uniform, giving Captain Janeway reason to hope her offer had been accepted. He remained standing in front of her desk in proper military form. "Sit down, Tom." Nodding, he took the seat across from her and waited for her to begin the conversation. "Have you come to a decision?" It was the hardest question she had ever asked. "Yes, Captain. B'Elanna and I have decided to stay on Voyager." "Thank you," she answered softly. "You're welcome." Neither seemed to know what else to say so Tom rose to leave. Kathryn followed him to the door and onto the bridge. As Tom reached the door of the turbolift the captain addressed Ensign Culhane at the conn. "Mr. Culhane." He swung around to look at her. "Yes, Captain." "Your temporary assignment as conn officer is over. Mr. Paris will be resuming his duties tomorrow." The confusion on Tom's face was not lost on the rest of the bridge crew as Culhane jumped up to thank her. "Yes, Ma'am! Thank you, Ma'am." "Be careful, Mister, or I will put you in charge of something else," the captain replied with a slight smile. "Yes, ma'am-" the hapless ensign muttered. Tom was still in shock, "Captain, you don't have to do this," he said softly. "I know," she answered gently. "Thank you." His reply was equally soft but Kathryn knew some bridges had been mended and maybe they had learned something. The obvious approval of the bridge crew reaffirmed her decision but not as much as the look in Tom's eyes. That look said, yes, she could earn his respect again and he would try to earn hers. The end