Disclaimers: I don't own Gary Hobson and friends, Armstrong, Erica, Marissa, Henry, Snow, Lois,or  Bernie. They all belong to Sony Tri Star and CBS, and to the extremly smart people who came up with the concept. Hey, I'm 12, the most expensive thing I own is a Walter Payton football card.

Spoilers: If you haven't seen "Fate," none of this will make sense. Maybe a few from parental episodes, "Dad," "Don't Walk Away, Renee," The Fourth Carpathian, but I'm not sure yet.

Rating: PG. Mild swearing, no romance or anything though. ANGST ALERT. ANGST ALERT!!!!  Nothing light and cheery here.

This story is all about "Fate." When Gary goes into the factory, waiting to die, I was crying. A few weeks ago, I got the idea for a story concept. When Snow is talkiong to Gary, he says, "Count the living, not the dead." Then, Gary decided to go on with his life. But, what if he had said, "No, let me die." That's what this story is centered around. Snow showing Gary things from his past, long forgotten, and things from a future without Gary Hobson. Like "It's a Wonderful Life," EE style. Enjoy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Things Forgotten
by Mary Hobson

Chapter 1

   I'm so sick and tired of being admired,
   that sometimes I wish I would just die
  or get fired.
    -Eminem
**************

    "Uh, it's me... I was hopin' to catch you and.. but you're not in, so I'll leave a message, I guess. Uh, I was just... I was just thinkin' about you both... and I wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you. That's all. Bye."

    Gary's parents. They'd be real sad when he was gone. But, Gary knew what he had to do. Those were the words... the words he had spoken just a short time ago to his parent's answering machine. "It's time," Gary said, as he took one long, last look at the world he had once known. The fountain, McGinty's, the diner on the corner, the courthouse, they flashed into his mind, numbing it, trying to avoid the pain and suffering of the past couple days. Gary walked into the carpet factory, laid himself on the ground, and waited to die.

   How many times? How many times had he tried to forget? But, it wasn't that easy. These kind of things don't just go away. Things were never that easy, especially for Gary. "Jeremiah, oh, God," Gary said, feeling the tears spring to his eyes. "I don't deserve to live," he screamed. And the boards fell, and he felt the pain ripping through him. But, he welcomed the pain, needed the pain. As the bards slammed at his body he felt the rage seeping out, his heart beating a mile a minute. The pain was feeding fuel to his angry heart.

  "Lousy day to die, huh?"

-----------------------

   Bernie Hobson stood up, and stretched his arms. After hours and hours of boring vacation slides at Mrs. Antoinelli's house, he was ready for a game on the tube, some gnocchi, and a brewski.

  "Thanks again," said Lois politely, stifling a yawn.

   Bernie wondered how she could be so polite after all that. He scratched his head. "Yeah, uh, thanks," he called, as they walked out the door. He breathed a sigh of relief as they reached 124 Grove St. "I could kiss this ground," said Bernie, opening th door.

   "Oh, Bernie, stop. It wasn't so bad," insisted Lois.

  "Oh, and this is the gum that got stuck to the bottom of my shoe on the way up Bunker Hill," he said sarcastically.

  "She was nowhere near Bunker Hill!" Excalimed Lois. "She was in Florida!"

   Bernie held up his hands in defense. "So sue me, after two slided I sorta tuned out."

   Lois shook her head in exasperation. She went to replace the coats and on the way saw the blinking red light on the answering machine. She hit 'Play.' Bernie stood beside her, taking a sip of beer. They heard Gary's voice and smiled, but frowned, noticing the sadness and remorse thick in his voice.

  "I think we should call Gary," Bernie said. "Somethings wrong, I can feel it.

------------------

   "Count the living, Gary, not the dead."

   Gary had flashes. The little girl in the freezer, Henry... no, no, no. "I deserve to die. I let Jeremiah die, now its my turn..." Gary broke off onto sobs.

  Snow nodded. "Then my job isn't done."

   "Just let me die," Gary screamed. "Let God take me now." He felt hollow inside, his heart was broken and this wasn't about some puppy love crush broken heart it was sorrow and despair broken heart.

   "People care about you," said Snow. "Admire you, depend on you."

   "I don't deserve to be admired. He trusted me, and I couldn't hang on, and now, now, Jeremiah Mason is d-dead. I need to die." Sadness washed over him, sorrow clinging to every pore.

   "Then it's my job to show you why you should live," said Snow, simply. "Things from your past, long forgotten, things from a future if this scene plays out as it normally would without me here."

   "Nothing can make me change my mind, you hear me," Gary screamed. "Everybody thinks they're so f---ing smart, and they can tell me how to feel, well they can't. Just put me out of my misery. Nothing you can do, nothing!"

   "We'll see," said Snow. There was a blinding flash of light, and they were no longer in the carpet factory, no longer in Chicago.
----------------

   "He's alive, I know it," said Marissa. "I'd know if he was... gone."

Erica hugged Marissa. "He has to be," said Erica, though a nagging fear in her mind said otherwise. It would take a miracle for him to survive. "But," she thought. "Gary is a miraculos man." She wished that Gary would come out, and kiss her and tell her it would be okay. She wanted to feel his soft lips pressed against hers, in a gentle bliss. But, was he even alive?
 

Chapter 2

Don't think I can take another empty moment
Don't think I can fake another hollow smile,
It's not enough just to be sorry,
Don't think I can take another talk about it.
      -Matchbox 20
*************

 They weren't in Chicago, but the new setting was familiar to Gary. When he  was grounded for sneaking out, and all he could do was stare at the wall, when he woke up on cold winter mornings to his father pulling up the shades.  His room, Hickory. Not how it looked now, but many years before. A tattered red baseball cap hung atop a wooden baseball bat, tucked in the corner. A  football phone by the bed, toy cars strewn across  the floor, a cardboard shoe box, made as a crude car  garage. A long time ago. Memories.

   "It's your past," said Snow.

  Gary whirled to face him. "Why are you dong this to me?" He demanded.

"I told you, Gary, you can't fight fate, it's not your fault."

  "Can't fight fate? Dammit, every day for the past three years I've changed fate, and now you wanna tell me it's impossible?" He screamed in rage.  "Fate is just a lame excuse for failure. Just leave me alone, and let me die." He felt hot tears spring to his eyes.

  "What about your parents? What about  what they want? They care for you." His eyes  flashed, as if in remmeberance of his own parents.

  As if on cue, the door opened, and his parents walked in. Much younger versions, Bernie's hair showed no traces of gray. They looked younger than Gary at present. Bernie held a much younger Gary in his arms.

   Gary examined his own self, many years ago. His hair was matted down, and his face sweaty, he appeared to be sick. His face was pale, his eyes were a sickly green, and he hels a weak grin. He looked about six years old. Gary almost cried at the
 sight. Why did Snow have to do this to him? The scene began to play out before his eyes.

  "You okay,Gar," Bernie asked his young son.

Gary groaned as Bernie laid him on his bed, starightening the sheet. "Sure, Daddy, I'm fine."

  Bernie smiled. "That's my boy."

  Lois put a hand to Gary's sweaty head.   "Are you sure you're okay, Gary? You could always come to bed with us, you don't look so good," she said, her voice thick with concern.

  "I'll be okay," said the young boy,Gary.

  "Do you want Vinny with you?" Lois asked, holding up a brown stuffed monkey, slightly tattered.  Gary nodded, and Lois handed him the monkey. He snuggled up next to it, as if feeling better with just the smell of spices that came with the monkey.

   He sighed, deeply. "Night Mommy, night Daddy. I love you," he said quietly.

   Bernie kissed his cheek, and looked at him, lovingly.

  "Night, Gar. Be brave buddy, you'll feel better soon." He ruffled Gary's hair a bit. "Love you, short man." He stood in the doorway.

   Lois stroked Gary's hair. "Goodnight, honey." She kissed his forehead. "I love you, Gary," said Lois, and they flicked off the light, and left the room.

  Gary turned to face Snow. "What are you trying to do to me? Guilt me into living? Well, it's too late. My tickit's been punched, it's my turn."

  Snow remained calm. "Your parents care about you more than you'll ever know. Do they deserve to be hurt?" He raised his eyebrows, quizzically.

"No!" Gary cried. "They don't. But, the world's better off without me. If I live, I'll be living a lie." His voice dropped. "I can't just put on a smile, and get over it. It's not that easy."

  Snow nodded. "I know. Been down that road once myself. I know how you feel." He tried to calmly persuade Gary.

  "You don't know s---t!" Gary shouted, not caring anymore. "He trusted me with his life, and I failed. I couldn't hold on, and now an innocent man is dead, now can you explain to me how I can just turn the other cheek, and forget about it? Every day..." He broke  off, but continued shakily. "Every day, Chicago depends on me, and I let him die. I failed. Lost. Game over. Life was fun, but it's gotta end. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, you know how it is." He broke off into sobs, while his young self
 slept peacefully.

 ----------
 

Lois dialed Gary's private number. "Hey, it's Gary. You can tell by now not in, but whatever you have to say the answering machine will be glad to hear. I'll call back later, if you're lucky." There was a pause and a beep.

   "Gary, honey, it's Mom and Dad. We got your  message, and, um, are you okay? We're worried about you. You know if you have any problems, you can call us. Please call back. Bye, sweetie." She hung up.

  "He's not home."   Bernie grabbed the phone. "Maybe he's at McGinty's." He dialed, and prayed to God, Gary was there, for the sake of his sanity, and Lois's jittery nerves.  After two rings somebody picked up.

   "McGinty's. Patrick Quinn, at your service."

  "Is Gary Hobson there?" Bernie asked.

  "Mr. H? I don't think so. Let me check. Uh, who's calling?"

  "His father," Bernie replied. While Patrick went to check for Gary, Bernie filled Lois in. "One of the bar tenders went to look for him."  Lois nodded biting her nails nervously.

  "Mr.Hobson?" Bernie snapped into attention.

  "Yeah?"

  "He's not here, and Marissa and Erica left right after the news. Well, Mr. H hardly hangs around here. Always off with that paper in his back pocket." There was a rustling. "There is this note..." he trailed off.

   "What does it say?" Bernie asked curiously.

  Patrick hesitated, knowing how Mr. H craved privacy, but figuring it was his father and he probably wouldn't mind, began to read. "If anything happens to me.." he trailed off. "Never mind," he said quickly.

   "What does it say?" demanded Bernie.

  "Well, it says uh, if anything happens to me, full ownership of McGinty's bar goes to Marissa Clark." He swallowed. "It's uh, a new employee policy. Everybody's gotta write a will, and uh, stuff."

  Bernie let it soak in. He opened his   mouth, and paused. Then he started again. "Was he okay last time you saw him?"

  "Yeah, okay. A little down. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him for awhile. I heard Ms. Clark and Erica trying to talk
  to him, and he wouldn't listen or something. Is there anything I can do for you?" Patrick asked politely.

   "Just tell him to call when he gets back," said Bernie, worry overcoming him.

  "No problem. Bye."

"Uh, bye."

  Bernie hung up. He saw Lois, who was as nervous as a cow in a slaughter house, and knew he couldn't tell her about the note. She worried about Gary 24\7 even before she knew Gary got the paper. "He's not there, but he seemed okay last time he was seen."

 "I'm   really worried now," said Lois, her voice trembling.

  Bernie hugged her close. "I'm sure he's okay," he said, hoping Lois didn't hear him start to pray softly.
 

Chapter 3

I ain't never had a friend like you
and I hope we stay together,
some how we're going to make it through,
and you'll be my friend forever.
    -Sammie
*******

 Large tears filled Gary's mud puddle green eyes. He blinked, taking in the new surroundings. A crowded school yard. His old elementry school. He saw himself, a tall handsome, shy, 6th grader. Something about that day struck a chourd in Gary's mind.

  "Can you remember?" Snow walked in front of him. "What about your friends?" He gestured to the scene at hand and Gary watched.

  Gary could remember the day. It was always in his head, replaying. 6th grade. Chuck's first day, first year in Hickory. huck was the shortest, making him a bully magnet.

  A big, hulking boy was pushing Chuck around. "Hey Fishbein, grow any shorter today?" He sneered.

  "Shut up," was Chuck's only defense.

   "What new kid going to go cry to his mommy.' Mommy, Mommy, big mean kids were picking on me." The boy jabbed his buddy in the stomach. "What a dork."

  "I don't think it's your place to say anything Eugene," said a voice, Gary.

  The boy turned to him. They were about the same height, but Gary was much stronger in build, and could take him down easily. He was also very popular and kids would back him up.

  "What you talkin' 'bout, pretty boy?" Eugene dmenaded, obviously nervous.

  "Why don't you leave him alone, go find someone you're own size." Gary said, standing up to full height.

  "You gonna make me, pretty boy?"

   "The names Gary Hobson, not pretty boy, nimrod. Now leave him alone."

  Gary watched as Eugene left, and Gary turned to talk to Chuck. It meant nothing to him.

  "Thanks man," said Chuck. "I coulda handled it."

   Gary looked at the short, weasly kid. "I'm sure you could've," he said wioth no sarcasm. "No problem, any time."

  "I'm Chuck, Chuck Fishman."

   Gary held out his hand. "Gary Hobson."

   Chuck nodded. "I know. You're all my cousin Tracy can talk about. 'Oh, Gary Hobson does this and that, oh, he's so cute, and all her friends say the same thing. You're the big jock in town, right?"

  Gary blushed. "I play a couple sports." He fidgeted. "Uh, wanna come to my house and look at my baseball cards?"

  Chuck grinned. "As long as I can stay for dinner."

  Gary broke into a grin. "My mom's a great cook," he replied.

  "Great, I'll bring my model airplanes. Where do you live?"

  "124 Grove street," Gary said.

   "Sure, wow. I never thought I'd find a best friend my first day here." He ran a hand through his blonde hair, and his blue eyes twinkled.

  "Best friends," Gary repeated, and nodded. "Yeah, best friends," and they walked together to 124 Grove street.

  "From that day on, you promised to be best friends forever." Snow shook his head. "Do you wanna give that up?"

  "Chuck left. He's in Hollywood, forgot all about me, I'm just Gary what's-his-name. He's moved on, and so should I. I'm owning up to my mistake, I'm dying. The wrold is better off without me, everyone is, Chuck proved that."

  "Chuck needs you. That's not how it is at all."

  "What do you know? Huh? You don't know," Gary cried. "I just want to wake up and have nothing to worry about. To be a regular American male, not give a damn about the other guy, sit at home and watch the Bears.  I can't pretend I don't know what I did. I can't pretend the future doesn't exsist in my present. It's impossible."

  "You've affected alot of lives. If you hadn't known Marissa, she would have been dating that killer, Jeffrey, and Chuck would have been hit by a car," said Snow, his eyes searching Gary's looking for a shread of hope to hang on to. "And if you're gone, you'll affect alot more lives. Just let me show you, the past we'll see later. There's something you should know about Chuck if you died."

  "What could be so bad?" he demanded. "Chuck doesn't give a damn about me, if he had he would have stayed in Chicago."

  "If he didn't give a damn about you, then he wouldn't commit suicide because you died."

  "Wha..." Gary started, not believing his ears, but he was cut off by a bright yellow light, and a change of scenary.
 

Chapter 4

Voices in my head,keep telling me to go to church,
Saying the Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
Dreaming of windows, black tinted like a hurst,
When waking up to life sometimes seems worst
And all I ever wanted was to be a better man
For me to save the world I don't understand
How did I become the leader of a billion men?
     -R. Kelly.
*******

 They were in an office building of some sort. Gary saw a sign on the wall, "Fishman Production Co." A small plaque beneath it read: "In loving memory of Gary Hobson. A respected man, a great friend." Gary swallowed a lump in his throat.

  "You need to see this," said Snow, and he pushed open a door. There was Chuck, tears streaming down his cheeks, standing by his computer, printing something. He put the document in an envelope, and placed it on his desk. He wiped the tears from his eyes.

  "Betsy," he called to his secreatary. "I'm uh, going to lunch."

  Betsy, the young, pretty blonde looked at Chuck in concern. "Sure, Mr. Fishman. Are you okay?" Betsy asked, noticing his eyes were red rimmed and crying.

  "Fine, Betsy. Oh, and cancel all my appointments for today," said Chuck. He grabbed his suade jacket, hat, and keys, and left.

  "He's never been the same since his best friend died," muttered Betsy after he had gone. She shook her head. She worried about Mr. Fishman. He seemed quite depressed for a guy with such a successful tv show like "Early Edition," the show about a guy who gets tomorrow's newspaper today. She shrugged, and left.

  Snow picked up the envelope Chuck had addressed off the desk. In bold letters on the envelope it said 'Marissa Clark, c\o McGinty's Chicago Illinois.' He handed it to Gary. Gary looked up at him, his eyes two green pools of sorrow and despair. He ripped open the envelope, and pulled out a single sheet of computer paper. He was shocked at what he was reading.

  Dear Marissa,
    Goodbye, for life. I can't go on living like this,
I'm too depressed. Ever since Gary's been gone,
nothings been the same. I realize that my time has
come, now. Funny, I figured the day I went crazy and
killed myself would never come. But, I guess now I
don't have to worry about Gary running up with his
paper because he knew what I was going to do. I guess,
in a way, it's the way Gary died that's breaking me
up. To think Gary saved all those lives, and just one
life lost brought him over the edge, and made him
suicidal.

  Without Gary in my life my life is not right. He
saved my butt, countless times, starting from the
first day I met him, and he got the school bully off
my back, and invited me over to dinner. I was never
thankful. I'd embarass Gary on purpose, or rope him
into getting me on a double date with him and two
women who didn't speak English, while he wanted to
date someone he could have a conversation with. Gary
was the most humble, unselfish man I ever knew, and
losing him was like losing a part of me.

  I was selfish. I bailed out on him chasing a pot of
gold at the end of the rainbow. I blame myself, if I
had been there, none of this would have ever happened.

  My TV series about a guy who gets tomorrow's
newspaper today is a smash hit, two thumbs up, highest
rated show on the market. I found an actor, Kyle
Chandler who looks and acts so much like Gary,
sometimes I find myself calling him 'Gar.' Nobody
minds that the character's name is Gary Hobson, the
show is dedicated to him after all.

  Marissa, I just want to say that I love you, you are
a great friend, and I'll miss you, no doubt. If I
spend another minute with a hollow smile, I'll go
nuts. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. I never
thought the paper would drive me crazy, but apparently
it did, I'm writing a letter to a blind lady. Marissa,
I'm sorry, I'll never forget you, but I know what I
have to do, and even you can't talk me out of it. Know
that what I'm doing is for the best, and tell Bernie
and Lois- they had one helluva son.
   Chuck Fishman

  Gary stood, numb with disbelief. He looked at Snow. "Chuck would never do something like this. It's a lie. It's a damn lie!"

  "How do you know?" asked Snow.

   "I wouldn't matter that much to him," said Gary his eyes flashing.

  Snow sighed. "Typical only child. Thinks nobody cares." His tone was serious now. "We're going back to the past now. We'll see what happens with Chuck later, as you don't believe me. We'll find out what he does, no, what he would do."

  "This isn't a game," said Gary feeling no more physical pain, but the emotional pain soaked through him. "Take me now. I need this. Chuck would never kill himself, now just let me go. I deserve it."

  His pleading held no avail once again, as much as Gary tried to resist, he was gone.
 

Chapter 5

It takes alot to know what is love,
It's not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough.
Alot of prayers to get me through,
And there is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you.
You were always there for me,
Pushing me and guiding me,
Always to succed.
   -Backstreet Boys
**********

  The place was loud, large, and bright. Children ran around the room. Gary remembered the place. Early Learning Center Preschool. Parents were milling around with their children, it must've been the first day.

  The glass doors opened, and Bernie and Lois came through, even younger than before. A tired looking teacher walked up to them, and held out her hand. Gary couldn't see himself. He saw Snow in the corner of the room. He squinted. It looked as if Snow was playing with play-dough. Gary shook his head. Now he's seen everything. A dead guy building a castle. He watched
the scene at hand.

  "Hi, welcome to Early Learning Center, I'm Mrs. Hargroves." The teacher held out her hand, looking as if she wanted to sleep for hours.

  "Thank you," said Lois politely. "I'm Lois, this is my husband Bernie, and this is Gary...", she looked around. "Where'd Gary go?"

  Bernie smiled and looked behind him. He saw Gary running down the hall, desparateto get away from the dreaded school. "I think I've spotted him," said Bernie, chuckling. He ran and grabbed Gary, and brought him back to the classroom.

  "I'm afraid Gary's a bit shy," said Lois, as Gary clung to his father's jeans, hiding himself from the teacher.

  "I understand," said Mrs. Hargroves. "Sometimes young children can feeln shy around new enviroments."

  Bernie chuckled. "No, Gary's just shy." Gary peered his big green eyes away from Bernie's jeans and looked cautiously at the teacher. He hid again when Mrs. Hargroves looked at him. Bernie knelt down beside him.

  "Look Short Man, it's school time now. The big leauges, we can't be around. So, you stay here and make some new friends." Gary whispered something into Bernie's ear. "No, there's nothing wrong with Steve, Joey, and the rest of the guys. They're fine."

  Gary whispered something more. Bernie laughed, and stood up. "Gary hasn't had his cootie shots. We can't put him around girls, he might get contaminated." Gary who still wouldn't look the teacher in the eye, nodded to his parents.

  Unfortunatly, at that moment a little girl with swinging brown braids skipped over to Gary.

 "Hi, I'm Jessie," she said. "And, you're my new boyfriend." Gary's eyes widened. "You're cuter than all the other boys here." Bernie couldn't suppress his laughter.

  "How sweet," commented Lois to Mrs. Hargroves.

  Before Gary could stop her, Jessie kissed his cheek. "HEEEEEEEELPPP MEEEEEE," he screamed, and ran out the door. Bernie qucikly ran after him, and returned with Gary under his arm. Gary's face was bright red with sheer humiliation. An actual girl had kissed him. He saw his friends in the corner, laughing hysterically.

  "Let me talk to him a minute," offered Bernie, and he led Gary into the hall.

  "Alright, Gar. I know you musn't have enjoyed that."

  "Gross! A girl!" Gary said.

  "Look buddy. I know you don't want to, but you have to go to school, and we can't go with you." Gary pulled on his t-shirt.

  "I guess so," he muttered, quietly.

   Bernie touched his arm. "Hey, it's not so bad," he said. "In a couple hours, we'll pick you up, 'kay, and I'll teach you how to shoot peas out of your nose like you wanted."

  Gary's face brightened. "Really?"

  Bernie looked around. "Sure. Just don't tell your mother, she'd bury me alive if she found out." Gary nodded.

  Bernie stood up. "Now, kiddo. I want you to be a man, go in there and make friends. Be brave." Gary nodded. "Alright, Gar. Knock'em dead, and kiss your girlfriend for me."

  Gary blushed. "I don't like her," he complained.

  "I know pal. Just teasing." He put his arm around Gary and they walked in together.

  Gary watched as he became the most popular 4-year old. He was the only one who knew how to charm a teacher with his big green puppy dog eyes, and innocent look, and could get whatever he wanted from Mrs. Hargroves.

  Gary didn't want to watch anymore. "Why, why, why?" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

  "What's wrong, mister?" It was.. himself. But, nobody could hear him. The four year old turned to face Gary.

  "You, you can see me?" asked Gary. He had a fleeting thought of how creepy it was to be talking to himself.

  "Of course, you're just standing there." He examined his future self, not noticing the significance of it. "You look sad, maybe I can help." He took Gary's hand, and led him to an empty room. "We'll be alone here. Now, what's wrong."

  Gary eyed himself. "You're pretty smart for a four-year old," he said tears brimming.

  "That's what Daddy says," the young boy said, and Gary burst into tears.

-------

  Bernie paced the room. That letter. It really bugged him. Gary was always a smart, level headed guy, he's never done anything stupid. He'd never been unhappy enough to do something crazy, except for when he ran away but that was when he was tweleve. Bernie ran a shaky hand through his hair. Lois was even more worried than he was and that was a hard thing to be,
and she didn't even know about the will.

  "Maybe we should go to Chicago, see how he's doing." Suggested Lois. "A mother's instinct tells me something's very wrong. Maybe we could go there and help." She looked up at Bernie.

  "No, I don't think so," he said. "Remember the last time we surprised him with a visit." He paused and thought for a minute. "Two hours. If he doesn't call by nine, I'll gas up the Gray Ghost and take the highway."

  Lois nodded. "Oh, Bernie." She hugged him. "What do you think is wrong?"
--------

  Marissa stood in shock. She knew this had torn Gary up, but this was suicide, something Gary prevented, not commited. She cringed. "Some psych major I am, I can't help my own best friend." Erica turned to her.

  "Oh, Marissa, it's not your fault. He wouldn't listen to anyone." Marissa sighed again. "I know but I was always able to help him out of sticky situtions, but now, who knows?" She hardly ever cried, but she felt gentle tears stream down her cheeks.

  "It'll be okay," Erica said.

  Marissa didn't know. Losing Gary would be like losing a part of her soul. Gary had done so much for her. Bought her a guide dog, pretty much turned her life around. If it wasn't for him, she would've never met Emmit, her cab driver boyfriend. She said a silent prayer.

  "Lord, please let Gary live. I'll do anything. Take away my hearing, I don't care just let Gary live."
 

Chapter 6
 
Spend all your time waiting,
For that second chance,
For a break that would make it okay.
There's always some reason,
To feel not good enough,
And it's hard at the end of the day.
    -Sarah McGlauclin
*******

  Gary held his face in his hands, sobbing. "What's wrong, sir?" his own self asked. His eyes were wide with concern.

  "I-I-I couldn't hang on to his arm, and a guy died." Young Gary began to cry.

  "It's not your fault mister," he said.

   "Then why are you crying?" asked Gary softly, knowing the answer, after all it was himself.

  "'Cause you blame yourself, and I don't like dying. It's sad. Mommy and Daddy say that when I make a mistake, that I should try to forget about it, like when a ball player makes an error. He goes out and hits a home run, or makes a great play, and the error is totally forgotten." His face brightened. "What does your mommy and daddy say?"

  "Same thing," Gary replied, holding his face in his hands.

  "You must have super parents then," young Gary continued. "Daddy's great. He takes me camping, and fishing, 'cept one time a snake almost bitted me, but Daddy saved me. Then he hollered at me for wandering off. The snake was this big," he said, holding his hands far apart, seemingly forgetting his shyness.

  "And Mommy's great too, 'specially when I'm sick. She brings me Vinny, that's my stuffed monkey, and reads me stories, and plays games with me. She's a great cook too. She makes peanut butter and jelly perfect, and other stuff, pasta, and junk. Hey, maybe you could come to dinner some time. What do you say?"

  Gary shook his head. "I don't think so," he replied softly.

  "Why not?" he asked innocently.

  Gary heaved a sigh, fighting the tears that he knew were coming. "I'm going away for a-a real long time."

  There was a call from the next room. "Where's Gary."

  The young boy froze, like a deer in the headlights. "I gotta go," he said. He blew a stray hair out of his face, which immediatly replaced itself exactly where it had been before. He shrugged, and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you sir. Name's Gary Hobson."

  Gary reluctantly shook his own, much smaller hand. "Gary H-uh, um Quinn."

  The little boy nodded. "Nice to meet you Mr. Quinn. And remember what my mommy and daddy say. 'Gary, no matter that, we will always be proud of you.' Well, see ya." He gave a little wave, and stode out the door, to trade baseball cards, and play with blocks.

  Snow approached Gary. He motioned to him. "Follow me," he said, and gestured to a door. He walked through the door, Gary behind him. They were once again in Gary's room a revised edition.

  Rock band posters, baseball cards, football uniform, ball gove, tweleve years old. Sports trophies all over the dresser. The sun shone through the window. The door opened and Chuck and Gary came through, Chuck with a basketball under his arm. Gary wore jeans, and a black t-shirt, Chuck jeans, and a Cubs t-shirt.

  "Call her," said Chuck, tossing Gary the basketball.

   Gary blushed and shook his head, tossing the ball back.

  Chuck tossed it right back. "C'mon Gar. Mary's like in love with you, you know you like her, just call. I'm sure she'll say yes."

  Gary had a picture of his first "real" girlfriend. Mary Carter, the pretty girl from next door. The tomboy with dazzling blue eyes, and a halo of curly strawberry blonde hair. The one girl that could keep up with the boys at any sport, which Gary had admired.

  Gary was blushing. He rocketed the ball back to Chuck. "Naw, I don't think so," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

  Chuck hurled the ball back, and shook his head. "C'mon, Big Guy. Old Lady Hansen is finally giving us a dance, so ask her. Lily told Pete, who told Jake, who told Judy, who told Jamie, who told Sam, who told me that she thinks you're a babe." He nodded, sure of himself.

  Gary shook his head, and chucked the ball back.

  "You've got to," said Chuck, chucking the ball at his stomach. Gary caught it, and shook his head. "You are so shy, man!" He picked up Gary's football phone. "Now call. If you don't you're.. chicken. Balk, balk, balk." He smiled with satisfaction knowing he hit the target.

  Gary shoved the basketball into Chuck's hands and picked up the phone, grumbling. "Fine. I'll call." His face was bright red as he dialed the numbers. "Hello, is um, Mary there?" There was a pause. "This is uh, Gary. Um, sure I'll wait. Chuck gave him a thumbs up.

  "Uh, Mary? Um, this is Gary." He tried to control his stutter. "Uh, I was just thinkin', you know, uh, maybe, you-you might want to uh, go to the-the dance with me uh, Saturday." There was another pause. "You would? Great! Sure, I'll uh, pick you up at six-thirty. Sure, okay. Yeah, bye."

  Gary hung up and jumped on his bed. "She said yes, she said yes," he yelled celebrating his "victory."

  Chuck grinned. "What did I tell you?"

  His parents opened the door. "What's all the racket, boys?" asked Lois. Gary immediatly shut up, and his face flamed instantly.

  "Uh, nothing," he mumbled, but Chuck didn't take the hint.

  "Gar's got a date with Mary." Gary elbowed him. "Uhh," he groaned feeling Gary's sharp elbows just into him.

  Lois brightened. "A date, oh, Gary. I knew this day would come," she gushed. She gave him a tight hug, while Gary glared daggers at Chuck. Gary tried to shrug her off. "My baby boy's growing up so fast, already on his first date."

  "Moooooom," Gary groaned.

   Bernie punched Gary's shoulder. "Way to go, Gar. A date." He turned to Chuck. "So, Chuck-o. I suppose you teased him into it?"

  Chuck nodded, watching as Lois made a fuss over Gary, and Gary tried desparatly to get away.

  "Mom, it's just a date."

   "So you admit it's a real date. I'm so proud." Bernie put his arms on her shoulders.

  "Come on, Lois. Let's leave the boy alone. You act like this, he may never want to date again."

  "Don't be silly," said Lois, but Bernie managed to get her out.

  Gary turned to Chuck, who threw him the basketball. He scowled, and tossed it back. "Thanks alot Chuck," he said.

  "I do what I can," Chuck smiled.

   "Yeah, that's embarrass me," replied Gary, firing the basketballl at his stomanch. "Uhh," Chuck groaned, and clutched his stomach.

  "Revenge is sweet," Gary said. Then he looked at Chuck. "Sorry buddy, but you deserved it."

  The present Gary looked on in sorrow. He remembered the day, remembered, the date with her. His mother snapping a million pictures, he also remembered her moving away in 8th grade, forcing them to break up. They had loved eachother, but couldn't keep up a long-distance relationship. They had been together for an entire year; when you're in junior high, you're
lucky to date the same person for a week. Gary remembered being heartbroken for weeks, and Chuck and the rest of his buddies helping him out of it.

  He couldn't get the image of his young self out of his head. 'Gary, no matter what, we'll always be proud of you.' He noticed Snow, sitting back and not saying a word, letting him revel in the moments himself.

  Gary didn't know how to feel. He knew where he wanted to be. There. No, he wanted to be four. Sitting in his father's lap, watching cartoons, holding Vinny, and sucking his thumb, while his mom brought him a huge bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Wanted the old days, craved the old days.

  "It's time we go," said Snow, and there was a flash of yellow light, and the two men, were on a football field.
 

Chapter 7

This is getting old,
I can't break these chains that I hold.
My body's growing cold,
There's nothin' left of this mind or my soul.
Addiction needs a pacifier,
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher.
This will fall away,
This will fall away.
You're getting closer,
To pushing me off life's little edge.
        - 3 Doors Down
**********

  Bernie was pacing, wondering what could have been wrong. He glanced at Lois, and decided to try to calm her down. He picked up a picture off the end table. It was Gary, on his first day of high school.

   "Hey, remember when we took this picture?"

    Lois looked up, and smiled a bit.

    "Yeah, first day of Hickory High. He sure went through alot those years," she said wistfully. "Just look at what he became."

   Bernie smiled. "Well, through high school, he was the  football catchin,' home run hittin,' prank pullin,' boy-next door, romantic heartthrob, Prom King, Big Man on Campus."

  "He was a great kid," said Lois.

  "You know, I bet nothing's wrong," said Bernie.

   "Maybe you're right. Maybe he just watched a home movie, and started to miss us."

  Bernie nodded. "Or 'The Lion King. Those type movies always make him sappy."

  They stood for a few minutes is silence.

  "Bernie?"
 
   "Yeah?"
 
   "Do you really belive that?"

   "Do you?" Bernie asked.

   "Not at all."

   Bernie sighed. "Neither do I."

   "Do you think he's going to be okay?" Lois asked nervously.

   Bernie hugged Lois. "I know one thing. Someone, or something is looking out for our son. Whether it be God, or that rascal cat of his, Gary's got a guardian angel at his side."
 
-----------

  They were in the stands. Gary saw his parents next to him, and wanted to cry. They were clapping and cheering.

  "Go, Gar," shouted Bernie. Gary looked over and saw himself on the field. He was number 35, the wide receiver. He was the tallest boy on the field, which distinguished him from the other guys. Gary turned to Snow.

  "I'm sick of your little game. You're just going to keep me on this bizarre trip down memory lane 'til I agree to live, aren't you? Well, too bad, it's not going to work." He crossed his arms, defiently.

  "Watch," Snow said simply.

   Gary turned towards the field. The Hickory team broke from their huddle. It was raining fiercely, and bitter cold winds swept throughout the field.

   "Green 18, Green 18, hut, hut, hike!" The quaterback, called. The center snapped the ball, and the play began.

  Gary ran down the left side of the field, shaking his defender. The quaterback threw a spiraling arc, right into Gary's outstretched arms.

  Gary's defenders caught up with him, as he was charging down the field. Two huge gusy sandwiched him, and made the tackle. There was a loud snapping noise, and the field was silent. Gary lay still on the damp grass, not moving the slightest bit.

   "Gary!" called Bernie. He grabbed Lois's hand, and they weaved through the crowd, and onto the field, where Gary lay. The coach was knelt at his side. He noticed Bernie coming.

   "Mr. Hobson! Quick, call 911, he's out." A member of the crowd rushed to the nearest phone. The coach gently removed Gary's helmet.

  Blood seeped from a head wound, and dirt was streaked across his sweaty face.

   "Gary can you hear me?" Bernie asked. He and Lois knelt down close to him. Lois was weeping and stroking his hair.

   "Uhhhhhhh," Gary groaned. He still didn't move.

   The ambulance arrived quickly to take Gary to the hospital. Bernie and Lois climbed in, worried to death.

  "Let's go," said Snow." Gary turned around to face him, and they were in a hospital room.

  Teenage Gary lay on the bed, still out cold. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, cutting through his dark hair. He looked extremely pale.

  The door opened, and Bernie, Lois, a doctor, Chuck, and Gary's ex-girlfriend Genie came in.

  "He's got a concussion, and a broken arm, but he should come to in a little while. He should take it easy for a couple days. No football for a little while."

  Chuck shook his head. "Gar won't listen. My bet is tomorrow, he'll be on the field again, broken arm or not."

  Lois shook her head. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

  Gary's eyelids fluttered. He tried to get up off the hospital bed. "M-om, Da-Dad, Genie, Chu-uck?"

  "Hey, Gar. How ya doin?"

   He groaned. "My head hurts a little."

   Chuck snorted. "A little?" Genie elbowed him.
 
   "What happened?" Gary asked groggily.

    "Got sandwhiched by two huge Rockport dudes," replied Genie. She kissed him on the lips, which caused Gary to blush fiercly.

  "You have a broken arm, so no football for awhile," said Bernie.

  "We'll see about that," Gary said softly. "I forgot to ask the most important thing."

  "It's okay, Gary. In about three weeks you should be okay. Thank God you weren't killed, sweetie," said Lois, kissing his forehead.

  "No, not that. Who won the game?"

  The whole room burst into laughter.

  "What?" Gary asked, which caused them to laugh harder, in relief.

  Gary turned to Snow in rage.

  "Stop, okay, just stop. Why? Huh? Why? What good will it do if I live?" His eyes flashed, full of despair, and anger.

  "The real question is, what good will it do if you die? The answer to that is none. I'll show you."

  And with a brilliant flash of light, they were at a funeral, Gary's funeral.
 

Chapter 8

You'll never step foot in my room again,
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time I spilled the cup of apple juice
In the hall?
Please tell my mom that it is not her fault.
    - Blink-182
**********

  A cold, winter morning. Sun shining over dew covered grass, and a coffin. Gary's coffin. The grave marker bore the words,

   'Gary Hobson, 1965-1998. A loved son, a cherished friend.'

  "Some say that being rich depends on how many people miss you when you're gone. If so, Gary Hobson, you must be the richest man alive."

  The service was huge. Bernie and Lois were both weeping openly, grief overcoming them. Marissa, Chuck, Crumb, even his one time bodyguard, Antonia Brigatti. Detevtive Armstrong, "A Regular Joe" Damski, and his wife, a woman and her two sons, who Gary had saved from being shot.

  Molly Green, Sun-Times reporter, Erica, Henry, Patrick, Erica's ex-husband, Mike, there wasn't a dry eye within ten miles. The ex-art theif, Clive and his wife, Faye, Boswell, Marcia, not to mention the entire town of Hickory, Indiana. Countless saves, countless tears, countless nothingness in Gary's heart of hearts. But, the look on his parents' faces, broke his heart instantly.

  The priest finished speaking, wiping a tear from his eye. Gary had once saved his life, too. "Now, there are some people who would like to honor Mr. Gary Hobson."

  There was a long line. Everybody had a few kind words to say, even Boswell. Chuck started off.

  "Gary Hobson was my best friend. The perfect Boy Scout, All-American, always drinks his milk type guy. I remeber when we first met. He saved me from being pounded by the school bully. Within a minute of talking to him, we were best friends. He was a great guy. I remeber him best, playing pool, having a beer, and watching the Bears game." Chuck paused for a minute.

  "Back in Hickory, we were the hometown heroes. We's pull pranks like you wouldn't believe. Who else but the Hobson\Fishman team could have taken apart all the faculty's cars, and rebuilt them in the gym, while still managing not to get caught? He wasn't the hometown biy just because of pranks. He was the most popular kid in school, the best athlete, and according to the girls, the best-looking. More often than not, we'd end up grounded for whatever, throwing water ballons, riding down the steepest hill in the neighborhood without braking, it seemed out parents knew every stunt we pulled before we pulled it." Chuck bit his lip, and continued.

  "Gar never minded so much. He'd do his penance in his room, and the next week help me come up with some idiotic pranks to terrorize the neighborhood. He wasn't always sweet-as-pie Gary Hobson." He sighed.

  "Everyone saw success in his future. A police man, a firefighter, a doctor, though few knew he never could stand blood. Gar was a guy put on this earth to help people. Now, most people wouldn't call running a bar helping people, but Gary's not most bar owners. He's the kind of guy who would cancel a date with a super model if your car broke down. That wasn't just what
made him a great friend. He was just there, you know? There when you needed to talk, he was listening, if you needed to be left alone, he gave you your space. If you needed ten bucks, yeah, he'd give you that and more." Chuck's eyes were red-rimmed and crying as he continued.

  "Gary was my best friend, and I don't know what I'll do without him. And Gar, if you can hear me, I miss you buddy." He broke down and cried his eyes out. Bernie stood up, to pay tribute to his only son.

  "When you have a kid, you notice all the little things, and yeah, I noticed every little one with Gary. The way he scratched the back of his neck when he was nervous, or how he stuttered when he didn't know quite what to say. I noticed his 100-watt smile
he'd give me no matter what. I'm sure right now, he's looking down on us, wondering why we're so sad. He's that kind of guy. He was my son, and I'll never forget the times we've shared." He looked at the sky, looking towards his son.

 "I have such good memories. Camping trips in the woods, where we'd end up lost and starving, first time we played catch together, dads never forget thos days. I guess I figured he'd be around forever. When me and Lois brought him home from the hospital after he was born, I remember what I was thinking." He sighed.

  "I remember holding this new life in my hands and thinking, 'God Bernie, you have it all. A wife, a house, and now, a son. What more could you ever want.' Well, now I can tell you what I want more than anything, because now I know. I want my son back. I want him to burst into the door, and say, 'Hey, Mom, Dad, what's for dinner?' But, I know that can't happen. But now I know what's missing in my life, my son." He sat down, crying softly. Crumb sttod up and cleared his throat.

  "Gary was a great kid. He cared more about other people than he did himself. It was like he was the guardian angel of Chicago, and somehow he knew when something bad was going to happen. At first I had misjudged him. Thought he was some nut with a crystal ball, but I was wrong. He was just a genuine good guy, who knew more than he let on." Crumb looked at his
feet.

  "Gary had a great heart, one of the best. His heart will live on, though in every person who ever cared about people, in everyone who ever helped, not for the glory, but just to help. Gary Hobson's spirit can never die, and I know he's still gurading Chicago, still looking out for his friends. So when you do a good deed, when you help someone, when you care, know there's a little bit of Gary Hobson in you." Crumb finished and sat down quietly.

  A few more speeches were given. Gary stood, numb.

  "Come on, Gary," motioned Snow. "We've got more to see." Gary turned around and he was no longer in the cemetary, he was at home, in Hickory.

  The rooms were bare, except for a couch that sat in the middle of the living room. Bernie and Lois sat on it, with a man Gary didn't reconize.

  "It's a nice house. Why are you selling?" The man asked.

  Lois sighed, and tried to fight off tears. "Too many memories," she replied. Bernie gave her a tight hug.

  "Well, the moving van will be here in about an hour, so we better go pack the last of it," sighed Bernie.

  "I'll leave you guys alone," the man said. He suspected there were more reasons as to why they were selling, but he didn''t press the subject. He walked out the front door.

  "So, I guess this is it," Bernie said, sadly.

  "Oh, Bernie, why did this have to happen?" Lois asked, sobbing hysterically. Bernie pulled her into a tight hug.

  "I don't know Lois. I really don't know."

  "Mom," Gary said softly. He couldn't bare to see them like this, but still, he couldn't...

  "We should get the last of the stuff out," Bernie said.

  Lois nodded. "You know what's funny? I keep thinking he's alive." She choked a sob.

  "Sometimes I pick up the phone thinking, 'I should call Gary,' then I stop when I realize, I-I can't." She buried her head in Bernie's shoulder.

  "Shhh, it's okay." Bernie felt tears brimming in his eyes. He lead Lois upstaris to Gary's room.

  Most of his old stuff had been packed away in boxes, waiting to be put in the attic of their new home in Florida. There were a few more things left.

  "Be right back," Bernie assured Lois, as he lifted a desk, and headed for the stairs.

   Lois shivered. The room held so many memories. She could almost see him, playing hide-and-go seek with Bernie, or trading baseball cards with Chuck, and the guys.

  Loid turned to the wall, and saw a picture of the family, at Gary's high school graduation. A tear rolled down her cheek in remeberance. The room seemed so hollow without her sweet baby boy to fill it with sports trophies. She half-expected to see a Trig book on the floor, next to an open black backpack, full of pushed aside homework.

  Gary felt the strong urge to hug his mother. As he moved nearer to her, he realized he couldn't.

  The room had been long since abandoned. They had tried to avoid the room, avoid the pain it caused. The problem was everything in the house reminded them of Gary. The nick in the wall from when he swung a wooden bat a little to close to the doorway, or the discolored spot on the rug from when Gary had lied about being sick, and lost his lunch all over the rug.
Every single paint chip, and every single mark on the wall was just another memory that caused suffering.

 Lois remembered being told the news, remembered the day.

  "Sit down, Mrs. Hobson," they had said, and she knew.

   "No, it's impossible," she had said, ans had started to weep. The memories seeped from her veins, and made her want to turn back time and bring back her sweet baby boy.

  "It's time to go," Bernie said softly, and left the room.

  Lois followed him, but turned around on second thought.

  Gary watched intently, his eyes flickering from his mother to the door, and back.

  Lois gently lifted the picture off it's nail. She glanced at the wall. On it was carved with a penknife,

  'GARY HOBSON LIVES HERE 4EVER.'

 Lois traced here fingers over the indentions. She got down on her knees, and began to weep.
 

Chapter 9

Then the jagged edge appears,
Through the distant clouds of tears.
I'm like a bridge that was washed away;
My foundations were made of clay.
As my soul slides down to die,
How could I lose him?
What did I try?
Bit by bit, I've realized
That he was here with me.
   -Eric Clapton
*******

  "No, no, no, no," Gary screamed. "This is not how it's supposed to happen. I'm supposed to die, I'm supposed to go, not like this."

  "This is how things are," said Snow. "This is how they will be unless you make the right choice. Just watch how many people need you."

  Gary immediatly noticed a new surrounding. Erica's apartment. He looked around. Erica was talking to what seemed to be the landlord, and Henry was at her side.

  "But, you don't understand. We need some more time. I thought you said we could have an extension on our rent. Please, Mr. Malcovich, just another week." Erica pleaded. Henry had tears in his eyes.

  "I'm sorry Ms. Paget, really I am but I can't give you anymore time. I already gave you two different extensions, even lessened your rent."

  "It's not my fault. My, my boyfriend died, and I worked at his bar, McGinty's, and now it's gone under. Please, give me a few days, a week. I'll find a new job."

  "I'm sorry, I can't do that. You have to go. Some new people are coming to check out the apartment." Henry finally spoke up.

  "I miss Gary," he said softly.

  Mr. Malkovich ruffled his hair. "I'm sorry sport, but it's no use. It wouldn't be fair. I'm going to have to ask you to collect your things and be out by tonight." Erica nodded. Mr. Malkovich sighed and left the room.

  "What are we going to do, Mom?" Henry asked, as the last of the boxes were being packed."

  "I don't know, sweetheart," she said softly. "We'll make it somehow. Maybe my parents could lend us some money." Henry nodded.

  "Mom?" Henry asked. They were almost out the door. Mr. Malkovich had taken the boxes downstairs.

  "Yes, Henry?"

   "Why did God have to take Gary?" He asked with childlike innocence. Erica started to cry.

  "God must have needed a good man, He got one of the best," she said softly, and closed the door behind them.

  "Don't you see Gary. You're needed. You're only human, we all make mistakes." Snow said slowly. Gary almost exploded.

  "I'm not human. I'm Mr. Superman-without-a-cape! Sure, people make mistakes, how many with a life. I could have done it differently, could have waited for a helicopter, anything. I didn't have to climb across. I cared to much about if I lived, I was selfish." He broke into sobs.

  "Selfish?" Snow asked. "Every day, you help people, you save them, you sacrifice yourself. In my opinion, that's the most self-less thing a peson can do. And maybe you could have done it differently, maybe you should've, but you didn't. You have to accept it, have to accept the fate that's been given to you. You have to live, have to help. Make up for it in another way."

  "Don't you see?" Gary exclaimed. "Nothing will ever make up for it. A million lives saved will never make up for Jeremiah, never make up for the one that got away."

  "Let's go," said Snow. "We have more to see."

  They were then, on a bridge. "This is it," said Chuck softly. "Bye, world, hello, Gar." He stood up on the ledge and leaped to his death.

  "Chuck... no," said Gary, and his face drained of all color."
--------

  "How long have you known Gary?" asked Erica softly, knowing th answer, but wanting desparatly to fill the void of emptiness and silence that lay before them.

  "Oh, a few years," Marissa said, calmly, though the tears fell freely down her smooth cheeks.

  "How did you know... when he told you about the paper, that he wasn't making it up?"

  "Gary would never make up anything like that. Call it blind faith, call it intuition. I just believed in him." She forced a small smile.

  "Do you really think he'll be okay?" Erica asked, finally getting out what she wanted to say.

  "If it was anybody else but Gary Hobson, I'd say no, but Gary's different. I think.. I think that God is looking after him. But, I don't know, with Gary Hobson, you can never know."

  Erica nodded, and began to weep. Words held little comfort to her broken heart. Gary couldn't die, he just couldn't.
 

Chapter 10

The angry boy, a bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain,
You know you don't belong,
You're the first to fight, You're way too loud,
You're the flash of light, On a burial shroud,
I know somethings wrong,
Well, everyone has got a reason,
To say, put the past away.
     -Third Eye Blind
*************

  "Chuck, no," Gary said softly. "Why? Why?" He truned to Snow full of anger. "Why?" He buried his face in his hands and started to weep.

  "Look, son, without your gentle, guiding hand, Chuck couldn't handle life. He needs you." Snow snapped his fingers and they were in a new place. "Now, let's see who else needs you," Snow said.

 "I don't need to listen to you," Gary shouted, but stopped. "Marissa?" He asked in a whisper.

  She was lying on a bed, crying. She had a large black and blue under her right eye.

  "What's going on?" Gary demanded Snow. "Tell me," he screamed.

  The door opened and a tall, man walked in. Marissa sat bolt upright on the bed. "Tim, I thought you weren't going to be home 'til seven."

  "Yeah, well I'm home now, where's my dinner?" He grunted.

  "I didn't have time to make it, I'll go make it now," she said, and got up to leave. Timothy grabbed her arm.

  "I thought I asked my dinner to be ready as soon as I got home," Timothy said between clenched teeth. He pushed Marissa onto the bed.

  "Now I'm leaving, and if my dinner's not ready by the time I get back, oh, you don't wanna know what's going on."

  "He beats her?" Gary screamed. Snow nodded sadly. "I'll kill the b------," he yelled.

  "You can't, you're dead, remember," Snow said.

  "Marissa wouldn't let this happen, she'd run, or stand up to him, she's not like this."

  "Without you there she's scared. She always figured when her time would come, you'd be there, to help her."

  "She can't," Gary said softly.

  "It gets worse," Snow said. He held up a bottle of pills. Anti-depressant pills.

  "God, no, no, it can't be." He put his hand to Marissa's face, and she couldn't feel it. He kissed her cheek softly, and she couldn't feel it. He started to cry. Things couldn't get any worse, he decided.

  "They can," Snow said, reading his thoughts. "Your friend, Patrick, he's now a drug addict. The city of Chicago, is now a zoo, let's check it out," Snow said.

  "No, I can't leave her, I'll live, I don't care."

  Snow shook his head. "No, you won't. Remember I can see what will happen. If you choose right now to live, a few months later, you'll jump off the Sear's Tower after you warn Marissa, and send her home to her mother.  Now, let's go." They were no longer in Marissa's apartment. In an alley.

  A dirty faced, blonde man emerged from the shadows. Patrcik. He was doing drugs. His eyes were red, and he was high on marijuina. He was dizzy, and stumbling around.

  "No, this can't be right. He's a bright kid, he wouldn't do anything like this."

  "Gary, you were like his big brother, his best buddy. Without you there to set him apart from right and wrong, he couldn't handle anything."

  "This isn't anything like him," Gary said.

  A tall man approached Patrick. "You got the cash, Quinn, or do I have to beat your sorry butt again?"

  "Tomorrow, Jimmy, 'amorrow." Patrick said, drowsy.

  "Man, Quinn, you high again?" Jimmy slapped his face. "C'mon kid, I ain't gonna bail you out next time you're in jail for being a druggie. I just deal the stuff, and make my money."

  Patrick nodded slowly. "Yeah, Jimmy, no more jail. Once is 'nuff for me."

  "Convinced yet?" Snow asked. Gary looked on with astonishment. Snow tossed him something. Startled, Gary held out his hand and caught it. Then, he gasped. How..? How?

  To the ordinary eye, it seemed like a blob of clay, to Gary it was his past.

  "I remember," he said. "I remember." He didn't have to have Snow show him, he remembered, and he was taken
back, taken back to when he was six.
 

 Chapter 11
 
 Time
 Look where we are,
 And what we've been through.
 Time
 Sharing our dreams, every bit of life with you.
 Time,
 Goes on and on, every day.
 Time is what it is,
 Come what may.
   -Backstreet Boys
 *************
 
   It was so long ago, yet fresh and alive in his  mind.   The clay. This was why Snow was playing with it, to show him. Gary remembered all right, he could see it so clearly in  his head.
 
  He was five, and his father had just picked him up from school. Snow didn't need to show him, he could see it in his mind.
 
  "Mommy, I'm home," Gary had called into the kitchen. "And look what I made you." Gary remembered every detail, up to the clothes he was wearing- blue jeans, and a black shirt, to the green glow of the stove clock reading 3:03.
 
  Lois had come in the room, seeing Gary enter with Bernie bringing up the rear.
 
  "Show Mom what you made for us," Bernie said, loosening his tie, and dropping his keys on the counter.
 
  Gary ran to Lois, and gave her the small clay blob.  Lois kissed his forehead.
 
   "It's beautiful," she proclaimed, not kowing quite what it was, but not really caring, seeing how much it meant to Gary. She ruffled his hair. "I love it."
 
  "It's a heart," Gary said. His face had been caked with dirt, and he held a goofy smile.
 
  "Yes, it is," Lois  said. "It's symbolic."
 
   "What's that mean?" Gary asked, grabbing a juice box from the ice box.
 
   "It means, that well, have you ever heard the expression, 'Home is where the heart is?'"
 
   "Yeah. Uh, does that mean that even when I'm at school, my insides are at home?" Gary asked,
 innocently, brushing a stary hair away from his eyes.
 
   Lois chuckled. "No, well not really. It means that, well, when you grow up and go to college.."
 
  "I'm not going to college, I'm going to be a baseball  player." His eyes twinkled. "Or a caveman." Lois frowned.
 
  "That's not a real job." She smiled, realizing that by the next week Gary would want to be a doctor, or a magician or even a pro wrestler, and by the next week, he'd want to be something entirely different. The kid mind switches gears faster than you can blink, and Lois knew that.
 
  "Well, when you grow up, and go to your dugout," she smiled. "Or cave. You'll always know you have a home back in Hickory to come to, a warm bed, some chicken noddle soup, and two, no, four shoulders to cry on." Lois smiled up at Bernie, who normally didn't care for such sappy moments, but was smiling anyway.
 
   "By then I don't think I'll ever cry," Gary said. "I'll be too old to cry."
 
   "You're never too old to cry honey," Lois responded.
 
   "Yeah, like down the road, when the White Sox lose the World Series again."
 
   "Oh," replied Gary confused. Lois and Bernie just laughed.
 
   Gary felt tears brim in his eyes. So long ago, but still it made sense.
 
  "Every person, everyone, has an effect on the world, and it's future. How you live, die, love, act, talk, and anything else. Anything that may seem tiny, or unimportant can effect the future. Something as tiny as giving a ten dollar bill to the poor can result in a new pair of gloves for a man who never had any. Another example, you deciding to use the paper to help the world. Maybe if you hadn't everything would be different now. Maybe nothing would be right. It's like dominos, it take one little block to make them all fall down, one by one." Snow's eyes blazed into Gary's.
 
   "Maybe things would be different if you hadn's given up. Just like a deck of cards, with one single card missing, the deck can't function properly. Without the king, or the ace, a simple game can be ruined." Gary just looked at him.
 
   "Now are you ready to make your choice?" Snow asked, quizically.
 
  "I'm ready... I'll choose. I know what I want to do...." Gary trailed off.
 
  There was a blinding flash of light and the sacred choice was made, there was no turning back.
 

Chapter 12

What makes you laugh?
What makes you cry?
What makes our youth run,
From the thought that we might die?
What makes you bleed?
Somebody told me the wrong way,
What if I died?
What did I give?
I hope it was an answer so you might live.
I hope I helped you live.
I hope I helped you live.
   -Creed
************

 Marissa could hear her heart beating in her chest.Was he okay? Would he make it? She didn't know, but she knew to have faith. She had to have faith.

 "We hear somebody!" A man yelled. He heard a weak voice, croaking 'Hey, I'm in here,' but it was enough.

 Marissa's heart leapt. Gary, he would be... okay."

 "Marissa, I see him," Erica said, clutching her arm. "He's alive, he's okay."

 Erica looked at Gary with new eyes. He limped slightly, and had a nasty gash over one eyes. That seemed to be the limit of his physical injuries. Emotionally, Erica didn't quite think he'd ever be okay. His eyes were tired, and his face pale, and unshaven.

 Noticing Erica and Marissa, Gary limped over to them. Armstrong patted his shoulder and smiled. Gary threw his arms around Marissa.

 "Marissa, I love you," he whispered.
 
 "Oh, Gary, I love you too." It was a friendship love, but it was strongest love two people could share for each other.

 Gary felt gentle tears wash down his cheeks. He let go of Marissa, and turned to hug Erica. She looked like a wreck.

 "I thought you were going to die," she whispered.

 "So, did I," he said back to her. "So did I."

 "What happened in there?" Marissa asked.

 "I uh, don't really want to talk about it. Maybe later."
 
 "It's okay, Gary, you'll be okay," Marissa said softly, hugging him again.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Hobson, we have an ambulance waiting for you."

 For once Gary didn't protest to seeing a doctor, and he sat down on the gurney for the trip to the hospital.
 
 "I'm going to be okay," he said out loud.

 "Of course you are," a EMT said. "We'll fix you up. You're lucky you aren't dead right now. Why did you go in there?"

 "Um, I was uh, looking for my cat."Gary didn't really feel like saying anything more. The truth hurt too much.

 "Didn't I see you on the news a few days ago?" the EMT asked.

 "I'm afraid you have me mistaken with someone else," Gary said softly.

 The EMT didn't press him for details. He could tell something wasn't quite right, but he didn't want to upset the young man.

 When they reached the hospital, it was a whirlwind of activity. Gary found himself on a hospital bed, Erica and Marissa at his side. The cut above his eye had been bandaged, and he had been given crutches for his leg, which turned out to be hurt badly, not sprained or broken.
 
 "Well, Mr. Hobson, looks like you can go," the doctor said. He eyed him carefully. "Unless you want to talk to someone about anything," he added, handing him a card of the best psychiatric doctor in Illinois. He could tell there was more to Gary Hobson than a missing cat. It was in his eyes.

 "I'm fine," Gary assured him.

 "Then take your medication, it should help stop the pain," the doctor said, handing him some pills. "And get some rest." Gary nodded.

 "I can go now?"

 "Yes, Mr. Hobson you can go. But remember, you can always talk to any of our doctors about any problems," the doctor said.

 "I'll be fine," Gary assured him, and got up shakily on his crutches. Marissa and Erica followed him out the door. Dr. Grieco was still a little worried about him, but he could tell that Mr. Hobson had loving and supportive friends.

 "If you don't mind," Gary said softly. "I'm going to go for a drive and think. I might not be back for a few days, okay? Erica can you and Patrick take care of the paper?"

 "Sure, Gary. Are you sure you're okay? Where are you going?"

 "I'm going to go visit someone, okay? I really think I should.

 After getting hugs from both women, and throughly assuring them he'd be okay, he climbed into his jeep. He had given Erica the paper. He sighed. He knew where to go.

 About an hour later, he reached his destination. He rang the doorbell. He heard footsteps, and the door opened.

 "M-Mom, D-Dad?" Gary asked.

 "Gary? Are you alright? What's wrong. Lois and Bernie ran to him, and wrapped him in a giant family hug. "We were so worried," Lois said softly.

 Finally, Gary could not restrain himself, and he began to sob. "I-I, Jeremiah is dead," he said softly. "I failed."
 

Chapter 13

The loneliness of nights so long,
The search for strength to carry on.
My every hope had seemed to die,
My eyes had no more tears to cry.
Then like the sun shined from up above
You surrounded me with your endless love.
And all the things I couldn't see,
Are now so clear to me.
    -98 degrees
************

 Lois had no idea what was going on. All she knew was that something was wrong, really wrong. She tightened her embrace on her son as he wept.

 "Son, what's wrong?" Bernie asked. He turned to Lois. "Let's sit him down." They led Gary to the couch, and he sat down.

 "Sweetie? Are you okay? What happened?"

 "I failed," Gary said, between sob.

 "Failed in what, honey?" Lois asked.

 "It's a long story," Gary said quietly, wiping the tears from his eyes.

 "We've got time," Bernie said softly.

 Gary looked at his father for a moment and began to tell them. He told them everything. Jeremiah, the obituary, Snow. Ever few minutes, he'd break into sobs, and Lois would hold him until he stopped. It felt good to tell them. Felt good to be at home. He finished and bowed his head in silence.

 The whole family was crying, Bernie was serious for once. "Oh, Gary," Lois said, wiping a tear from her eye. She hugged him. "I'm so sorry we weren't there."

 "It's not your fault," Gary said softly.

 "And it's not yours about Jeremiah," Bernie said. "Everyone makes mistakes, heroes included." He gave a small grin. "You're okay now, buddy."

 "Yeah," Gary said softly. He couldn't control himself, and he began to weep again. "I love you guys," he said.

 "Let's get you to a warm bed," Lois said. "You look beat."

 Gary nodded. He looked up at her. "That's what you said, wasn't it? That I'd have a warm bed and shoulders to cry on when I needed them, wasn't that what you said?"

 Lois nodded. "And then you said you'd be too old to cry," she said softly.

 "You remember?" Gary asked.

 "Of course we do. Then we told you you're never too old to cry," Bernie said. "Parents always remember this type stuff."

 "Really," Gary asked.

 "Yeah. Hey, Bernie, remember how Gary would take a cardboard box and pretend he was on TV?"

 "Oh, yeah. And what about when he broke your lamp and called the navy recruitment office saying it was an emergency?" Bernie asked.

 Gary looked at both his parents. He didn't even remember any of what they were talking about. He had a vague memory of his childhood.

 "How do you remember all this?" He asked, shaking his head.

 "You always remember things like this about people you love."

 Gary gave a little smile. "Thank you for loving me, then," he said quietly.

 His parents led him to his old bed. He lay down, realizing how exhausted he was.

 Lois brushed the hair off his face, and kissed his forehead. "Are you sure you're okay?"

 "I'll be fine in awhile," he said, softly.

 "You know, you can always talk to us, anytime, anyplace, we'll be there."

 Despite himself, Gary gave a weak grin. "You sound like a Celine Dion song."

 Bernie chuckled. "How'd you get to be so much like your old man?" Gary shrugged.

 "Let's let Gary get some rest," Lois said. Bernie nodded.

 "I love you guys. Goodnight."

 "Goodnight Son. Love you."

 Lois kissed his cheek. "You're welcome at home for as long as you like. I love you. Goodnight." She gave him a smile, and Bernie and Lois left.

 Gary was alone with his thoughts. He fell into sleep almost as soon as his head hit his pillow.

 "Oh, God, Bernie. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life," Lois said.

 Bernie gave her a kiss. "What about the time Gary tried to bungee jump off the roof? Or when he ran away?"

 "Okay, you have a point there." Lois sighed. "Did you see his eyes?"

 "Hmmm," Bernie muttered.

 "Did you see the sadness behind them. It scared me," she said.

 "Let's just try and sleep," they said, and did just that.

 Gary was on the roof again. And again, there was Jeremiah, and everything was the same. He stretched the ladder across the two rooftops, and climbed across. He gave Jeremiah the same shaky smile he had given that day. And again, Jeremiah fell.

 "No, Jeremiah, don't. I can save him..." Gary woke up with a start. He felt sick, really sick.

 He managed to make it to the bathroom just in time. He began to retch, for what seemed like hours. His parents hearing the noise, had come down the hall. Bernie held Gary up, while Lois put a wet washcloth on the back of his neck.

 It seemed like an eternity before the retching stopped.

 "Just like old time huh?" Bernie commented.

 "Sorry," Gary said, weakly. He hated to have woken them up.

 "Don't be," Lois said. "You're our son, and we love you. Taking care of you when you're sick, is in our job description.

 "We've done it all before. This isn't the first time. You once ate twelve pieces of pizza in one sitting."

 Gary stomach did flip flops at the mere mention of food.

 "Sorry, Gar. Here we'll take you back to bed."

 Bernie carried him to bed, and Lois brought him a glass of water. He took a small sip.

 "Thank you," he said softly.

 "For what?" Lois asked.

 "For being there right when I need you."

Email the author: Mary Hobson
 
 

Back Home to McGinty's

Stories by Title

Stories by Author