Tom's Goodbye.
By Katie Grist (kgrist@hotmail.com)
(PG.)
Synopsis: A story set in some kind of parallel universe, 
(probably in the late third season). When Tom is killed 
on an away team, B'Elanna is guilty because she didn't tell 
him how she felt about him. 

     All of Voyager's senior staff, except for the Doctor 
who was in Sickbay, sat solemnly around the Bridge. All 
that is, but Tom Paris.
     Lt. B'Elanna Torres sat at her Engineering station, her 
face a mask of shock, Ensign Harry Kim stood behind the Ops 
station, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall.
Neelix leaned heavily on the rail separating the upper and 
lower levels, his face ashen, Commander Chakotay sat in 
amazed silence at the helm. Tuvok looked as unflappable as 
ever, but was there a hint of sadness in the depths of his 
eyes? Meanwhile Captain Janeway sat in her command chair, as 
still as a statue. Then, blinking away tears, she activated 
the ship's intercom.
     "This is Captain Janeway,"  she said as all over the 
ship, people stopped what they were doing to listen to her. 
"As most of you know, an away team was sent down to the 
planet we are orbiting in search of edible plants.  While 
down there they encountered a hostile race and were attacked 
and I regret to inform you that Lt. Tom Paris was killed in 
a successful attempt to prevent the death of a fellow 
crewmember." 
She paused to let her words sink in.   "There will be a 
memorial service at 1100 hours tomorrow where you can pay 
your respects."

     Tom Paris had been well liked and his memorial service 
proved that.
     All off-duty crewmembers crowded into the holographic 
Sandrines where the service was being held and those who 
were on-duty would be listening in via an open comm link.
     The first speaker was Harry Kim;
     "When I first met Tom, I was wary of him,"  Harry 
began. "He'd been to prison and was apparently  heartless 
liar and a traitor. Since then I have found him to be  the 
complete opposite and a good friend who I will miss 
greatly."
     During his speech, tears had trickled down Harry's face 
and only now did he wipe them off.

     Several other people spoke and then finally it was 
Captain Janeway's turn.
     "When I first met Tom Paris he was an innocent little 
boy who disrupted a meeting. A little boy who would go from 
Starfleet to Maquis and back again, and from hardened 
criminal to a loyal and trustworthy friend and officer. Not 
to mention the "best damm pilot I could ever have", to quote 
his self description.  And although he would never believe 
it, his Father would be very proud of him."  
Janeway's eyes were bright with tears as she picked up 
her drink to offer a toast. 
     "To Thomas Eugene Paris."

     That day Engineering had been Hell. Lt. Torres had been 
throwing herself into her work, she hadn't even attended the 
memorial service in holodeck two, and she expected everyone 
else to do the same. But instead, they worked distractedly 
and talk about Paris. 
     Finally B'Elanna couldn't take it any more.
     "Could you all just shut up about Paris and do some 
work?!" She demanded
     "But don't you care Lt.?" Carey asked her.
     Didn't she care?? Of course she cared! She'd loved the 
man for Kahless' sake! Not that she'd say anything to them, 
she'd never even told Tom how she felt about him, let alone 
her engineering staff.
     But before she had to come up with an answer, her comm 
badge chirped.
     "Torres here."  She snapped.
     "Lt, could you pleas come to my ready room."  Janeway 
asked.  


     "Of course Captain. I'll be right there."

     A few minutes later,  she arrived on the bridge, and as 
she stepped out of the turbo-lift the sight of an unfamiliar 
ensign at the Conn was like a blow to the stomach.
She'd been so used to seeing Tom there.

     When B'Elanna entered the ready room, Janeway looked 
up. The Engineer looked like she'd seen a ghost. 
     "Please B'Elanna, sit down."  She gestured to an empty 
chair.
     "Thank you Captain."  B'Elanna sat down gratefully.
     "B'Elanna, a short while ago, Tom gave me this," She 
slid a data clip across the desk and B'Elanna took it. "He 
asked me to give it to you if he ever died suddenly."
     "Why me?" B'Elanna asked as she studied the clip. It 
was a holodeck program.
     "It's in the clip." Janeway told her. 
     Numbly Torres stood and left.

     During her shift, she barely did anything. She was off 
in a dream-world, wondering what the holo-program would be.
     "Lt.?" Carey's voice interrupted her thoughts.
     "What?" She asked irritably.
     "It's the end of your shift."
     Without answering him, B'Elanna stood and hurried into 
the corridor. 
     "Computer, status of Holodeck Three." She asked as she entered the
Turbolift.
     "Holodeck Three is empty." 

     When she got to the Holodeck, B'Elanna put the data 
clip into the appropriate slot with shaking fingers.
     "Program ready."  The computer informed her.

     When the doors hissed open, B'Elanna gasped. There, as 
large as life, stood Tom. Or at least a Holographic 
representation of him.
     "Hi 'Lanna!" He said brightly.
     "Tom....."  She breathed.
     "Well I guess I'm dead." He said matter-of-factly.
     She nodded.
     "That means I have to tell you something."
     "Y-you do?"
     "Yeah, I do. You see 'Lanna, I never told you this, but 
I love you."
     "You love me?" B'Elanna repeated.
     "That's what I said."  Tom told her.  "But I have to go 
now."
     "Tom, wait...." B'Elanna protested, but to no avail. He 
was gone.
      And for the first time since Tom had died, B'Elanna broke 
down and cried.