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Writer: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Director: Milan Cheylov
Air Date: 10/08/03

Christopher Gorham...Jake Foley
Keegan Connor Tracy...Diane Hughes
Philip Anthony-Rodriguez...Kyle Duarte
Judith Scott...Louise Beckett

Guest Stars:
Kristian Ayre...Bit
Carly Pope...Yori/Rachel
Brendan Fletcher...MacP
Paul Anthony...Clu
Miranda Frigon...Tech Agent Susan Carver
Anita Brown...Marly
Jesse Cadotte...DuMont
Roger Haskett...Ed
Robin Mossley...Banker
David Neale...Pilot
Steve Oatway...Flight Engineer
Michael Roberds...Tow Truck Driver
Sarah Mutch...Model #1
Renee Janssen...Model #2
Molly Slinger...Model #3
Morgan Reynolds...Model #4
Anthony Pallas...Cool Guy
Dean Redmond...Guard


Jake's day is not off to a great start as he waits for a tow truck by the side of his smoking car, which apparently caught fire on his drive to work. And to top it off, he's having a hard time telling Diane on his cellphone, which keeps breaking up. Walking over to stand next to a Ferrari 355 Spider so he can get a clear signal, he asks Diane to tell Lou he's on his way. A pretty girl spots Jake standing next to the car, and strikes up a conversation. However, when the tow truck arrives, and she realises that Jake's car in in fact the wreck behind him, she high-tails it out of there. To add insult to injury, Jake's auto club membership is expired. Also having a bad day are employees at the Federal Reserve Bank, who watch helplessly as hackers steal $2 million, leaving an animated calling card which spoofs a popular credit card commercial and features a distinctive drawing of a Mexican wrestler (think StrongBad) holding moneybags.

As he arrives at work at last, Jake complains to Diane that super spies like James Bond, Man From U.N.C.L.E. Napoleon Solo and Bionic Man Steve Austin never had to count pennies for a tow. Diane counters that unlike Jake, Steve Austin was a man barely alive. And anyway, ride-sharing is an idea whose time has come. Jake however is bemoaning the state of his finances, as he made more money as a tech support geek than he currently does as a spy, thanks to over-time. Kyle reminds Jake that his countries enemies don't punch a clock, and the two of them head over to the Federal Reserve Bank where Jake—showing major geek street cred—recognises the crest on the animated calling card as being from a popular online multi-player video game. Eighteen hours of Ironhawk Knight Quest later, Carver has traced the player Jake suspects of being behind the bank hack. Relieved, Jake drops the game control and massages his cramped hand. As Jake and Kyle arrive at the address, they are unaware that the hacker has watched their approach on his security cameras and started deleting his hard drive.

The hacker, a guy about Jake's age who calls himself Dumont, is supremely sure of himself and mocks the agents as they burst in, guns drawn. However, his confidence takes a hit when with a glance Jake stops the hard drive from being deleted. However, Jake can't access the hard drive without Dumont's password. From within a clear Plexiglas holding cell back at the NSA, Dumont and Jake are having a staring contest. Dumont keep taunting Jake, saying he'll never be able to crack his password. However, Jake has been paying attention. All of Dumont's hardware are named for characters from high fantasy novels. Jake guesses that his password must be "Death Owl", based on Dumont's affinity for the Ghormenghast trilogy. Carver inputs the password, and the laptop begins booting up the operating system, much to Kyle's amusement. Undaunted, Dumont states that they may have cracked his password, but tomorrow Jake will still be the same underpaid tech grub with a $6 haircut, while he Dumont has truly lived. He's travelled the globe, sampled every cuisine, and had hotter sex than Jake will ever have. And when he gets out, his sole mission will be to destroy Jake. Slightly shaken, Jake leaves the holding area.

In Lou's office, Kyle and Jake fill her in on what they've learned from Dumont's laptop. Dumont is part of a ring of hackers who go by the names Clu, Bit, and Yori. They are led by another hacker named McP, who has summoned the four to Berlin to discuss their next target. Lou wants to send an NSA agent undercover as Dumont, since none of the hackers have met before, and haven't so much as exchanged photographs. Jake points out that he's perfect for the job, but Lou remains sceptical, saying that agents train for years to go overseas an infiltrate criminal gangs. Jake replies "They're not terrorists. They're nerds. They're like ... they're like nerds gone wild. These are my people." Convinced, Kyle briefs Jake on his mission. He's to impersonate DuMont, and will stay in contact with the NSA via a cellphone which can transmit video feed back to Sat Ops. Jake dutifully recites back the addresses of the two safe houses in Berlin he is to head for in case he runs into any trouble, and Kyle coaches him on his behaviour. He's just to ID the hackers, and gain any intel on the job he can. Jake has 12 hours to become DuMont.

At DuMont's apartment, Jake goes through his closet, trying on one of his shirts, and chooses a pair of sunglasses from a case. He starts talking to imaginary women as DuMont, playing it cool—until he falls off one of the expensive bikes in DuMont's flat. Cut to the airport in Berlin, where Jake—wearing a black leather coat straight out of The Matrix—is met at his car by two men in suits who tell him he is under arrest. In a grey room, Jake is interrogated by the men. Jake insists he's Kevin Flynn, and doesn't know anything about DuMont or any hacking ring. Jake notices one of the supposed German intelligence officers is sporting a particularly nice watch. When Jake recognises a line from RoboCop, the jig is up. The two "agents" collapse into laughter. They are Clu and Bit, sent by McP to meet DuMont and make sure he's loyal. Handing Jake €50,000, they tell him he has until dawn to spend it all.

Back at Ft. Meade, Kyle is visiting a bored DuMont in his cell. Kyle wonders aloud if DuMont is smart enough to cut a deal. But DuMont isn't interested. Instead, he figures that Kyle must have sent Jake to Germany in his place, and Kyle is obviously nervous about that. Or perhaps nervous that, like DuMont, Jake will become tempted by the money and glamour to go over to the dark side. Kyle meets this with silence, prompting DuMont to note that "Qui tacet consentire videtur" (silence denotes consent). Kyle tells DuMont he can "besame el culo." (kiss my ass). Back in Berlin, Clu and Bit take Jake to a trendy night club, ushering him instead ahead of the queue of trendy little boys and girls waiting to get in. Jake is introduced to the rest of the gang—ringleader McP, and Yori, who bucks the stereotype of geeky hacker by happening to be a stunning young woman in leather. Yori, however, is less than thrilled by "DuMont", much to Jake's confusion. As the night wears on, the geek club are busy getting drunk and trading 'war stories' about their worst jobs prior to turning to lives of crime. Yori is surprised when "DuMont" says he was an IT tech, saying she can't picture it. Jake covers quickly, and the geeks go dancing. Jake drops his cellphone, and Bit and Clu go nuts over the new piece of tech.

Back at Sat Ops, Kyle wonders aloud what the hell Jake is doing. Diane replies she thinks it's a dance called "The Slip" which is popular in the mitte district. Realising that was a rhetorical question, she shuts up. Lou asks Kyle if the photos on the big board are the hackers. Kyle says he assumes so—Jake hasn't labelled the photos he's transmitting, and he missed his scheduled check in. Lou wonders why Jake is in all of his photos. Carver works on matching the photos, and Lou makes the decision to have German intelligence mount a raid and grab the hackers for the Federal Reserve Bank, rather than letting Jake stick it out to discover what the "big job" may be.

Back at the bar, a slightly tipsy Jake spots Yori staring at him, and tells her she's beautiful. McP interrupts, telling Jake that their contact is at the bar. Jake bluffs his way through the contact, paying the contact €30,000 in exchange for the information "He took off from Heathrow six minutes ago," which Jake dutifully passes on to McP. Jake sneaks off to the bathroom, where he uses his cellphone to contact Kyle. Kyle tells Jake they're going to raid the bar, and Jake tells him about the unidentified "he" leaving Heathrow and that something big is in progress. Before he can say anything else, Yori bursts into the bathroom stall. Jake drops the phone into the toilet as Yori demands to know who he is. She's angry at whatever game he's playing, and tells "DuMont" that they have been "doing it" online for six months. Jake replies that they're not online any more, and she throws him up against the wall, obviously turned on. She says he's breaking all the rules. Jake replies that they are breaking all the rules, and kisses her. McP interrupts them, telling them they have work to do. Jake follows McP into an elevator, which begins to descend. Back at Sat Ops, Diane's JMD begins beeping. Lou asks what's going on, and Diane says the JMD has lost Jake. Either he's dead, or they can't track him.

Kyle reports to Lou that German intelligence raided the club, but that there was no sign of Jake or the hackers. Diane says that they could have lost Jake if he went underground, out of range of the satellites. Lou has Carver access subterrainian maps of Berlin, as well as get on Heathrow airport to track all flights which just departed. Back in Berlin, the elevator lets the geeks out in a bomb shelter which has been turned into hacker central, complete with a multi-teraflop computer which can perform an ungodly amount of processes per second. McP reveals their target as DuMont's former employer, Banatech. However, they're not trying to crack the company's mainframe's firewall, but their jet which is currently in the air, carrying Banatech's top management. They'll take over the onboard computer, forcing the plane to circle and holding it hostage until the corporate types transfer the billions in ransom into a numbered Cayman account. McP takes "DuMont" aside, and reveals that DuMont is the real mastermind behind the plan, using McP as a front. DuMont had no intention of letting the Banatech plane land. He intends to crash it, killing everyone onboard, in revenge.

Back at Sat Ops, Lou goes over the maps the Germans sent over, as well as the flight manifests. Meanwhile, DuMont summons Kyle to his holding cell, saying he's ready to cut a deal. However, it's a ruse. DuMont attacks Kyle, who subdues him easily. However, once he's out of the cell, DuMont brandishes the cellphone he nabbed during the "fight." Kyle gets it back, back-handing DuMont. However, it's too late—DuMont has sent a signal. Meanwhile, in Berlin, Jake uses the nanites to send a coded message to the NSA satellite, identifying the Banatech plane as the target. McP tells "DuMont" to take control of the plane. Jake refuses. The hackers are confused until DuMont's text message appears: DUMONT OUTHACKED BY NSA IMPOSTER-JAKE FOLEY. McP pistol-whips Jake, who falls to the floor, unconscious. Reaching over to one of the keyboards, he then hits a few keys. In the air above Berlin, the Banatech pilots are confused when first they received a radio message from Berlin telling them to land. Before they can, McP's computer takes control of the flight's fly-by-wire system and they find suddenly can no longer control the plane, which will now crash in 10 minutes.

Jake comes to, and faces Bit and Clu, who feel betrayed. Jake reveals that they were duped—there was never going to be any ransom. DuMont planned to use them to kill his "enemies." There are no Cayman accounts. The whole thing was a set-up. Jake points out that DuMont and McP probably planned to kill them all, why else would McP have a gun? McP asks them who they believe—him, or the NSA impostor. When Yori is hesitant, McP shoots Clu. Bit rushes to Clu's side, and Jake interfaces with the computer, sending a message to Sat Ops with the override code. Jake tells Yori it's going to be okay. McP notices that Jake has done something to the computer, which is now displaying a message which reads 'OVERRIDE CODE #NCC18646309 PRESS ENTER TO ENABLE.' Yori runs to the computer and hits enter, and Jake tackles mcP, sending him flying with his enhanced strength. Onboard the Banatech plane, the pilots regain control just in time to correct course. Back at Sat Ops, Kyle, Lou and Diane are relieved that Jake managed to save the day. Later, Jake watches German intelligence lead Yori to the elevator. Jake apologises to her—and she tells him there's nothing to apologise for, and that her real name is Rachel.

Later at the NSA, Jake and Diane arrive for work. Diane is amused because she rode to work that morning with the world's first ride-sharing superspy. Jake's phone beeps, and he sees a text message which reads "THE LAST THING JAKE FOLEY WILL SEE IS THE DEATH OWL." Jake heads to the holding cells, where DuMont asks him how Berlin went, and asks Jake if he missed him. The two face off, and then the episode fades out.

Guest cast

"The Good, The Bad, and the Geeky" is a major turning point for Jake. First stylistically, as the direction and editing really crystallise in a way the look of Jake 2.0. Secondly, it establishes Jake's opposite number in DuMont (a character that will reappear in the as-yet unaired "Blackout"). Lastly, the show really embraces its geekitude, packing the script full of in-jokes and pop-cultural references from Verizon commercials and Man from U.N.C.L.E, to Sherlock Holmes and Tron. There's a lot of Tron. And did we mention, Tron? The episode also reunites Christopher Gorham with his Popular co-star Carly Pope as Yori, and sparks fly. It is also the second episode in a row sans Sarah, and unlike Arms and the Girl, not even so much as a Sarah-mention. Likewise, while Jake and Diane's friendship continues to develop, there's little in the way of Jake/Diane romantic tension. However, as a bonus, we get to see Kyle lose his temper, displaying a bit of a dark side as he enjoys a little undue force where DuMont is concerned. Jesse Cadotte's DuMont is the most memorable villain on the series thus far, and really gives both Jake and the NSA a run for their money. Overall, one of the most solidly entertaining adventures, which sets the bar high for future episodes. And delivering on the potential shown in "The Good...", with very few exceptions, the show only improves from this point forward. Mad props to Javier Grillo-Marxuach for some of the funniest lines in Jake thus far ("These are my people." being a personal fave), and Jake's growth as a field operative, as he tackles his first overseas undercover mission.

Quotes of the Week:

Jake (to Diane via cellphone): "I know it's an important meeting. I'm wearing a tie. But my car was on fire. Yes, fire. Flames of fire shooting out of the hood."

Jake: "James Bond, Napoleon Solo, Steve Austin. You never saw any of those guys count pennies for a tow."
Diane: "Okay, you can't compare yourself to Steve Austin. He was a man barely alive. They had to rebuild him."

Jake: "You know, I made more when I was de-fragging hard drives around here than I do fighting Uncle Sam's enemies. And you know why? Two words: Over-time."

Lou: "Is he still playing that on-line game?"
Jake: "He cut off my leg!"

Jake: "Not longer, you're killing me. I haven't slept, I haven't showered, and I have one leg."
Kyle: "Why don't you just use that dagger thing?"
Jake: "You. Go away. Now."

DuMont: "Foley ... you're talented, but when you wake up tomorrow you're still gonna be the same government droid sellout."
Jake: "You're still gonna be in that cell."
DuMont: "Don't bet on it. You know the difference between you and me? I've lived. I've been to every continent, and I've eaten every food, and I've had hotter sex than you'll ever know ... and when I get out with the sole mission to personally frag your ass for depriving me of that, you're still gonna be the same thrift-store-clothes-wearing, six-dollar-haircut loser I see before me."

Jake: "These aren't drug dealers. They're not terrorists. They're nerds. They're like... they're like nerds gone wild. These are my people."

Kyle: "Your cell phone functions as a streaming video transmitter. Show us what they look like, okay? Where are you gonna keep it?"
Jake: Uh, my coat lining?"
Kyle: "No, it's a cell phone."
Jake: "Right. It's a phone. Treat it like a phone."

Yori: "Temping was the worst. Anything goes wrong, they blame you. Dranzacom fired me because they thought I was stealing post-its. Well, that and I wouldn't sleep with the homunculus office manager."

Lou: "What the hell is he doing?"
Diane: "I think it's the slip. It's this dance ... more like a grind, actually. It's very popular. It's very popular in the mitte district. Not helping. Right."

Lou: "Why is Jake in all of his photos?"
Kyle: "I have no idea."

© Tara O'Shea 2003

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