I Promise To......... 
By Aries4116@aol.com

B'Elanna jumped out of bed like she had been shot. Standing still, she  began 
to look around her sleeping quarters. Nothing. Nothing made a sound nor  
moved.  She looked down at the blanket that was wrapped around her feet and  
knelt down to untangle it, but fell down to the floor instead. Burying her 
face  into the soft material, she curled up on the floor in the blanket. 
      Time had been an enemy to her. It had taken away things that she was 
not  ready to give up. It destroyed pieces of her dreams before her eyes. She 
knew  she could never change time, only live with what it had delt her. 
     The blanket was warm and comforting to her cold body and soul. It was 
all  she had of the memory of the past.  A past she most wanted to live 
again. 
     Sleep eluded her ever turning mind as she stared out to the stars that  
streaked by. Taking her further from the place that destroyed her life.  
Taking  her from the memory that would never fade from the corners of her 
mind. 
     Sighing, she pulled the blanket closer to her chin. Memories flooded her  
senses as she smelled the blanket. He was still there with her. His scent 
was,  not his physical being.  She would rather have him here and not his 
scent.  His  laughter, smart remarks, and his smile would haunt her for the 
rest of her life. 
     *Klingons are not afraid of being haunted.*  She thought out loud. A 
part  of her hoped that someone would answer back saying, "Hauntings only 
happen in  nightmares or abandon houses. Not in your mind."   The words 
echoed in her mind  from a time not so long ago. 
     Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around her legs and began rocking back 
and  forth.  Emotions were churning like a new solar system being born. The 
feeling  of sadness made her stomach ache, and her heart constrict. 
     Looking up to the bed, she quickly reached out for the teddy bear that 
had  belonged to Tom.  She hugged it close to her heart and laid back down on 
the  floor with the blanket wrapped around her tightly.  Sleep soon over took 
her and  she closed her eyes.

     She woke up later that morning feeling like she slept in engineering all  
night. Maybe she would have slept better if she did. 
     B'Elanna picked herself and the blanket off of the floor and put it back 
on  the bed. Sleeping on the floor did nothing to ease the ache in her soul. 
Picking  up Teddy, she leaned him against the pillows and headed to the 
bathroom.  Calling for lights, she soon saw her reflection in the mirror. 
     This was not her. Dark circles made her eyes look dull, lifeless. 
Lifeless.  That was all she could see in her reflection. Pulling out the 
basin, she  splashed the cold water on her face. She had to wake up and get 
to engineering.  Grabbing a towel, she buried her face into it, hoping the 
cold water would give  her the jolt she needed. 
     Looking back into the mirror for a sign of improvement, she leaned 
closer  to it, eyes growing wide. *It couldn't be!*  Her mind screamed. *He 
is not  here!* 
     B'Elanna turned around to find out if she was starting to lose her grip 
on  reality.  There stood Tom Paris. 
     "Gods...I am losing my grip on reality."  She said entranced by the 
vision  that stood before her. 
     "Hello B'Elanna."  Tom said in that soft voice. 
     "You are not here. You are dead."  She replied sternly. 
     "I am alive, B'Elanna. You have to believe me."  He said calmly. 
     "Okay...I've lost my mind now. Reality just left me at warp speed. Guess  
I'd better get some shock therapy or something."   She said backing herself  
against the sink. 
     "B'Elanna, I've missed you. I've really missed you."  He said as his 
eyes  filled with tears.  "I want to hold you again." 
     She was now in a state of panic. She was having a conversation with the  
ghost of Tom Paris in her bathroom. It was getting stranger by the moment.

     Tom Paris was standing before her. His blue eyes were sparkling like 
they  always did. His smile, oh Gods, that smile tugged at her heart. 
     B'Elanna realized she could not move back any further or she would 
become  part of the wall. 
     "Why are you hear?  Your dead!"  She yelled out.   Tom slowly nodded in  
agreement. 
     "Yes. I am dead. You saw me die."   His soft voice replied to her harsh  
yell. 
     "Why are you here?"  She asked as tears streamed down her face. Tears 
that  had not been cried since he died. 
     "You didn't cry for me when I died."  Tom said gently.  B'Elanna's eyes 
widened with amazement at his answer.  She didn't cry when he  died. She 
couldn't find the tears to do so. She would not dishonor him by  weeping at 
his funeral. 
     "But....you...how could..you..know...."  She trailed off as the tears 
fell  more quickly.

     In one quick movement, Tom closed the distance between them and pulled 
her  into his arms. To hold her once again, was the only thing he wanted to 
do.  He  needed to remember her touch, the fragrance of her shampoo and what 
is was like  just to hold her again. What is was like to have her pressed 
against his chest,  listening to his heart beat. 
     B'Elanna held on with all of her might. If this was a dream, it was very  
real to her. His touch tingled her senses, awakened something that was dead  
inside of her. The ache went away. 
     "Stay with me, please.  I don't want to lose you again. Even my dreams 
can't  leave you behind."  She asked pulling away from him. 
     "I'd give anything to stay with you, B'Elanna. But I can't."  Tom sadly  
answered.

     "Why come back just to leave me again?"  She asked, not letting him go.  
Tom could see the fear, sadness and many questions lingering in her eyes. 
     "I never wanted to leave you or anyone on this ship."  He said stepping  
back from her. "But  I could not let Harry die for no reason, B'Elanna. Just  
like I would not let you, Chakotay or Captain Janeway, die for no reason." 
     B'Elanna closed her eyes and the moment when Tom died, came rushing back 
to  her.

     "B'Elanna!!  Cover Tuvok!  I'll cover Harry!!"  Tom yelled from behind 
the  wall. He saw B'Elanna pull her phaser out and cut across the stone road 
and lay  fire down.  He turned his attention back to Harry who was pinned 
down by some  temple guards. He quickly sprung into action, pulling his 
phaser out and taking  aim at the guards. Ducking behind huge woven baskets, 
he took a moment to catch  his breath, "Damn..I'm out of shape."   Once again 
he sprung into action, took a  running dive, and dove into the door way where 
Harry was. Landing on his  shoulder, he piled up at Harry's feet. 
     "Nice of you to drop in."  Harry replied helping Tom up. "I was starting 
to  get worried." 
     "Worried?!?"  He exclaimed, "I didn't think I was going to make it." 
     "You would never let me down Tom."  Harry patted him on the back. Tom 
only  smiled.

     B'Elanna and Tuvok managed to stun the guards that were after them. They  
were making their way back to Tom and Harry. 
     "Looks like Mr. Paris and Mr. Kim are trapped."  Tuvok's calm voice 
stated.  B'Elanna looked at him as if to say, *What was your first clue??" 
     "It's now or never Tuvok."  B'Elanna said getting ready to move. Tuvok 
only  nodded in agreement.  They jumped into action taking two of the guards 
out that  were firing on Tom and Harry. 
     Harry and Tom ran out of the small alcove and made their way towards 
Tuvok  and B'Elanna.  Tom was watching for any other surprises that might pop 
up, while  staying close to Harry.  The falling of a crate distracted Harry 
and Tom and  they stopped for a second. Out of the corner of Tom's eye, he 
saw a guard step  out from a building and raise his weapon. 
     B'Elanna and Tuvok saw what was happening, but couldn't help them. She  
stood up and began to scream for them to take cover. Just then, Tom stepped 
in  front of Harry as the guards weapon fired. 
     The blast hit Tom square in the chest and he slumped to the ground like 
a  lifeless doll.  Harry whirled around with phaser in hand and began firing 
in the  direction of the guard. Tuvok and B'Elanna emerged from their hiding 
place and  began to fire also. 
     The guard slumped to the ground.  Harry knelt down to Tom.
    The front of Tom's uniform was seared into his skin. Harry began looking 
for  a pulse and found none. Fear began to take over his mind, as B'Elanna 
and Tuvok  ran over. 
     "No pulse."  Harry said woodenly as Tuvok examined the wound. He could 
see  small parts of muscle that was exposed by the blast. 
     B'Elanna was beside Harry and watched as Tuvok took another closer look.  
Something screamed in her mind. A silent scream. 
     "Mr. Paris died instantly. He did not suffer."  Tuvok said looking at 
Harry  and B'Elanna. There was no emotion and no feeling in Tuvok's words. It 
stung  like a slap across the face. Harry stared at Tom's body unable to move 
or to  talk, but his mind was working. *God no!!  He was just here!!  He was 
alive!!!  No! No!  You can't leave me!!!  You are my best friend..Do you hear 
me?!* 
     B'Elanna reached out and closed his eyes. It was the last time she would  
see those blue eyes twinkle again. Lingering over his face for brief moment, 
she  took in the fading warmth from his skin. Removing her hand, she stood up 
and  walked away. 
     Tuvok was not totally immune from feeling emotions. A certain void 
filled  his thoughts. He had just began to see Tom Paris in a different 
light. Began to  know Tom more on a personal side as well as professional. 
And now it was gone.  Forever.

     B'Elanna and Harry waited by Tom while Tuvok went to get the shuttle. 
The  planet's atmosphere made communications impossible and transporters too  
dangerous to use.  Harry looked up to B'Elanna and she locked gazes with him.  
There was so much to say, neither one knew where to begin. Reaching out, 
Harry  laid his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.  She smiled 
weakly and  turned back to the one person she never told how important he was 
to her.

     With in minutes, Tuvok returned with the shuttle to take them back to  
Voyager. After placing Tom in stasis, Tuvok and Harry occupied the pilot and  
co-pilot chairs and began to set their course to home. 
     B'Elanna sat beside Tom's body in silence. Watching over him like he was  
asleep. Soaking in his features, remembering every contour of his face, the  
shape of his nose, and the firmness of his jaw. A part of her wanted him to 
sit  up and complain that she was staring at him, driving him crazy.  But the  
rational part of her mind kept telling her, he was dead and he was not coming  
back.

     Captain Janeway stood looking out of the viewport in her ready room. 
Mind  refused to work, process information, about Tom's death. Voyager made 
contact  with the shuttle ten minutes ago and learned of the tragedy.  She 
had lost  crewmen before, but this was different. Her mind began to work. Now 
she was  going have to inform the entire crew about Tom's death. She knew 
something was  wrong when Tuvok needed to speak to her privately. 
      Janeway sat down on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. She had 
to  get the crew home. Her mind began to wonder what it would be like with 
out Tom  Paris around.  No hearing the words "Yes Ma'am" in that Paris 
fashion. No more  games of pool and betting that went with it. No more smiles 
from the con when  she gave him an order that he already knew. In an instant, 
he was gone.

      Chakotay made his way to the bridge in an un-Chakotay fashion. Instead 
of  swift strides, he literally ran to the bridge, rushing past other 
crewmembers  who did not see the flying commander. 
      Stepping off the turbo lift, he headed straight for the captain's ready  
room. He didn't wait to be invited in, he walked in. There he saw Kathryn  
sitting on her couch with her hands in her lap. Walking over to her, he sat 
down  beside her. 
     "What is wrong Kathryn?"  He questioned with out touching her.  She 
turned  her blue eyes toward him. 
     "Tom Paris is dead."   She said with no feeling what so ever.  Chakotay  
looked away then looked back at her. 
     "Kathryn?"  He questioned not fully understanding what was going on. 
     "Tuvok notified me from the shuttle ten minutes ago. He was killed on  
Yalmai Prime by a guard who attacked them. He died saving Harry Kim's life."

     Standing up, Chakotay walked to the other side of the room. It seemed so  
unreal, but it was  real. Looking back at her, he nodded, "Have you informed 
the  crew?" 
     "No. Not yet."  She said leaning her head back on the cushion, fighting 
the  emotion that threatened to escape. "I will have to tell them before the 
shuttle  docks. I have 30 minutes before I have to........"   She trailed off 
knowing  Chakotay could figure the rest out. 
     "I you like, I can....." 
     "No. I have to."  She said cutting him off.  "I owe Tom that much."  
Nodding, Chakotay turned and left. The bridge was quiet as he sat down in his  
chair. 
     The space in front of him was occupied by another crew member. One he  
couldn't remember the name of.  His eyes encompassed the helm in front of 
him.  He could see Tom sitting there, hands flying over the controls, getting 
Voyager  out of another problem.  A twinkle filled his eyes as he remembered 
the name  that the female Q called him, "Helmboy".  He did make a mistake 
once and called  him "Helmboy".  Tom laughed at him and said, "Guess that one 
will stick for a  long time."   But more over, Chakotay never realized how 
much he began to like  the young cocky pilot. Began to see him in a different 
light. Began to see how  much people can change if given a chance. He wished 
that the powers that be,  would give Tom another chance.

        Just as the shuttle got into transporter range, Tom's body was beamed 
to  sickbay.   B'Elanna, Harry and Tuvok watched as Tom's lifeless body 
vanished before them.  Harry quietly sat down on the bench and rested his 
head in his hands. B'Elanna  turned back to the shuttles controls, and Tuvok 
returned to the pilots chair.  Docking procedures began there after.

      The shuttle docked on Voyager and three crewmembers walked out of the  
shuttle and stepped into the turbo lift and headed for the bridge. Not one 
word  was exchanged between them as they stepped onto the bridge. 
     Tuvok knew that Captain Janeway had informed the crew of Tom's death. 
There  was a uncanny silence that filled the bridge, as well as the rest of 
the ship. 
     Chakotay stood up, "The Captain wants us in her ready room."   They  
followed Chakotay into the ready room. 
     Captain Janeway sat on the couch looking like she had been up for the 
last  24 hours. The senior staff sat down in the chairs or on the couch by 
Janeway.  Tuvok stood as the others sat. 
     Janeway looked at all of her staff. She could tell this was going to be  
hard, but together they will survive this. 
     "I know this is going to be hard on all of us. Losing someone close to 
us  is the hardest to deal with. But, together, we can get through this sad 
time."  She said looking at everyone.  "Since we are each others family out 
here in the Delta quadrant, I thought we  would talk about Tom's funeral 
arrangements, and what he would have wanted." 
     There was a moment of silence as each one thought about what Tom would 
have  wanted. 
     "I think we should have it at Sandrine's."  Harry softly said. "He was  
always at home there."  Kathryn nodded in agreement, "Yes, Tom would like 
that." 
     "I will provide the music."  Harry added in again. "I have a piece of 
music  that I wrote...that Tom didn't get a chance to hear."  Chakotay 
watched as the young ensign quickly wiped a tear from his eye before  anyone 
could see. This was going to be hard on Harry. 
      "Tom was never one for dress uniforms."  B'Elanna added. "He would 
rather  be tropical than starfleet."   Everyone agreed.  "Tom always liked to 
be  comfortable." 
      "I will get Sandrine's ready."  Chakotay said. "The funeral is at 20:00  
tomorrow night."  They all sat together in a time of silence. Needing only 
the closeness, not  words.
   Kes watched as the Doctor pushed the lifeless body of Tom Paris back into 
the  hold. She still couldn't believe that he was really gone. She stood 
there for a  few minutes, with her hand against the cool surface. Dying was a 
natural part of  life, natural death was, not a senseless death. 
     Tears began to fall, streaking down her face, landing on the floor and 
her  shoes. She let them fall, not stopping the emotion that engulfed her. 
There  would be no more pilot lessons, or sudden holodeck parties, or Tom's 
smile. All  that was left, was memories.

     From the door way, the Doctor watched Kes cry. He was going to miss 
Paris  also. After losing his daughter Belle, he understood what the human 
emotion was  about. This was no holodeck simulation. He wished it was.  He 
left the room and  walked back to his office. Sitting down in the chair, he 
pondered upon tomorrow.  What would it bring?

     Neelix sat in his kitchen, looking at the items for tomorrow's 
breakfast.  When the captain announced that Tom Paris had died, he couldn't 
finish the menu.  Tom was his friend. They had many adventures together and 
worked out their  differences from the past. Now there was a void that filled 
Neelix's thoughts.  He stood up and began to get the menu in order for 
tomorrow, but stopped.  Something came to mind. Something Tom had mentioned 
not long ago. *"Pancakes  with dripping butter and blueberries, and a omelet 
stuffed with peppers and hash  browns.  Now that's a breakfast!"*    "One Tom 
Paris breakfast coming up." He  stated and begin the preparations.

      B'Elanna went to her quarters to change clothes and work on the report 
she  had to submit. She didn't want to put into words what she saw, didn't 
want to  live it again. Everything felt wrong. Quickly reaching out for a 
vase near by,  she slammed it into the wall and watched it shatter in to 
pieces. This is how  she was feeling. The table became the next object to be 
destroyed. Pieces of  metal and glass flying from the point of impact. It 
wasn't enough to quench the  anger that she felt. The Klingon side erupted 
with a vengeance and the wall  became the next victim. 
     People walking down the corridor could hear B'Elanna Torres' anger, and  
were glad they did not disturb her.
 The night was long and unhappy for many on Voyager. Some couldn't sleep and 
some  couldn't keep their minds on work.

      Harry Kim sat in his dark quarters, playing his clarinet. The soulful  
sound reviling what his heart was feeling, lonely, angry and sad. Each breath  
gave way to another wave of music that eased the hurt, but not taken it away  
fully. Music brought back memories. Memories that would have to last forever.  
But one memory was etched into his mind forever, the day when Tom Paris saved  
his life. 
     Suddenly the music stopped and the quiet filled the room. Putting the  
instrument down on the chair, Harry stood up and walked over to the desk and  
began to pick out some music for Tom. Something that had soul, meaning.  
While  doing so, tears fell from dark eyes. 
     One piece of music was from 1968 called,  "(Sittin' On) The Dock of The  
Bay"  by Otis Redding. It had a smooth feel to it. It was relaxing. A smile  
broke out on his face. This song reminded him of Tom. He could picture Tom  
sitting on the dock by the bay. Feet dangling over the water, watching the 
sun  rise and set. Watching life as it rolled by.  Harry sat back and 
listened to the  song, thinking of Tom's stories about living in Georgia.

     B'Elanna couldn't sleep. She kicked the covers off the bed, got up and  
headed to Tom's quarters. She could care less who saw her in her night 
clothes.  Any comments and she would knock them into last week to think about 
this week. 
     Overriding the code for the door, she stepped into the quiet quarters.  
"Lights."  She requested and the room lit up. Tom's quarters were neat and  
clean. She looked around the room and found a desk that had padds scattered  
about. Walking over, she noticed a picture of Harry and Tom smiling from 
behind  a table. Picking the picture up, she inspected it more closely. 
Sandrine's was  where this picture was from. The pool table in the back 
ground. She laughed to  herself, *That pool table. I lost a lot of rations 
playing pool.* 
     Sitting the picture down, she walked into his sleeping quarters. Another  
place of neatness. His bed was made and clothes were folded there upon.  She  
touched the soft teal colored blanket at the foot of the bed. Pulling it up 
off  the bed, she smelled it. Tom's scent lingered on the blanket. Slowly she 
hugged  the blanket to her, not wanting to let it go. Opening her eyes, a 
brown and well  loved teddy bear sat against the pillows. Smiling, she sat 
down on the bed and  picked the bear up. 
     "So, Tom has a teddy bear."  She said out loud, holding it close to her.  
She never had such an animal growing up. What did he see in this bear any 
way?  She began to inspect it some more. Patches of fur were matted and worn, 
and its  little tongue was about gone. The ears were furless at the top, and 
one of the  eyes were missing. 
     Leaving Tom's quarters with a blanket and teddy bear, B'Elanna headed 
back  to bed. Comfort can be found in strange items.

     Sandrine's was filled with crewmembers who came to pay their last 
respects  to Thomas Eugene Paris.  No holo characters were present during 
this sad moment. 
     Most were dressed in tropical attire in which Tom was quite fond of. The  
senior staff were dressed in this fashion, a remembrance of Tom. 
     The room was filled with idle chatter until Kathryn Janeway stood by the  
pool table. Voices soon quieted down. She was dressed in a tropical sundress  
with colorful flowers that made her glow. Turning to look behind her, Tom 
Paris'  body rested silently. Sighing, she turned her attention back to the 
crewmen. 
     "We have shared many a joyous occasion here at Sandrine's. We have 
laughed  and carried on until the wee hours in the morning. We have been 
together through  all of the good times as well as the bad."  Kathryn gazed 
around the room noting  the somber looks on all of the faces, as well as the 
tears. Holding back her own  tears, she continued, "We are here to honor 
Thomas Eugene Paris one last time." 
     She stepped away from the front of the room, as Harry Kim walked past 
her.  His bright red and pineapple shirt certainly stood out. 
     Harry took a deep breath, and began. "Tom was like a brother to me. 
Taking  me in and showing me things that they did not teach at the academy. 
Showing me  that there was more to life other than duty twenty-four hours a 
day."  A smile  broke out on his face, as he continued.  "He proved to me 
that...it did not matter how many mistakes you make in life.  Only how you 
admit to them, by being honest and never blaming others for what  you have 
done."   Taking a deep breath as the tears began to fall, he added,  "Tom 
gave his life for me. And I will spend the rest of my life remembering his  
unselfishness."  Turning around he walked over to where Tom rested and said  
through his tears, "I'll be sitting on the dock of the bay. Watching the tide  
roll away." 
     Kes was in tears way before he finished. She walked up to Harry and 
hugged  him. Wrapping his arms around her, he began to cry harder. 
     Kathryn's eyes were flooded with tears as were Chakotay's. Only Tuvok 
and  B'Elanna were not crying. Tuvok was a Vulcan, and there were emotions, 
they were  deeply hidden.  B'Elanna's face was void, neutral of any emotions. 
     Neelix stepped up to the front of the room. He just didn't look right,  
dressed in a bright blue shirt with white flowers. "Tom Paris was a good 
friend  who I will miss deeply. He always complained about my cooking, told 
bad jokes,  but that did not change our friendship. At first we did not get 
along. I was  jealous of him, of his natural charm. I thought he was just too 
cocky. Then  certain events made me see the mistake I was making. I judged 
him, for his  brashness, his attitude and his carelessness for those around 
him. Then when we  needed him the most, gone was my judgement of him. I saw 
him in a different  light and we became friends. I will always remember Mr. 
Paris."   Neelix  finished and sighed as he sat down at the table. He could 
not bring himself to  remember Tom laying in that casket. He would rather 
remember Tom as he was. 
      Tuvok walked to the front of the room. He was dressed in his starfleet  
uniform. Tropical was not his style.  He looked around the room in the 
typical  Vulcan style and began to speak of Tom. "Over the course of the 
years, I have  had the chance to know each and everyone of the crew. Mr. 
Paris will always  stand out in my mind. Not only for his bad sense of humor, 
but for his abilities  as a pilot and a friend. I will never forget Tom 
Paris."  A typical Vulcan.   He  paid his respects to Tom and walked to the 
table to sit down. 
     B'Elanna quietly walked to the front of the room. She was dressed in her  
pineapple sundress. Tom once mentioned she looked...festive. She wished she 
felt  like she looked.  "I will miss Tom. He always challenged me as to who I 
am, what I am capable of  doing."  She began feeling quite foolish. "He made 
me laugh and could deal with  my...Klingon side. He made me feel.....needed."    
Turning around, she stood  next to where Tom rested.  "No one's ever known me 
better. You know I will love  you all my life."   She then made a hasty exit 
from the front of the room.  She caught Chakotay's look of approval and 
nodded. He understood. 
     B'Elanna continued to look on. She didn't want everyone to know that she  
was still saying good-bye to Tom. *Did I fall in love for nothing?  I will 
never  get the chance to hold your body in the moonlight. I know your gone, 
but did you  have to leave me like this?*

     The holo Doc was decked out in the tropical fashion also. He looked like 
a  tourist in his white shirt dotted with palm trees, as he began to speak. 
"Mr.  Paris has graced my sickbay more than any other member of this crew. He 
lived  life to the fullest, never thinking about what could happen. He was 
busy living  in the moment. And he showed me that living for something or 
someone good or  bad, was what life was about. I will not forget him."

     Chakotay claimed the space in front of the room. He always hated these  
things. His tropical shirt was not "loud" like the others, more like a soft 
blue  sky dotted with clouds. 
     "I visited my animal guide last night. I was lost, confused and sad. We 
all  make sacrifices every day, to ourselves or to others. Tom's sacrifice 
was to  others. He knew the price and was willing to pay it. At first Tom and 
I didn't  get along too well. I thought he was self righteous, only caring 
about himself.  I could not connect with him.  But time passed and I slowly 
began to see  something more about Tom. His love for flying, this ship and 
the people on it. I  was just beginning to understand him and what he was 
about."   Holding back the  tears that threatened to fall, "I had a vision. A 
vision of a young man running  through fields of tall swaying grass. His 
laughter filling, echoing the wind as  it blew. He can close his eyes, he is 
going home." 
     A silence feel over the room as a tear feel down Chakotay's face. 
Quietly  he left the front of the room to stand by Kathryn. She reached out 
and squeezed  his hand in a gesture of comfort. 
     Making her way to the front, once again, she looked upon the room of  
people, friends, who  came to pay their respects. Now it was her turn. 
     "This is a part of the job that gets harder and harder each time. Saying  
good-bye to a comrade and a friend. I'm proud to say that Tom Paris was my  
friend. I knew from the moment I met him, I did not make a mistake in 
bringing  him to Voyager. He might have been a cocky, egotistical young man. 
But he was a  young man with a past that haunted him everyday of his life. I 
believe in second  chances and gave Tom that second chance. He proved to me, 
that people can  change. Make a difference in the future and live with the 
past."  Kathryn closed  her eyes as the tears fell. Taking a deep breath, she 
continued. "I will miss  his comments that he thought I could not hear. Miss 
his bad jokes that usually  irritated me during a crisis. But most of all, I  
will miss his smile and his  presence on the bridge."  By then the tears fell 
freely down her face.  The room  shared in the loss of Tom Paris, but shared 
in the happy times in which he was  part of.
    B'Elanna jumped out of bed like she had been shot. Her heart racing at 
warp  speed and trickles of sweat rolling down her face. Tangled around her 
feet was  the teal blanket that she slept under. On the bed, was the teddy 
bear, Tom's  teddy bear. 
     Her mind fused. She couldn't think or begin to sort out what the hell 
was  going on. Shaken up, she bent down and picked up the blanket. Smelling 
it, she  could smell Tom's scent. This was Tom's blanket. She rubbed her face 
on the soft  material and sat down on the bed, reaching for the teddy bear. 
Hugging it close  to her, she stood up and demanded, "Computer. Location on 
Tom Paris." 
     "Tom Paris is in holodeck two."  Came the computers crisp reply.  
B'Elanna  asked again, "Computer. Location of Tom Paris."    The computers 
reply was the  same. 
     B'Elanna Torres ran out of her quarters with a blanket and a teddy bear.

     Tom Paris was laughing among the tall blowing grass. The sunlight added  
more color to his blonde hair and made his eyes sparkle like the ocean. He  
wondered through the tall grass as it tickled his bare legs. Bringing back  
memories of a long time ago. The wind blew through the field, ruffling his  
already messed up hair. 
     Stopping to smell the wild flowers growing by the tree, a slight 
movement  caught his attention. Smiling, he choked back a chuckle.

     B'Elanna opened the door to the holodeck and stepped in. All she could 
see  before her were miles of tall grass blowing in the wind. The sun was 
high above  in the clear blue sky. In the middle of this endless field, was a 
tree. A huge  tree that could not be missed for miles around. 
     Transfixed, she looked out over the vastness. Chakotay had said he saw a  
vision of a young man running through the fields of tall swaying grass. Her 
mind  began to scream. *No! This can't be!*   She heard laughter. Tom's 
laughter to be  exact. 
     Determined to slowly kill the person who was playing this program, she  
stepped further into the tall grass, with the blanket and teddy bear.

     Tom liked playing hide and seek in tall grass. He always liked to hide, 
but  also like to find others that hid too. He could never get enough of this 
game.  Smiling, he thought, *I'm home.*  Sometimes he just liked to listen to 
the wind as it blew through the grass. The  soft noise brought comfort to his 
senses and to his heart.

     B'Elanna's anger quickly mounted the closer she got to the tree. *Oh,  
someone was going to die!*  She didn't find anyone by the tree. Looking up 
into  the branches above, she didn't see anyone up there. 
     Diving into the tall grass, she followed the voice to the source. The 
grass  made her legs itch, as she closed in on the person. Bursting through 
the grass  she yelled, "You have the nerve...." 
     Stopping in mid sentence, her mouth fell open. *This couldn't be!*  Her  
mind screamed.

     Tom looked at B'Elanna like she had lost her mind. Judging by the night  
clothes and his blanket and teddy bear, she might have already lost her mind. 
     "B'Elanna?  What are you doing here?"  He asked confused by her presence  
here.  She slowly walked closer to him to make sure that this was a 
holographic  projection of Tom Paris. 
     "Ouch!!  B'Elanna!"  He yelped as she pinched him on the arm. She went 
to  the next step. 
     "Computer. Delete the image of Tom Paris."  She stated. Nothing 
happened.

     He gave her a questioning look, "B'Elanna?  Are you okay?"    She looked  
into those blue eyes and began to feel more confused than ever. 
     "Are you alive?"  She asked uncertain of his answer.  Ready to answer 
her  question, he quickly turned around and snatched the little girl who 
thought she  was sneakier than he was. Swinging her around in the air, and 
holding her in his  arms. He answered her question. 
     "Yes, I am alive. Hope to be for a long time."  He smiled as Tabitha  
Wildman stuck a flower behind his ear and laughed. She had blonde hair like 
her  mother and Katarian ridges like her father. 
     B'Elanna shook her head. This was way too confusing.  Tom was dead...or 
was  he?

     Tabitha looked at B'Elanna and asked, "Bedtime?"   The blanket and teddy  
bear gave her the idea it was time for bed. Tom laughed and replied, "Not for 
a  couple of hours yet kiddo."  Turning back to B'Elanna, he began to worry. 
This was not like her. 
     "B'Elanna, want to tell me what is wrong?"  He asked softly, seeing the  
confusion in her face. 
     "If your not busy."  She said still not sure if this was real or not.  
Tom  smiled and put Tabitha on the ground. "Okay kiddo, go get some of those 
pretty  flowers and we will replicate them."  Giving Tom a huge smile, she 
ran off to  get those flowers. 
     Turning his attention back to B'Elanna, he sat down on the ground by the  
tree and patted the space next to him. Clutching the blanket and teddy, she 
sat  down next to him. Tom gave her sometime to talk. He was not going to 
push her. 
     Looking at him, she began. "I woke up with this blanket and teddy bear 
in  my bed and a ache in my heart. I went into the bathroom to splash some 
water on  my face. I looked up and you were standing there. I realized you 
couldn't be  there because you were dead. You died saving Harry's life on a 
away mission."

     Tom listened as she continued on. This was interesting. She closed her 
eyes  and began to recall more of the..experience. "Harry, Tuvok and myself 
stood over  your dead body. There was nothing we could do for you. The energy 
blast from  that phaser killed you instantly. Then there was the funeral and 
everyone talked  about how much they were gonna miss you and how much you 
ment to them. It was  like it actually happened. The feeling, emotions were 
real, tangible. Everybody  was crying, except for me and Tuvok."  Tom raised 
an eyebrow at that last  statement. B'Elanna didn't cry for him? 
     She fidgeted with the teddy bear before going on. "You came back to me  
because I did not cry for you. You took me back to the time you got killed."

     Tom put his arm around her. She didn't punch is lights out, just leaned  
against him. "Tell me that you didn't die and it was all a dream. And I 
wasn't  saying good-bye to you."   Soft chuckling made B'Elanna look at Tom 
in anger. 
     "Whoa, there Lanna. You have a very active imagination. No, I did not 
die  and it was a dream."  He said reassuring her. "You must be exhausted. 
You  haven't been asleep for that long." 
     She looked up at him, "What?"   He grinned back, "You don't remember  
passing out in engineering, after being up for 36 hours straight with out  
eating?"  Still she gave him a blank look. "And I thought Klingons had a good  
memory."  He smirked. 
     Tabitha Wildman came back with a arm load of flowers. "Look...Tommy, 
lots  of flowers!"  He laughed, "I'd say so. Did you leave any for others?"   
She gave him a look  that only a three year old could muster up, "I can get 
some more!" 
     "No...we have enough."  He said handing B'Elanna some. "Tabitha, lets go  
tuck B'Elanna into bed and you can tell her a bed time story."   Tabitha  
brightened up, "I love telling stories!!"
      Reaching out for B'Elanna's  hand, Tabitha helped pull her up and 
picked up the bear she dropped. Looking at  Tom, B'Elanna grinned, "Baby-
sitting?"   Tom smiled as they left the holodeck,  "Something wrong with 
that?"  "No....not really."  She said feeling  uncomfortable. Tom explained, 
"Samantha is helping Neelix out in the kitchen.  Something about a new 
breakfast menu. She asked me if I wouldn't mind watching  Tabitha for a 
while." 
     Deep down inside, her heart began to resume a normal rhythm. And her 
mind  slowly began to accept that this was not a dream. That Tom was real and 
alive.

     Tom could sense something else, but decided now was not the time to 
pursue  it. B'Elanna was tired and wasn't playing with a full deck. The joker 
being one  the missing cards. 
     Walking through the corridors, she glanced at Tom, "How did I get your  
blanket and teddy bear anyway?"  He grinned from ear to ear. "I saved you 
from a  lengthy sleep in sickbay. The Doctor wanted to keep you there because 
you were  exhausted. I argued with him, like I always do, and he let you go. 
I figured  you'd be more comfortable in your own quarters. You complained you 
were not  sleepy and began to get cranky." His tone softened some, "When I 
was young and  didn't want to take a nap, my mother would put me in my room 
with a blanket and  teddy bear. She would tell me a story and tuck me and 
teddy in. I feel asleep  quickly." 
     B'Elanna saw his face light up at the memory. Her mother never did that 
for  her. A part of her was looking forward to being tucked in. Especially by 
Tom.  "So you tucked me in with your blanket and teddy. Did I get a story?" 
     Tom stopped outside of her quarters and grinned, "I forgot that part."

     B'Elanna was tucked into bed with the blanket and the teddy bear. Tom 
sat  at the foot of the bed while Tabitha sat beside B'Elanna. Tom couldn't 
help but  smile at the sight he saw. She did like children, he knew. Although 
she would  never tell him. 
     Looking at Tom, B'Elanna grinned, "I feel so foolish."  Tabitha picked 
up  her hand and held it between her small ones. 
     "Time for story."  She said shushing the Klingon. Tom hid a snicker 
behind  his hand. B'Elanna noticed that Tom was wearing shorts. She was going 
have to  pay more attention to him and to what he wore. *Amazing the things 
you miss when  your tired.* 
     "This story is about...friendship."  Tabitha began. "Friendship is 
forever  a promise. A promise that goes on and on and on." 
     Tom gave B'Elanna a saucy smile and she narrowed her gaze at him. He was 
a  pig. 
     "Now...Promise to be there forever. Promise to be my bestest friend. I  
promise you my heart. I promise you....lot's and lots of ice cream." 
     Tom busted out laughing and Tabitha scolded him, 
"Tommy....shhhhhhh.....I'm  doing the story!"   Tom smiled, "Sorry, Tabitha."  
"You might be."  She warned  in her best scolding tone of voice. 
     Tom glanced over at B'Elanna who was asleep. Her hand still being held 
by  Tabitha. Smiling he settled in for what was to be a good story. Providing 
there  was no leola root in it.

     B'Elanna was running through the field of grass, laughing loudly. A 
small  child following behind her. The child was determined to catch her. His 
brow  narrowed in determination, bringing out the faint Klingon ridges that 
came from  his mother. His determination was echoed in a pair of almond color 
eyes and a  grin that  belonged to his father. 
     Swiftly, a pair of arms swept the child up into the air. Swinging him 
about  in huge circles and falling to the ground with him sitting on her 
stomach. The  little boy giggled and squirmed about. 
     She held in her hands, a dream come true. "Let me tell you a story about 
a  promise."   B'Elanna began and the little one quieted down.

     "Andrew Thomas Paris, I promise to.............."
 Okay you all know the disclaimer routine. But you have to wonder.....does 
this  really mean anything?? 
     As we all know, Paramount owns more rights than you and me. That 
included  are the characters and use of them for our purposes. That should 
have a  disclaimer all of its own. 
     As usual, I have to thank the Collective for their support and feed 
back.  Even though I've been sent up the flag pole for being sadistic and 
keeping them  waiting.  It is what I live for!  Wouldn't I want to give the 
very best?