By Katherina Rosellini

Email: rosellini23@hotmail.com

Code: P/T

Rated:PG

September 2001

Synopsis:  This takes place during "Once Upon a Time" in which Tom, Samantha Wildman and Tuvok are trapped in the Delta Flyer beneath the surface of a planet.  These are some of the thoughts I imagined Tom and B'Elanna were having while he was trapped.
 
 
 
 

                                                                  Mission:  Rescue
 
 
 
 

Where is he? I can't seem to think of anything else.   I'm walking around numb.  I just keep searching with everyone else, looking for any sign of their ship, any debris, any life signs.  Anything.  Every little bleep I hear on someone's tricorder, every little noise within the rubble of this planet stirs something within me.  Is that him?  Is he thinking of me too?  Is he in pain? Is he dead?  No!  He's not dead.  If he were I could feel it.  I would know.  Tom, where are you?
 

How do you say good-bye when you know you're going to die?  How do you tell someone you love that they have to keep on going without you?  I don't know what to say to you.  I don't know how to tell you that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Thinking about you is what's been getting me through this.  I'm watching Samantha, knowing that her tears aren't due to just her physical injuries and I keep on thinking, thank God we don't have any children.  I couldn't imagine leaving them behind without a father.  Sure Naomi's father may not be with her on the ship, but she will see him ...one day.  With so many thoughts going through my head, it's hard to concentrate on just one, but with everything going through my mind I always seem to come back to you.  B'Elanna.  How do I say good-bye?  I'm not ready yet.
 
 

I can still feel you.  I can smell you on my skin, taste you on my lips.  If I close my eyes, I can feel your arms around me.  So strong.  So sure.  You make me feel safe.  Where are you?  Tom?  Tom?  Maybe if I concentrate you'll be able to sense me...maybe...God, please just give me a sign that he's all right.

"Well....How do I start?  I guess I should let you know how much you've meant to me.  I never thought that a guy like me deserved the kind of happiness I found with you.  I know I've never been good with  letting out my emotions, but I guess I always thought that there would be plenty of time.  I always assumed we would make it through anything out here.  I guess I was wrong.  You've been everything to me, B'Elanna.  You've given me so much more than anyone ever has.  There are times I wake up and look at you, and I think...I think I'm the luckiest man alive.  To be loved by you...to love you is, well...it's an honor.  I'm not afraid of dying, B'Elanna, because I can feel you.  I know you're with me.  But, hey, B'Elanna.  Look on the bright side...no more day old pizza laying around, and you'll never have to watch another chapter of Captain Proton again."

"Warning:  Life support has fallen to critical levels.

"Don't mind the computer, she's just jealous that I'm spending my last few minutes talking to you."  I just can't say good-bye to you.  "So long."

Come on crewman.  Move a little faster with that equipment.  Every second counts.  Where the hell are Chakotay and Seven?

"Chakotay!  Come on, Ensign, get this equipment set up!!  Let's go!!  Move it!!"  Don't worry, Tom.  I'm coming.  I'll be right there.

Just listening to Sam record her good-byes to Naomi is killing me.  For a minute I was grateful that you and I had never had any children, but then I thought...I wish we would have had the chance to... Christ, I miss you, B'Elanna.  I miss you.  I almost wish that the air would just run out already.  Dying would be easier then this waiting.  It's killing me.  I know you're looking for me, but you'll never be able to find me.  We're buried too deep, and our sensors aren't working.  But I know that won't stop you from finding me.  I may not be alive when you do, but I know that you'll succeed.  You always do.  Remember the first time we played pool in Sandrine's?  God, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  You thought I was a pig.  I guess I was back then.  There weren't too many qualities I was proud of about myself when we first came on board Voyager.  Actually, other than my piloting I wasn't proud of anything at all.  I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you back then.  For all of the insults...the jokes.  I didn't know how to show you how I really felt.  I was too afraid of being rejected and hurt, so I did the hurting first.  You once told me that you were a coward for not telling me how you felt about me, but I was the coward, B'Elanna.  It was me.  I was afraid.  Afraid of letting myself love you.  Afraid of showing you that love.  Now I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you...to show you.  If I could do it all over again I'd do it so much differently.  I'd never let you down.  I'd always be there for you even when you didn't want me around.  I wouldn't fight back all the time.  I wouldn't push you.  I'd accept the fact that you're not comfortable with your Klingon side, and I'd let it be.  I swear I would.  If only....Then again those just might be the reasons you love me so much.  Because I'll never give up when it comes to you, so I guess I won't be giving up now.  Hurry up and find me, Chief.

Please, God, let them be alive.  Please don't take him away from me.  I don't think I could take it.  Please?  Please?  Just let him be all right. "Almost there.  Almost..."  Oh God is that him pounding?  I'm coming, Tom.  I'm coming.
"We've got them!"
 

                                                THE END
 

Startrek Voyager and all it's characters belong to Paramount.  Shame isn't it.

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