Under The Dress                                                By                                 Betty Phipps/Aries4116@aol.comDisclaimers:  Paramount owns all!!!Premise: This picks up after "Dress Up", so read that before this.Rating: G                                      Under The Dress     After getting Naomi Wildman tucked into bed, Tom was greeted by Samantha. He knew she was trying very hard not to laugh at his appearance, but her blue eyes were swimming with laughter waiting to be voiced.          "I'm sorry Tom,"  Samantha said with a smile. "I just never thought I would see you in a dress."          "That is okay,"  he said looking down at his attire. "I like to give  people a shock every then and again."          "I'd say so,"  she laughed. "Thanks for watching Naomi."          "No problem,"  he said with a grin.           "You could change if you want,"  Sam offered.          "Well....,"  Tom laughed. "I thought I would parade around the corridors, showing off my assets on my way to my quarters."          "Be careful,"  Sam warned. "A certain engineer might get angry."          "Not if she gets to me first,"  Tom smiled.*********************************************************************     B'Elanna slowly walked down the corridors, lost in her thoughts.  She wondered if Tom was ever caught by his sisters when he was younger and made up by them.  She laughed to herself at the mental picture the thought painted.      She could hear his sister's oooing and ahhhing over the little blonde haired boy who was suffering by his sister's artistic flare.  She wouldn't care to bet that he loved every minute of it.      As she rounded the corner, she came into contact with a solid mass and looked up.           "Hello, B'Elanna,"  Tom said with a smile. "Fancy meeting you here."          "Tom,"  she said. "I'm sorry...I wasn't watching where I was going."   Her eyes appraised him and then locked with his blue ones.          "Something wrong?"  Tom asked with a straight face.          "Tom..."  she trailed off into a chuckle. "I don't mean to stare, but...."          "But?"  Tom said evenly.           "You might look better if you had something to fill the front of the dress out,"  she giggled.           "Well...,"  Tom said rolling his eyes. "My genetics called for me to have a flat chest and hair.  Naomi was more than happy to offer me a bra."     B'Elanna began laughing and leaned on Tom who watched the half Klingon, wipe tears from her eyes.  He was not going to live this down. Never in the rest of his lifetime. Or the after life for that matter. There would be some entity to remind him of this moment.           "I'm...sorry....,"  she gasped. "I can't seem to get this mental picture of you wearing a bra out of my mind."          "Glad I could amuse you,"  he smiled.  "Can I borrow one of your bras?"     B'Elanna held her stomach as the pain of laughing began to hurt. She had never laughed so much in a while.  Picturing Tom in on of her bras was more icing on the cake.           "Are.....(gasp)...you go...(gasp)ing to clean up?"  she rushed out before she couldn't breathe anymore.          "Well...,"  he began. "I thought I would walk around some, find Seven and ask her about wearing heels....."      B'Elanna replied by leaning against the wall and bending over. She felt as if her ribs were going to explode from all this laughing.           "You don't laugh like this,"  Tom said.           "Never....had....anything...to laugh at....,"  she said between laughs.           "Tom, B'Elanna,"  Chakotay said as he stopped. "Isn't B'Elanna suppose to be wearing the dress?   I mean...you do a good job of filling it out, but..."          "My butt too big?"  Tom said turning to look at his butt.      B'Elanna slid down the wall gasping for air.  It was way too funny to see Tom stick his butt out and look at it.  It was funny just to see him in a dress...period.           "Are you going to survive, B'Elanna?"  Chakotay asked with a smile.           "Not oxygen deprivation,"  she replied.           "God...my butt does stick out!"  Tom exclaimed. "What do you think Chakotay?"          "Dangerous question Tom, "  Chakotay said glancing at his backside. "Maybe you should ask B'Elanna or the Delaney sisters."          "Seven!"  B'Elanna busted out in another fit of laughter.           "Lt. Torres, Paris, Commander Chakotay,"  Seven said mono tone. "Is everything all right?"          "Why do you ask?"  Chakotay grinned at the half Human and half Borg.          "Well, Lt. Torres looks like she is hyperventilating and Lt. Paris is in need of a beauty make over,"   Seven said.       B'Elanna was practically laying on the floor, banging her hands. Her lungs were burning and her stomach was in knots.  Chakotay snickered and coughed. He was trying real hard not to bust out laughing. It was becoming the hardest thing not to do.      Seven looked to Chakotay and then to Tom and then to B'Elanna, "Should I call the Doctor?"     Chakotay erupted in laughter and patted Tom on the back. Tom in turn looked at B'Elanna who was down and out for the count.  It was something to see B'Elanna floored.           "Tom, why are you not laughing?"  Seven asked still a little lost.           "I'm laughing inside,"  Tom smiled. "Besides I have already laughed at myself."          "If you don't mind me saying,"  Seven said seriously. "You are not anatomically correct to wear that dress."     Chakotay wiped the tears from his eyes with the palms of his hands, "I'm never going to breathe again."  B'Elanna knew she was never going to laugh again.          "If you stop laughing, you will,"  Tom said dryly.           "As I was saying,"  Seven continued. "That bulge......"     Seven was interrupted by Chakotay and B'Elanna who were gasping for air at the comment that was about to be made.           "I know...."  Tom said with a smile. ".....what you mean."                    "Is everything okay?"  Captain Janeway asked when she saw her first officer and chief engineer practically on the floor.           "Great...just ducky,"  Tom smiled. "I'm just amusing my friends here."          "Having a hard time getting out of that dress, are we?"   Janeway looked him up and down. "I must say...you do look good in that kind of dress."          "My butt is a bit too big,"  Tom added and watched Janeway check him out a little closer.           "I have some exercises that might help that problem,"  Janeway couldn't keep the smile and laughter out of her voice. "I'm sorry, Tom."          "That is okay,"  Tom replied watching  Chakotay and B'Elanna turn shades of red. "My time is coming for revenge."          "Revenge,"  Seven began. "Is best served cold."     The laughing stopped and all looked at Seven. Talk about stopping the show.           "Where did you hear that?"  Janeway asked.          "I am not certain,"  Seven began. "I must be careful and not listen to the Doctor when he is in need of tune up."     Tom began to laugh along with Janeway, Chakotay and B'Elanna. Seven looked at them with a strange look. Humans were strange in many ways. Humor was difficult to understand.           "I must be going,"  Seven said. "Good evening."   She turned to leave.           "Tweaking,"  B'Elanna howled out. "I've got to tweak his program."          "Fix his wagon,"  Janeway added with a laugh.           "Buffer him,"  Tom added with a smile.           "Fix his holo emitter,"  Chakotay added.      Harry Kim walked down the corridor towards his quarters when he saw the quartet in the corridor.          "Be careful Tom,"  Harry said. "This could become a habit, just like the one you have for being in sickbay."     Janeway hid a laugh while Chakotay and B'Elanna let it out.           "By the way,"  Harry added with a sweet grin. "Lose the butt and the bulge and your all set."          "Harry is right, Tom,"  Janeway laughed.           Tom sighed. He was never going to live this down, might as well go all out. Without a word, he began to unzip the dress. Four pairs of eyes grew wide in disbelief.         "What are you doing?!"  B'Elanna asked.         "Undressing is not cool,"  Harry said. "Not in the corridors that is."         "I'm...going...."  Tom said as he struggled from the confining fabric. "....to take this off."     What was reviled, made all laugh.   Tom was not embarrassed in any way. He was way past that emotion. He swore some of Tuvok's calmness has rubbed off on him.           "If you will excuse me,"  Tom said with a smile. "I have to take my make up off before I go to bed. Don't want to ruin my beautiful skin."   With that he turned around and walked away.      B'Elanna laid back down on the floor and began laughing again, "Now I know what he wears under his uniform."            "I'm going to have nightmares,"  Harry said in awe.  "I just never figured Tom...."            "Me neither,"  Janeway said with a laugh. "I was thinking more...uhhh....."            "Proper?"  Chakotay added with a cough.             "Briefs would be proper,"  Janeway smiled.             "Pants would be proper,"  Harry added.             "Boxers are proper,"  B'Elanna chimed in from below.            "Plain regulation boxers that is,"  Chakotay said. "I don't think black silk boxers covered in big red lips qualify for regulation."            "Is that what was on them?"  Harry questioned.             "Looks like more than one person has...."   Janeway was cut off in mid sentence by Chakotay.             "I don't think you want to go down that road,"  the commander said. "We don't want to start any rumors."                 Laughter filled the corridor.           The end.